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Vent: the guest list!

aaahhh, the dreaded guest list! i know we all vent about it, but seriously. . .  the wedding is next month so how do people not know by now whether they are coming or not??? and most of our guests live on the east coast.why do i have spend time tracking them down to get an answer out of them? i'd like to finalize my budget and and knowing how many people are coming is sort of important!! i also hope i don't end up in kelsey's situation where people tell me a week or two before that they aren't coming!! it's SO unbelievably annoying and frusturating . . .
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Re: Vent: the guest list!

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    elaineNgeneelaineNgene member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I KNOW!!!  Hello, they should have their tickets and lodging by now, so why haven't they RSVP'd for the wedding????  In our case, we just assumed that the non-responses, even after we contacted them once, are NO GOs.  If they haven't told you by now, I think it would be rude for them to give you a last minute yes and expect to be accommodated, just my opinion though.BTW, I ended up ordering the 3.5 boxes through Creations By You, so it should be okay, just more cookies.  At least they have the size closest to the ones we wanted.
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    edited December 2011
    Oh, girl, I can totally relate.  As if the bride has nothing else to do!!  For my non-responders, I just sent a follow up email about 2 weeks after the RSVP deadline, which made responding easier for some of my people (you know, because mailing back a pre-stamped, pre-addressed card is difficult).  And after I reached out to everyone once, if I didn't hear back, I just assumed they weren't coming.  I mean, if they can't be bothered to get in touch w/ me after I sent an invitation and a follow-up, I figured F- it.  Just not worth the time and energy expended.  I am getting married in two weeks and some people still are like... "eh, if a good last minute deal comes along."  WTF?  I mean, I won't be hurt if they just say "no."  In fact, it would make my life so much easier!!  Maybe some people just have a hard time making it official that they aren't coming ?? IDK... Anyway, good luck hunting down the stragglers!  Is there anyone else you can assign to do some of it for you?
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    diorgrl8diorgrl8 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i hear ya!!! we are still getting laggers who haven't booked flights yet! UGH! (his brother and sister in law)People don't realize how stressful planning is, and I just can't stand people who like to wait til the very last minute...So frustrating!I've decided since the whole thing with my mom's friends attending , that i'm cutting it off...if you haven;t responded. you're obviously not dying to go. It just gets to be ridiculous
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    AngelshannAngelshann member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have people who are still on the fence too! Half of my invitations went to people in the mainland. My aunt lives in Arizona and she still hasn't decided if she is coming. I am following up with those who haven't responded via email and then a phone call if necessary.
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    KKakesKKakes member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh man! That totally happened to me!! Its like no one even pays attention to the fact that there is an RSVP date...its like, could I have made it any easier for you...I stamped it and everything, all ya gotta do is check a box! ha. Hang in there. It always surprises me with a destination so far away people dont plan ahead!
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    mauidandymauidandy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    omg, so annoying! i don't get that AT ALL. unfortunatley, i think most of us will have to deal with guests like that....there are so many flakes out in the world! i like the idea of assigning someone else to track them down, or else just plan on them not showing up.
    andrea and ryan . june 2010 . maui.olowalu
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    My Planning Bio
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    diorgrl8diorgrl8 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    oh and the ones i counted on not showing up when they failed to RSVP on the deadline...decided they are going after all! so either way, it's freaking annoying. I will never flake on an RSVP ever again in my life... hehe
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    edited December 2011
    Yea I get ya girls.....I have been sending out a monthly email since 6 months before the wedding basically telling them all the detials over and over and over again, Some peoplae say I'm crazy but this way noone can say they didn't know or have the info etc. Lucky for me it has helped with the RSVPing.....although we just found out last week that our best man is going to make it (yay) but he was going to not come, uh......you tell us 6 weeks out, your are the BEST MAN for eff;s sake!
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    carrieoz_76carrieoz_76 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm a believer in giving ppl the info they need, and letting their actions speak for them.  So, we'll be following up with folks by email and phone if they don't RSVP, but probably only once, and my message will be something like "we'd really love it if you could come, but if you're planning to come we need to know by XX date in order to finalize our plans for the reception.  If we don't hear from you by then, we'll assume you can't make it.  Thanks!"You leave it in their hands.  And, done.(she says, not having started the process yet.  :) )
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    edited December 2011
    We also have people telling us that they are still thinking about it. REALLY??? We are getting married the Sunday before Thanksgiving. I don't expect the fares to get any better than they are now!! Oh well -- at least everyone wants to come because our wedding is going to be sooo much fun ;) HA HA!! Thats what I tell myself when I get frustrated
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    edited December 2011
    Heeheehee!  Sorry to gloat... but these are the times I'm glad the wedding's over!  I feel you ladies!  Hang in there!  :)
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    maui2011maui2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Guilty...i am notoriously bad for not returning RSVP's even when stamped...how lazy...but not anymore...this board has mos def reformed me.  Although i am not in your situation as of yet i would give them one more chance by stating that a non response means you will not be able to attend and leave it at that and don't count them in. Hopefully this will help put a fire under their butts! Hang in there!!! J. :-)
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    Samaralynn23Samaralynn23 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    HAHA, yah I'm just not going to go there. Honestly I figured because we picked a Monday to get married on our special 23 that most of our friends here wouldnt be attending since they would ahve to take off work just to drive out to Hauula. We knew most of the people coming form the mainland and had a couple surprises by some that was really nice but the ones who bug me are the ones we've been friends with forquite awhile and well I'm not oging to call and ask everyone knows so either you here for good food, good people, good times or you not.
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    edited December 2011
    I am so dreading this very thing. I know we are going to have later responders. I always send my RSVPs back same day if I know whether I can come. It's just common courtesy. Good luck!!!
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