AHR's

WinstonsGirl

Hey Ladies, 

   FI and I are trying to decide whether or not to do an AHR.  My Mom really wants us to do something, but part of the reason we are going away is to avoid having a giant wedding.  Having a bigger party at home doesn't bother me so much as we won't be doing the officia "reception" stuff.  Brea, I know you did dueling pianos, and Tanq, I know you had one too.  2 questions for all of you here:

Why did you decide to have an AHR??  and What did you do??  

Thanks in advance ladies!!

breaness

We decided to have an AHR to make the parents happy to be honest. But I'm SO glad we did it. It was a lot of fun, we got to celebrate with our closest friends and family, and we never sacrificed our vision for our wedding. There was nothing wedding-y about our party, so it wasn't like having a big wedding. We had the dueling pianos, really good food, and we played our wedding video (3 mins). It was nice, but it felt more like a party in our honor than a wedding reception. No toasts, no speeches, no bullsh*t.

It was perfect for us.

You can have an AHR without having a "giant wedding." Just do it in your style

Tanq&Tonic

Ours was pretty much the opposite of Brea's. 400 people, giant hotel ballroom, speeches, cake, and of course the dress. It certainly wasn't what we wanted (in fact, the antithesis) but it was our parents' dream / expectation / requirement. They were absolutely crushed when we told them about Hawaii, so this party was entirely for them. 400 guests, about half out of town, and about 20 were our friends who couldn't make the wedding. You're totally right it kind of defeats the purpose of a small, destination wedding, but really it allowed us to keep the wedding day "our way" while still giving our parents some of theirs. We still hosted a welcome dinner and farewell brunch for family and out of town guests with the AHR, so we actually spent more than the wedding and did all the things we didn't want to, but still it was this "other party" and not our actual wedding day. I love Brea's advice about making it what works for you and what you can live with.

jessj336

I am having an AHR because my mom really wanted to have a party to invite all of the family & friends who aren't coming to the wedding (or weren't invited to the wedding). We are having a cocktail reception with about 150 people and will have pictures, etc from the wedding there.

WinstonsGirl

Hmm.  Nice to know we're not the only ones looking at this cos of Mothers.  I know we'll end up with something we like, we just not sure of what to do.  We didn't do a lot of venue searching as we decided pretty early on to go to Hawaii and we're not keen to start again.  Mom's thinking of renting out a restaurant.  We'd love to do a drop in BBQ at their house, but she's worried about rain and 80 people using her one bathroom even though they have 2.5 in the house.    

breaness

We got a smaller banquet room at a hotel near us. The food was spectacular. Everyone said it was the best food they'd ever had at a wedding. It was a really easy choice. We emailed a couple of venues and Natalie (their catering manager) was the most responsive. I had honestly decided to go with them before we even saw the space or tried the food. For me, having someone who's really nice and super responsive is enough to get my business! She was great, and definitely made the AHR what it was outside of the entertainment.

kimmykupcakes

We are doing pretty much the same thing Jess is doing with about the same amount of ppl. We wanted a chance to have the wedding we wanted on Maui, but to still get to celebrate with everyone back home.