Showed my FI the wedding spredsheet

tiggy5555

Although the total was just at our budget he was shocked how fast things added up and is worried about the extra expenses Olowalu might require.

He wants to not rule out places like Mama's Fish House or even a beach ceremony until I get to see Maui for myself. He told me that Maui has a way of making you relax and not care about the fancy frills I'd like to have at Olowalu.

We could potentially save $6000 if we kept things simple like he is suggesting and now he has me thinking twice.

Anyone have the same or simular issues? I guess I can't really make a final decision until I go there. I feel like I've been stuck on the wedding roller-coaster lol!

Tanq&Tonic

You have been on quite the wedding rollercoaster!  I think your FI is right in a way...once you see the site in person, you'll have a pretty good feel for whether it is right for you both.

$6000 is A LOT of money.  Like crazy lot of money.  You could have a dream honeymoon for that amount of savings.  Or a nice chunk toward a home down payment   I think a lot of folks on this board have grappled with this!  Mama's is a great consideration.  Five Palms, too.  Gannon's.  Mala.  Any of the local luaus after a beach wedding. 

Lots of creative ways to get things done & still make it yours.  How many guests are you expecting again?

tiggy5555

21 is my number including myself and th FH. I'm sure some may not book flights and others may surprise us but I'm guessing no more that 25. Once I got some catering quotes, lighting cost, and rentals for Olowalu things became really clear. I realized caterers actually charge extra for parties under 25, probably because it's almost the same amount of work but fews plates and less profit for them.

I was even shocked when I seen the $6000 difference and thought about how we could extend our honeymoon or just save the money since we will be trying for babies after we get married.

Simple wedding on the beach/photog/drinks/fancy dinner = $6500
3 hour susnset ceremony @ Olowalu/photog/ dinner/drinks in Lahaina= $8,000
Early night @ Olwalu (Ceremony/cocktails/early supper/photog)=$10,000
All day @ Olowalu with all that my heart can dream of LOL = $12,500

breaness

I'm with your FI here, as long as you aren't compromising to the point that you'll be unhappy with the day. If you get there and find that you can have the wedding of your dreams minus a few expendable expensive options, then do it! But if you're afraid you'll regret those things forever, while $6k is a lot of money, it's only money... and (hopefully) you'll be able to get that money again in time.

tiggy5555

*Breaness* Well my only must is saying "I Do" and when I think about it like that it really puts things in perspective. I could seriously marry him today and be the happiest person ever. I think it doesn't help when close family are going through pretty tough times and I am over here looking a $950 bamboo dining canopy. I feel guilty enough taking a scouting trip this Sept. and when we looked at the totals it snapped us back to reality.

maui2011

Based solely on your numbers and your desire for Olowalu i think a good comprise would be the 3 hour sunset ceremony at Olowalu...that gives you the best of both...your ceremony at Olowalu and extra $ in your pocket.  When you do a site visit you will be in a better position to make this decision.  While on Maui i would look at as many venues as you can including beaches that you and your FI are interested in.  HTH! J. :-)

AKWinterBride

Do whatever makes you happy!  If you think you can be happy with a simple beach wedding, then do it!  However, don't let your FI talk you into something you don't want either.  Guys don't spend much time thinking about their wedding, and let's face it - girls dream of it.  Do what you want, don't worry about the money,  you can always make more!

fabutan

I think it's great that you have a few options to work with and you know what you and FI's preferences are.  If I were you, I'd choose a handful of "must-see sites" and check them out seriously during your site visit/scouting trip....if there's time left, I'd squeeze in a few other sites as well.

A lot can change during the scouting trip, at least that's what happened to us.  We had our hearts 98% set on a venue before visiting Maui, but changed our minds completely afterwards.  Funny enough, we chose the very last site we viewed during the entire trip and this took us in a whole new direction.  Lesson learned - keep an open mind!  There are lots of options out there...  Also, pictures and websites can be very different from real-life.  You're already taking the right step in physically going there to check things out!  

Private estates (i.e. Olowalu, Sugarman) are really popular on this board... but costs can really add up to achieve "the look" that you want.  It's a blank canvas and you'd have to bring literally everything in.  The views are great in the daytime, but at night, the views are gone and it's just pitch dark.  Extra lighting can cost a bundle.  Tents are costly and (in my opinion) not exactly attractive.  Catering can be hit-and-miss at times.  Sorry to be a downer, but just want to point out some of the potential downsides of the all-day Olowalu option!  Like your FI said, I think there are ways to get a better bang for your buck and still have a gorgeous wedding.  Hope this helps somewhat!  

tiggy5555

This really helps everyone!! I love this board! Fab I never thought about the night thing at Olowalu...very true about not seeing anything. This scouting trip is really gonna help.