How do I Get the Best Man and Grooms Men to help

phyllicia97

Hi Knotties,
I need your help. My fiance and I have a couple of wedding projects coming up and each time we ask for help, my maid of honor and bridesmaid always steps up first to assist and I never hear back from the Best Man or Groomsmen. It's really frustrating for me and I think that its not fair to my friends. To make matters worse, my fiance has decided to pay for their suite rentals. How would you get these guys to help out without seeming like a bridezilla?

A.a.A.

What kinds of things are you asking them to do? They may not be interested or into it. What are their schedules like? They may just be busy.

Most of the things I'd needed help with ahead of time were crafty things, so my MOH and I just did it ourselves. When it was the week of the wedding, THEN the GM pitched in. They helped set up the RD and I gave them a few tasks for the wedding day. I think guys just aren't into wedding stuff or they need a concrete thing to do, like "Hey GM, on the wedding day, will you please go to the reception site in the morning at 9am and help so-and-so rake leaves and get the lawn looking nice?" They responded well to that.

kaesha

Okay, so keep in mind that the WP aren't slaves, you know? Their only real job is donning their required outfit and standing up there with you. Everything else is just bonus. They are obligated to help you if it's something they aren't interested in doing (and, I don't know about you, but I know a lot of guys out there are pretty uninterested in wedding stuff).

If you aren't hearing back from them, I assume you're communicating via email... so maybe you need to be more direct and get on the phone with them. If you really need help with something, tell them exactly what you need help with, and if they're busy, let it go.

AKWinterBride

Eeek, this is a tough one.  I guess if I were you I would have FI talk to them, and like the other girls said - it depends on the task.  I don't think they are going to jump to help you put together invitations, but I'm sure when it comes to more 'manly' tasks, they will be ready to help out!

Women definitely have more of a 'job' when they agree to be a part of a wedding party then men do.  Good luck!!

destiny1108

My girls helped me with our "crafty" things before the wedding and the men helped take care of all the errands the week of the wedding which allowed us time to get our manicure/pedicure, massage, etc.

carrieoz_76

To avoid being a bridezilla, since they're your FI's best man and groomsmen, he should ask for their help and not you.  He should call them and directly ask them to do something, and provide a timeframe.  If they choose not to agree to help (and they may), then that's their prerogative.  

Either way, it's best that whenever you do ask for help from a guy you do it directly (i.e., don't send an open-ended email asking who wants to help with X - chances are they don't really want to, and will wait till someone else offers).  Speaking from my experience as a big sister to two younger brothers, guys are used to just not responding in hopes of getting out of having to do something.  You'll get better results by directly asking them for their help.

13b

a case of beer also helps.....