Ceremony/AHR invitations

TashaK24

So, we sent STDs to about 30 people for the ceremony, knowing full well that most people wouldn't be able to join us on Maui. Nearly all of them told us that this was in fact the case, mostly due to monetary concerns. Should we still send them invites? I know that etiquette says if you get an STD, you get an invite, but in this case it feels like we're rubbing it in their faces that they can't come. If it were a case of they MAY be able to come, I would definitely send an invite, but people have said flat out that they can't afford it. Also, our AHR is less than 2 weeks after the wedding so the invites are going out almost at the same time.  If we DO send ceremony invites to these people, can we at least put them in the same envelope as the AHR invites?

I'm kind of feeling like "screw etiquette" about this... Oy.

breaness

I wouldn't send the ceremony invites, but I know that other people will disagree with that. I think if you are going to send the ceremony invite, there's no problem sending it with the AHR invite.

Steve's brother is coming with us to Hawaii for the wedding, but he's leaving straight from there to go live in Australia for a year (yeah, he's an interesting character... since his divorce several years ago, he's been very mobile, country hopping and staying far away for long periods of time) so he's not coming to the AHR for obvious reasons. I sent him a save the date before I knew that, but I'm not sending an invite because A) he's not going to have an address to send it to and I know without a doubt that he's not coming.

Tanq&Tonic

I don't see the harm in sending an invite.  I would add a short handwritten note that says I know it's unlikely you will be able to join us, but in the event that plans / circumstances change, we would still love to have you celebrate with us.  Either way, we would love to see you at our AHR...

I think it is fine to send both in the same envelope as they are related events

kimmykupcakes

I would send them.  You will upset some ppl if you don't and many ppl like to keep them even if they can't go.

TashaK24

So you guys don't think it's "rubbing it in" if they've already said they can't go because of financial reasons?  I just don't want to be insensitive!