Poll: Pros/Cons of getting married in Hawaii

kaesha

Many of us are DW brides and many more are partial or live on the islands, so, I'm going to try to word this question as inclusively as possible because I think this is a question that applies to everyone on the board!

When you were deciding where to get married, why did you choose Hawaii? What do you think the pros and cons are for island weddings? Biggest challenges? Biggest rewards?

melmac26

We chose to get married in Hawaii b/c we got engaged there. It now means something to the both of us. So we felt it was special to go back & get married there

Big Cons are most of my family & his probably won't be making the wedding. It's sad to think I won't see our families all together on our Big Day. BUT, even if we had it in a central location, there is no guarantee people could make that either. Both our families live all across the US, so we figured it's best to do what we want & hope ppl can travel. The other big CON for me, is I'm planning a lot of this sight unseen. I lived there for 2 months for work, but only had a small taste of Oahu on the weekends. So planning via email & phone calls is a bit un-settling. However, the girls on the boards have eased my mind on the vendors I'm choosing.

For me, the biggest decision was catering. There were SO MANY price points & the sky's the limit (more like the budget's the limit) with what you can do. So that was my biggest frustration with getting quotes & trying to find the right fit for us. Otherwise, I've been fairly decisive on what I want & who we've booked.
PROS- Everyone gets an amazing vacation. We're making sure we get everything we can done b/f we leave for Hawaii. That way we can enjoy time with family & friends while we're there. Definitely a pro! It's the most beautiful place, so why not go there & have an amazing time & take amazing pictures on your big day.

I think the biggest reward will be our wedding day. When all the stress & worries are done & we just go with the flow b/c we're getting married!!!! YAY!

leejj3

I'm a partial-DW and there was no question that I was getting married in Hawaii even when I left for college 7 years ago. It was always a given that I was going to get married in hawaii no matter who I ended up marrying

Because I'm partial, a lot of planning was still pretty straightforward. My mom works at a country club and I 'm having it there, my cousins have gotten married recently and I'm using a lot of their vendors, my mom and aunts have gone scouting for various things like favors/flowers/decor so not too much drama there.

The biggest con is definitely people not attending. A lot of our college friends were really torn about not being able to make it as weddings become huge reunions and awesome fun times all around and I felt really guilty a lot of the time that some friends couldn't make it. I really struggled with that. Also, because only FI's immediate family is making the trip, they're going to be way outnumbered and FI's mom is not so excited about the wedding being all about me and my family. Drama drama.

Overall though, there was definitely never a question that a Hawaii wedding was perfect for us. Even like 4 years ago when FI and I first started dating, our friends were telling us that whenever we get married in Hawaii, it was going to be an epic "Vandy takes over hawaii" kind of trip... Can't believe its so close!!!

AKWinterBride

We chose to get  married in Hawaii because we feel so at home there.  We have traveled there many times together, and we just 'fit' when we are there.  Plus, I am an older bride (wil be 30 when we get married), and I have long gotten over my dreams of a huge princess wedding.  When we got engaged, within 20 seconds we both just looked at eachother and said, 'Maui!', and it was set! 

Plus, all of our guests get an awesome Hawaiian vacation!! 

Cons of getting married in Hawaii:  I have never seen our site in real life, never met any of the vendors, never got to have a tasting of food or cake, I'm pretty much just putting my faith in my vendors and my coordinator that everything will be great.  From my communications with everyone I am confident it will be awesome, but there's always a lingering doubt, you know? 

Pros of getting married in Hawaii:  Ummm, it's Hawaii!!!!  Beyond that though, we will get to spend a week in Maui with family from all over the US, it just can't get better than that!  After our wedding we will have a chance to get away from all that wonderful family by just hopping on a short plane ride and it's like we are in a completely different world, great way for some alone time.  And lastly, it's  going to be amazing no matter what - if our cake sucks, our food is awful, our DJ can't play music - it doesn't matter, cause we will be in paradise pledging ourselves to each other for life.  I can't wait!!!!!!!

Addition:  I guess to most this would be a Con, but to us it is definitely a Pro:  less guests.  While we love our family and friends, neither of us ever wanted a big wedding where we had to invite everyone we or our parents have ever met.  We originally wanted it really small - like immediate family only, but now I a happy that our extended families (aunts and uncles and select cousins) are coming.  50-60 people is just the right size for us, I would have thrown up if we had to have 200 people that we just kind of knew. 

chikarakobu

Why Hawaii? DH and I are from different countries, and our relatives are from all over.  We didn't want to have the wedding in either of our hometowns, and with Hawaii being a popular destination wedding spot, we knew it would probably be the easiest to plan from OOT.  It also didn't hurt that it's a beautiful place that's easy to get to!

Pros: Beautiful venues, and again, being a popular wedding destination there are good packages available, and I found (some) of the prices to be quite reasonable compared to venues where I live.  We were able to cut the guest list down by quite a bit (we wanted a small wedding), we could have the HM right after, and it gave many of our guests an opportunity to take a vacation.

Cons: Some guests who you might reall want to come won't be able to, scouting trips hike up the price, you have to rely on e-mails to communicate with vendors, you might not be able to see/taste food, flowers, decorations etc.  I couldn't afford a scouting trip so I just had to go off of other knotties pics and reviews, and cross my fingers that everything would be as good as the reviews.  It also requires a lot of research and cross-referencing of vendors, venues, etc.

Biggest challenge: deciding on vendors without having met them.  Feeling guilty for making people pay to attend your wedding, and taking up so much of their time.

Biggest reward: people still talk about our wedding, the venue and the food, not to mention all the fun things they did while they were in HI.

caiandcullen

Why did you choose Hawaii? DH and I were both born and raised in HI, so it really was a no-brainer for us. Plus most of our family is there (his Irish side is scattered about), so we were able to have family there. Plus it's HI. My LA and NYC friends were excited to make a vacation out of it.

What do you think the pros and cons are for island weddings?
PROS: It's HI. Need we say anymore? All of our NYC friends (and others who are elsewhere on the mainland) were all very excited and took vacations. It was nice to show them our home.
CONS: The time difference from NYC was a little difficult to deal with. Also, I wasn't able to be there to get everything together (eg. favors) as much in advance as I would have liked. Working with vendors via email wasn't too bad - I prefer a paper trail

Biggest Challenge: There wasn't really anything that was too challenging. I got to go home more often than I usually do, so I was able to do trial runs, tastings, etc.

Biggest Rewards: To this day guests are still talking about how beautiful our wedding and Hawaii was. They want us to have a vow renewal in 5 years so they can go back!

mocha beans

Why did we decide to go to Hawaii?  Because when the local wedding idea became unpalatable, and we started talking a DW, I was really stuck on doing it on an island.  Since we didn't want to make our guests have to get passports that they may not have or use again, Hawaii it was.  For whatever reason, I'm drawn to islands; Hawaii has always been way more appealing than California or Florida.

What are the pros?  It's gorgeous, duh!  We got out honeymoon at the same time, and since it was a DW for everyone, we got to vacation with our best friends for a week too, which was the best part IMO.

The cons?  Planning from 4k miles away isn't the easiest thing, we didn't get to try any food or see the site before the wedding.  But that wasn't the end of the world, everything worked out awesomely.  And obviously, most of our friends and family couldn't make it, that did suck.  The biggest con I guess was having to go home!  At the end of the trip we were trying to figure out a way to make us all stuck in Hawaii for a few more days.

I'm very very glad we decided to do Hawaii.  It was a perfect wedding, and getting to spend the week with our best friends in paradise was even better.  Some people have thought it was weird that we spent our honeymoon with our friend, but I think it was perfect.  Everyone got along great, so we got to duck out by ourselves a few times without feeling guilty about abandoning our friends.  We're all alot closer together now and will probably be planning future vacations together.

m_eblin

Deciding on Hawaii to get married took a while because we thought we had to get married in CA.  Deep down a wedding here was definately not what either of us wanted.  We looked into Vegas (strictly to keep the guest list low) and weren't impressed at all.  So we put off planning.  We've gone to Hawaii several times together, my engagement ring was purchased in Hawaii one year, engaged there the next year...getting married there seemed right. 

Cons:  My sister, niece and nephew could not afford that trip but I had doubts that they would come if we had married in CA.  Not meeting my hair/makeup person was a little stressful but at a certain point I gave up the worry and it turned out great.  I think coming on this board was by far the most helpful resource not only for vendors but support when I had some freak out moments. 

Pros:  Small guest list!  To some this may not be a pro but we really wanted it low key and easy.  Photography...I think Hawaii has some amazing photographers and I felt that their prices were better then what I would gotten in CA.  Not to mention when you look at our photos you know you're looking at Hawaii and I can't tell you how many people have gone nuts over our photos. 

Biggest Challenge:  Finding decent prices on airfare.  LA to Maui isn't cheap.

Biggest Reward:  Having the wedding we always wanted but didn't think we were allowed to do and having people still be ridiculously excited for us.  Having it turn into a great family vacation being totally silly.  The memories I have put a major smile on my face and I can't think of one bad moment the entire week.  Maybe it's the Hawaiian air...but it's just a really special place.

jackcody

Why did you choose Hawaii? Even before he proposed, we knew it was the most reasonable spot.  I'm originally from Alaska, and he's Australian. So, we figured it was the fairest "middle" point.  Plus, it's where my parents spend their winters, so I'm fairly familiar with the area. 

What do you think the pros and cons are for island weddings?

PROS: I think a lot of our friends and family are excited to go to Hawaii for a bit of a holiday.  It gave me an extra excuse to visit my family for a "planning trip."

CONS: Not everyone we want can be there--but that would've happened anywhere, everyone is so spread out.  The expectation of a casual Hawaiian event drives me nuts.  Booking people from reviews and websites is difficult (read unnerving).  
Biggest Challenge: The time difference--both literal and their "Island Time" are difficult to deal with.  My personal challenge: somehow, I've become our guests travel agents, literally.  I'm booking everything for most people (especially the Aussies) and then we're dealing with their money exchange, etc.  I've booked everyone's hotels, and all the Aussie's air, and planned/booked FI's vegas bucks party...I can't wait 'til I'm done with this.  

Biggest Rewards: Hopefully people will have fun.  Plus, I like that it makes it easier to turn one party into a weekend celebration.  I've heard it goes by too fast, so this is a nice way to spread out the time with our friends and family.  

ETweet

Why did you choose Hawaii? DH & I attended a DW on Maui a few months before we got engaged. We loved how laid back it was and how intimate the wedding was because only close friends and family came, not friends of parents and other people that you feel you have to invite. We loved the romance that the island offered and that it was a memorable week for everyone. It was something out of the ordinary and we consider ourselves to be non-traditional. We also have a passion for travel and wanted to share that with our families.

What do you think the pros are for island weddings? You can go as big or small as you like! There is something to fit every budget and you can't beat the free scenery! If it's a DW, it's most likely something that your guests will remember for years to come.

What do you think the cons are for island weddings? It may be challenging to let go of not having every friend and relative present if it is a DW.

Biggest challenges? Planning an island wedding from the mainland was difficult due to the time difference and having to get used to the island time our vendors were going off of. I wanted things done yesterday and they were extremely relaxed. In the end I appreciated that and just wish I had understood that earlier. It was challenging for me to not be able to take a scouting trip to see where I was getting married and meet my vendors first. Figuring out how to get everything to the island was a bit challenging as well. However, with the help of my beautiful nestie friends everything turned out to be magical!

Biggest rewards? Our wedding was a dream come true! There is nothing I regret and can truly say it was the best night of my life! Our guests are still talking about it six months later and I know they will remember it for the rest of their lives. Everything was so relaxed, the weather was beautiful, and I had my most favorite people on this planet with me. I didn't have a care in the world and I know that wouldn't have been possible had we gotten married back home in MN.

jmteter

Hey Jenn - you mentioned Vandy taking over Hawaii...  Are you here in Nashville, too?  Hawaii must be a popular place for folks in TN to run off to - when I was looking at dresses in the bridal salon, the consultant was asking about the wedding.  When I told her it was in Hawaii, she said I was about the 4th or 5th bride they'd had that day who was getting married in HI...  Small world, I guess...

Why did you choose Hawaii? Primarily to keep the cost down.  We knew that in order to have the wedding I wanted here locally, it would cost us more than double what my parents were contributing.  We just built a new house and we both are getting ready to have to replace our cars and we figured why go into debt for a wedding when we have other things to worry about.  So, having a DW made sense/cents.  We can have a beautiful ceremony there with a gorgeous reception on the beach at sunset with our closest friends & family then come bacl to the mainland and have a couple of at-home receptions and still put very little out of pocket (beyond my dad's budget). 
We chose Hawaii as the destination because right after we started dating, FI left me "all alone" on July 4th to travel to HI to visit his niece (her Navy hubs was stationed there).  Even though it was early enougn in our relationship that I didn't expect him to take me along at the time, I still give him a hard time about going without me.  it seemed like a great idea for us to go back together...

What do you think the pros and cons are for island weddings?
PROS: The great family vacation we'll be getting out of it.  My parents aren't getting any younger so it'll be nice to have a big trip like this with them while they are still able to travel.  And we'll be in paradise with our best friends - how can that be anything but amazing!!
CONS: We will be missing some of our friends who can't make the trip - especially one of my besties who is terminal with Stage 4 breast cancer and likely won't be able to physically handle the travel.  BUT - we still get to celebrate with everyone after we get home so I'm becoming more & more comfortablle with the small guest list...

Biggest Challenge: A control freak like me planning the biggest day of my life from a 5-hour time difference away...  We don't have the time/budget for site visits and vendor meetings so this is all sight unseen for me and it's making me a little crazy.  Especially since I have to chill out and adjust to island time - and the delays in getting e-mail responses, having to wait until 8 o'clock at night to call people,.etc. 
Biggest Rewards: To FINALLY be married after 7 long years of dating.  I don't see how this whole experience isn't going to be a reward!!!!

steplite

I'm very new to this. we just want to find a minister to marry us in a private ceramony in Hawaii. we're  planning  a big reception back at home for friends and family. Can some one recommend a hotel . we plan to book with apple vacations May 9th-May 16th. Any help would be appreciated. we're both over 50 and just want it super plain but nice. Thanks