Hawaii

How competitive are you?

I just went to a wedding this past weekend, and FI and I were seated with two couples (one married recently and the other just dating for a year and a half) who are also coming to our wedding.  These two couples started discussing possible ideas for wedding games, decoration, food trucks, etc.  All seemed creative but being the seasoned bride (been engaged for close to two years so I've seen a bunch of wedding trends come and go), I knew they've all been done before.  As they're cooing over the one dude's wedding ideas (which were borrowed from all previous weddings he attended), I found myself feeling strangely defensive.  When it was suggested that we maybe jot down these great ideas, I was pleasantly surprised to hear my FI say, "Maybe you should just wait and see what we have planned for our wedding first." 

That being said, I was just wondering if this is just the attitue of a proud competition-driven freak (me) or if any other brides feel the need to top all other weddings that have come before in the history of time...?  Innocent  I know I'm not the only one because last year, I had two back-to-back weddings for college friends and at the second wedding, the bride asked us, "Was ours better than theirs?" 

Re: How competitive are you?

  • motoLynmotoLyn member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Unfortunately or fortunately what ever a person looks at it I am not a competitive person.  I have come to realize that people have different opinions, so what would be a spectacular aspect of someone's wedding to one person might be just blah to another.  So I say whatever you choose to do at your wedding is unique and meaningful to you and your FI.  Doesn't matter if its been done before or not. 
  • edited December 2011
    I'm an uber competitive person naturally, but when it came to the wedding, it wasn't at all about beating / topping anyone else.  Instead, it was about executing the vision I had to the best of my ability -- we meshed in some elements we had seen before at weddings and liked, we invented some of our own stuff, and it came together as a unique experience for us.  As motoLyn says, what's "amazing" to one person can even be horrendous to someone else, so there's just really no point in getting too worked up about it either way.  Plan the day you want it to be, regardless of whether it was done before or whether someone else would be impressed.
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  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
       I agree.  I'm super competitive too, but I don't care about other people's weddings.  We're doing what we want and what we'll be comfortable with.  The best weddings I have been to have been the ones which were very specific to the couple, such as a friends music themed wedding with 1 hour of karaoke before the dance.  They both love it and it made the day very much about them.  
       That being said, lots of people are all about how big, how much and who can do it better.  Let them do their big weddings that are about impressing others, and stick with what you want to make you happy.  Just my thoughts...  

  • breanessbreaness member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm also very competitive but for some reason I never thought that a wedding would be something to compete about. It's a very personal thing and it should be about the couple, not about who can throw the best party.
  • sld0618sld0618 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well I will go against the grain here and say yes, I totally just found myself competitive at the wedding from the past two weddings I've been to.  One reason is because one was my cousin's who got engaged right at the same time I did and I felt as if they were stealing my thunder with the engagement.  It was like hey we're getting engaged and then they responded with, we are too and getting married in two months!  So then it became all about them and the whole family pretty much ignored my engagement in the beginning.  Anyways, from that, I felt like I had to top it because they got all the excitement in the beginning.  Totally lame, but this competitiveness is how our whole life has been.  The last one I went to, I just took notice of the things that went "wrong" so that they wouldn't at mine, so not really competitive, but just aware I guess?

    I think everyone wants that one thing that people will remember their wedding by to be unique.  It's just human nature though to leave a legacy.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm quite competitive I have to say. I do analyze other people's weddings...but I see both sides on this. There are things I'd NEVER do that others have at their weddings...Mexican food buffet...urped that all night :P But there are other things like the photo booths that I can never get enough of! Always a good time, for me at least!

    I think overall we're all unique in having our weddings in Hawaii :) It's a great time & a great vacation w/ the people you love most! Obviously, it's done ALL the time...but not all of my friends are doing it, so it's unique to them & my family.

    I think overall we all make judgements, but like everyone above, we have to do what makes us happy & enjoy the moment. It'll be here fast & go by even faster!
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