Hawaii

So, so PISSED!!!

Removing in case of snooping eyes....

Photobucket Photobucket Anniversary

Re: So, so PISSED!!!

  • breanessbreaness member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    That is awful of them. They missed the RSVP date by over a month! Hell no. Tell them to have fun in Hawaii and if you run into them, you run into them. Talk to FI and his parents. Get them on your side. That's just ridiculous.
  • AKWinterBrideAKWinterBride member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Thank you!! I feel awful, but it's so rude of them to expect us to suddenly make room for them and spend a ton of extra money just so that they can come after they explicitly told us 'no'. 

    I'm afraid there is no getting his family on my side, his Mom is extremely over emotional and I just see this turning into a big thing.  FI needs to step up and handle this, it's his family, I don't want to be the bad guy in the situation (which I will be anyway). 

    *sigh*

    And here everything was going so perfectly.... 
    Photobucket Photobucket Anniversary
  • motoLynmotoLyn member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    AKWB I'm sorry to hear about the issue.  I understand it gets so much more complicated when it involves family.  If they told you no in the first place, and then changed their mind and bought tickets for Hawaii a month later without consulting if they could still attend your wedding.  The blame is on them.  I know that we all want to accommodate family but if you don't have $1K to spare to accommodate them then you just can't.  If your FI's parents want to pony up and pay the difference then I would try to make for them.  If not then its best to get your FI to explain to his family that the cousin and his family can't attend.  It is simply financially impossible.  Take a moment for yourself, let the tears and frustration subside and then have a convo with your FI explaining the issue and the complications.  It is best that he delivers the news and that you guys show a united front.  Good luck lady!  Regardless don't lose site that you're getting married in less than 2 months!
  • sld0618sld0618 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would literally say, I'm sorry, it's not in our budge to expand anymore, if you would like to pay the extra costs of adding them on last minute!  If they want to pay that 1000 to come to your wedding, then do it, haha!  It will never happen. 
  • maui2011maui2011 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I'm so sorry that they put you and your FI in this awkward position.  I can completely understand why you would not want them there even if they did RSVP on time. If you really feel that strongly that they should not be there i would hold your ground, however just in case this may cause family drama i would explain your situation to your coordinator and see if she could speak with Olowalu to see if they can overlook the additional 4 people especially since two are children and go from there.  If they are not then be straight up with your FI and his mom and say that this will cost X more money as they would bring you over your capacity limit and i agree with pp if they are willing to pay the difference to accommodate them then so be it...let his side dish it out for them.  The positive if they do go is that you have 49 other people that you really want there and can concentrate on them and ignore his cousin.

    Weddings unfortunately can bring out the worst and the stupid in people. 

    Hang in there!!! J. :-)

  • AKWinterBrideAKWinterBride member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Thanks so much for the support ladies!  I'm still upset, but it is what it is - I am not letting them come.  Period. 
    They had a chance, and they said no, and we gave away their spots.  I know this is going to be drama, but at this point - I don't care.  I don't think I'm unreasonable saying no when they said no to us over a month ago.  I'll be the big bad b!tch, after the lies they told my FI about me, I truly couldn't care less what his cousin thinks of me I just don't want his Mom to be upset with me forever over this. 
    But, like you ladies said, if they want them there so bad then they can pay for it!! 
    Photobucket Photobucket Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    I totally agree with the other ladies. It's in your right to say no especially because it's an extra $1000 no one planned for. It's not a bitch move in my opinion or overreaction. And yes this is something your fiance needs to take care of if only to preserve your relationship with his mom.
  • edited December 2011
    Oh hells no! You're SOOOO not being bitchy about this. Jeez, they trashed you AND told you they weren't coming and then changed their minds?!? No way. Deadlines are there for a reason, you know?

    Hugs, hugs, hugs. Here's hoping you get all the important people that matter on your side (aka FMIL), and that your FI can smooth everything over.
  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    I'm in.  Even if you just use the we had to have our numbers in a month ago, sorry.  While I know you don't care if they're there, can they come to the ceremony but not the reception??  Might be a way to include them and appease family without losing out on costs??



  • edited December 2011
    UGH!  *hugs* to you.  And a glass of wine.  Or maybe some scotch.  WTF to the cousin.   That is far beyond inconsiderate.  That's just plain rude and tactless and unacceptable.

    I hope FI sees eye to eye and is willing to take a stand on this one.  It is a tough position for you since it is his family.  I would definitely check with the venue -- you might want to mention that you have reason to believe you may have a last minute change of RSVP from 2 adults with 2 children and whether they would be willing to make the exception on $ so you can accommodate last minute family situations.  If they are williing to waive the extra fees, I might just tell them to come, 1) to call their bluff if they are bluffing and 2) to always be able to say you took the higher road in all of this.

    But really, UGH!!
    image
  • kimmykupcakeskimmykupcakes member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry that you are having to go throught this. I would so not budge and would not let them come.  An RSVP date is there for a reason.  You are not a b!tch, they are a$$ holes! Hang in there.
  • edited December 2011
    So sorry dear *hugs* upon *hugs*! 

    I agree with all the other ladies.  It's as simple as "you snooze, you lose."  Don't feel bad--the fact that they asked if they could still come instead of telling you suggests that they know they were in the wrong (*maybe*).  Hopefully, they'll back down soon and your FMIL will understand.  I hope it all works out for you!

  • edited December 2011
    You poor thing! I'm so sorry about your situation. Say NO!!!!!! It's way too late.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    I totally understand how you feel.  I had this same exact problem. I had to stand up and say no even though it was really hard!  You are the bride; it's your wedding...say NO!  
  • cshulercshuler member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Take a deep breath and remember it is your day. Explain to everyone that the deadline has passed and your budget is set. Vendors will be paid based upon who RSVP on time. Period. If they come to Hawaii anyway, tell them see them around. They can see your wedding photos on your webpage. Do not stress. It is your Day. God Bless.
    Anniversary
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards