Seriously?! We just can't catch a break! Volcanoes and Visas

TashaK24

Have any of you been watching the Iceland volcano?  Yep, FI and his family are due to fly out in two days and the stupid volcano may get in the way. Stupid volcano...

And today we found out that it's going to be really difficult for my future UK employer to get me a work visa so we probably have to go the spouse visa route, but we can't get a marriage license for several weeks for some stupid reason, and then we have to actually APPLY for the visa... so I'm going to be stuck here for months without my husband  (and he's taking our dog back with him so I'll be totally alone).  FI thinks we should just "get married" on Maui and then do the official stuff back in Seattle because we can get a certified copy of the marriage certificate within 10 days.  But I HATE that idea.  If we're getting married on Maui,we're getting MARRIED, you know?  He doesn't get it, and now we had a little tiff.  And it's 9 days until the wedding (or "wedding")   Can't I catch a freaking break?!!?

breaness

Aww honey, it really sucks, but honestly it's not a bad idea if that's what you need to do. A lot of the girls on the DW board who are getting married internationally do the JOP wedding at home before or after the wedding at their destination. My WC told me that he does it all the time in Hawaii too because of the wait for the certificate.

As long as you don't give the legal wedding any significance it should be okay. But, I do know what you mean about not wanting to have two weddings.

Best of luck One way or another, you guys will be married soon!

Tanq&Tonic

Oh wow...so stressful!! I'm so sorry you are going through all of this now.  All I can say is to try to stay calm and take it one day at a time. FI and family may not fly out on Wedsnedsay as exactly planned, but I am sure they have plenty of time to get to Hawaii over the next 9 days. It may not be the perfect schedule you had planned, but it will work out :-) FWIW the earthquake in Japan caused a tsunami that flooded our wedding site 7 days before our event, and the nuclear scare made it seem for a few days that none of us should travel to Hawaii. The best man even almost pulled out for fear of radiation exposure.  But in the end, it all worked out ok.  I know it doesn't really help to say that, but try to focus your energy on what you CAN do. Figure out what things you had planned for FI to do this week and delegate them to someone else. Contact the airline and ensure that wedding travel is noted on the reservation...in the event they do get delayed, they can sometimes give preferred reassignment status or confirm them on an alternate route. Also if anyone has status with the airline, use the platinum desk to get better customer serrvice. You may also want to Contact your coordinator about alternate plans in case FI and family get further delayed. Finally, I know it seems unpalatable to have your wedding celebration in Hawaii and then the official marriage license in Seattle, but living apart for months afterward sounds even more undesirable. Only you know which is more important to you and FI, but try to take a step back from what everything is supposed to be like and decide what is best for you guys. I learned pretty early on in the wedding process that it is one giant exercise in learning to compromise (which i hate doing), and once i got comfortable with that, everything got much easier.  Good luck and keep us posted!

motoLyn

I can't add any more advice since Bree and Tanq pretty much said it all.  I just wanted to give you my support.  It sounds so stressful, but your wedding is coming up.  Just focus on you and your soon to be hubby.

maui2011

Agreed with what everyone said...excellent advice and i also agree with your FI about going to a JOP either before or after you return from Maui...i know it will add a few more days but i would do it after...win win...you are officially married in Hawaii and then the JOP ceremony is purely for visa purposes and i think the two of you can make a fun and fantastic day of it...you can either keep it between yourselves or invite some friends and family along...make a day and evening out of it. This will not take anything away from your Hawaiian wedding. Sending you positive knottie vibes that your FI and FMIL fly out this week. It will all work out sweetie, hang in there! J. :-)

sld0618

UGH! I was stuck in Ireland during the volcano last year for over a week!  It is crazy!

Unfortunately, I have to agree with the rest because the thought of living without FI is just out of control.

How much of a difference in days is getting the marriage cert in seattle compared to hawaii?

TashaK24

The certified copy will be available to pick up 10 days after in Seattle, whereas it takes weeks/months to get the certificate from Hawaii.  I just wanted to do things in the right order

kimmykupcakes

Yikes! Hang in there and keep your head up.