boundary between DW and honeymoon

Ringer101

I'm wondering how you let your family really realize that you'll have your honeymoon right after the wedding even though all of you will be on the same island.

We decide to stay on Maui for 8 days (2 days before the wedding and 5 days after the wedding). It's a quite short amount of time because my FI can't leave his business too long.

When we were deciding whether we want to do a destination wedding, my FI guaranteed me that his parents wouldn't join our honeymoon. But in fact, his parents have been trying many different ways to stay with us for the entire trip. My FI already told his parents many times that we won't stay with them after the wedding, but it didn't work out... (His parents still keep sending us emails to tell us they will book a 2-bedroom condo. ) 

Now I've been seriously thinking about cancelling the entire honeymoon and let "other people" get what they want. 

Please advice! Thank you!

knockout7075

I would suggest booking all of your hotel reservations, etc. and politely telling them thank you for the offer but you have already made your arrangements. Maybe stay on the other side of Maui after the wedding so there is some distance. If you really want to get away, you could honeymoon on Kauai, flights aren't that expensive from Maui. But that may not be possible due to the short amount of time you have.

It's hard to draw the line but I would say try one of the above or take your honeymoon when you know it will only be the 2 of you. Sounds like since you have such a short time anyway it may be more relaxing to take it a few months after your wedding when you don't have to worry about family.

We are living in Hawaii now and have family flying from all parts of the mainland for our wedding. We know we don't get the opportunity to see them very much and since they are traveling so far for the wedding we are planning on spending time with them after the wedding instead of leaving them to fend for themselves. We are going to take a honeymoon in a few months-- just the two of us. Gives us more time to plan for the honeymoon instead of trying to plan both wedding and honeymoon at the same time.

Although, I'm curious what others are doing for the same situation..

Good luck!

cass_k20

We're going to a different island. We're getting married on Oahu. FI's family lives on Oahu already, and my family has rented a vacation house together for a week to make the cost of going to the wedding worth it. Family vacay + wedding all in one. 

After that week, my family is going over to Kauai for a few days. My mom also assumed we would be going with them. I had to tell her no, and that that is our honeymoon time. We're going to Molokai instead since we only have 4 days for the honeymoon. Not a lot to do on Molokai, but just enough where we get a little tourism and a lot of relaxing.  

destiny1108

We stayed n the same island,but stayed on the other side.  My Maid of Honor was kind enough to step in (when we weren't around) and told my parents that the honeymoon was ONLY for us.

FSForever

We are arriving 5 days before and staying the week after for our HM. We have already resolved that our Wedding night we will still be in the same condo complex as our guests, but with the whole day of events we don't think it will matter too much. We have children that will be flying out the day after with my Mother so we will see them off to the airport  and then begin our HM. We are also moving to a different part of the island. Only one guest, my brother, has asked were we will be and I told him it was a secret. He never brought it up again. 

Maybe plan to move to a different area of the island and tell his parents that its a surprise and that you would rather keep it to yourself? 

kaesha

We hung out with guests after the wedding, but that's because we wanted to! Just because your FILs have reserved a two bedroom condo doesn't mean you have to stay with them. Make your own post-wedding reservation, do it in a different location and don't tell anyone where it is. =P

stephcap32

We are getting married on Maui and will be there for a total of 10 nights.  The first 5- which includes our wedding day and night- we are staying in a condo where the rest of our families our staying.  The day after the wedding we are headed to another condo at a much nicer place for the remaining 5 days.  We haven't told anyone where we will be and have made it clear that the first half of our trip is family vacation/friends/wedding time and the last half is honeymoon.  So far everyone seems happy about it.
Just make your plans and be up front about it. Good luck and congrats!

WinstonsGirl

We hung out with family and friends after as well.  DH's family lives across the country from us, and his sister and cousins are still in Chile, so we don't see them often.  We took a seperate honeymoon this past summer, since we didn't really have a lot of time to ourselves after the wedding.  We did a Mediterranian Cruise and counted that.  

Keep your plans secret if you want to do a honeymoon.  Oh just be super blunt and tell the parents that they're welcome to join you at the hotel but you won't be seeing them cos you'll be cooped up consumating the marriage all day long.    

hismrsoneday

We are arriving on Oahu four days before the wedding.  We will stay there with family for three days after the wedding then we are flying to Maui for a three day honeymoon!  Island hopping seems to be the way to get time alone