What would you do? BM question

kschwedic

Good morning :)I have a question for you all...I'm sort of caught in the middle of what to do and just need some opinions.I have two bridesmaids right now.  I was going to ask my best friend (who has lived in CA since tenth grade but we've kept in touch and even lived together here one summer) to be a bridesmaid, but she joined the marines and wasn't sure at the time where or what she would be doing at the time of the wedding.She texted me this morning and asked me for the exact date of the wedding so that she can ask for leave, which will most likely, if not definitely, be approved.  If it is, she will be here Jan. 22-25, meaning she'd be here for the rehearsal dinner, also.Do you think I should go ahead and ask her to be a bridesmaid, or continue on with her being just a guest? It would mean the world to both of us if she could be in the wedding.  When we talked about it before, she said she would have liked to, but not knowing what would happen, it would probably be better if she wasn't.If I DO ask her and she's able, she can wear her dress blues from the marines (and our main color happens to be marine blue lol).  Or she might be able to go to DB where the other bridesmaid dresses were purchased and have her get one as well.  But I'd really hate to have her buy a dress when she's already buying a plane ticket just to come.So, what should I do? Just mention her in the program as an honorary bridesmaid? Ask her to be a BM? or just invite her as a guest and be done with it?Sorry this is so long! Thanks

amelianguy

I would say go ahead and ask her, and then if it doesn't work out for her to be there, don't freak out. But surely you would know early enough to where if she wasn't coming you could change the program. Even if you didn't, I doubt anyone would say anything if she was in the program but didn't make it. If she means that much to you, she should be up there with you. So go ahead and ask. And let her wear her dress blues so she doesn't have to worry about getting a dress. I think that would be pretty.

bigvoice3

I think if you want her to be a BM, ask her. If she can get leave, great. And you can ask her if she would like to wear her dress blues or buy a dress (whatever she can afford). But I think asking her would mean a lot to her regardless of whether she can come. I asked a friend to be a BM, and I knew she couldn't be in the wedding (she was going overseas to do mission work.) I explained to her, I love you, love our friendship, and would love to have you there. She said, "I'm flattered, but I can't be there." But it meant a lot to her that I asked.

kschwedic

Thanks ladies I emailed her this morning since she can't talk on the phone while at work, and I didn't want to wait any more! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything works out