Too many choices!

krazywizard13

Hey Ladies,

it was great meeting some fellow Knotties last Friday! Can't wait for the next get together. In the meantime, here's a little story with a question:

We have the following booked: Caterer, DJ, Photographer, Venue (two actually, need to drop one here soon), Church...and i think that's it. The problem is, I feel like something isn't quite right.

My finance and I have one thing we want: Get married ASAP/ be together (almost 4 years together with 2.5 being long distance). Our wedding date is October 20th, 2012, and I'm starting to feel antsy about the wait.

Since the wedding we are planning just isn't feeling like what we want it to be (not to sound like a brat but I think we both want a $25,000 wedding on a $15,000 budget) what should we do?!

(I graduate in May 2012, and will be moving in June, hence why June is our other option)

Follow through with the wedding we are planning for 10-20-12
Have a quickie courthouse ceremony with just us in June 2012 and throw the wedding reception of our dreams in a few years
Have just a church ceremony with family in June 2012
Wait to get married until we can throw down enough money to have the wedding of our dreams?

And a side note, I have dreaded and slogged through every minute of the wedding planning thus far and my attitude is more of "Ugh" than "Yay!" when I think of having to do more planning over the next year. Especially when I am not sure the wedding I am planning is the wedding I am going to look back on fondly. I feel like it's more of a "we're young and throwing this together for as cheap as possible". :-(

Also, my finance is 100% okay with whatever option, but he's definitely in favor of no reception.


Thanks for reading! Had to vent.

tiffanydaniels

oh wizard, you know my opinion on the matter! I think you should do it, you don't need a 25000 dollar wedding, I mean look at mine!! I think if you want to move it up then move it up! but you will be pressed for time! but you can do it, you can make anything amazing, just remember that no one remembers the food, the centerpieces, they just remember the good time they have! 

casims3

I think if you want to move it up, then go for it! I will say though, Oct 2012 will be here before you know it! FI and I got engaged Oct 2010 and it feels like it was yesterday. I was kinda like you with the planning at first...just not that excited. I think part of it was because the wedding felt so far away. (We are getting married 12/31/11.) Now that its getting closer I feel totally different about it!

I think you just have to do whatever feels right for you and your FI...and only you know what that is. Good luck!!

Jelenny

Well you should go with your gut.

Yeah I would have loved to have had a bigger budget but between the DIY, shopping around for vendors (booking early too) and figuring what what was most important our wedding didn't feel so "cheap."  Actually we got way more compliments on our wedding than my brother did on his and his was well over 50K.

The wedding should reflect the two of you - have fun with that aspect, look for fun ways to make it about the two of you.  (ie I had zombies on my wedding cake, funky shoes, and died crinny and for H we did pictures with our Crew scarves, he played Teach Me How to Bucky at the reception, and the garter was black and white with a Raiders dog tag as the charm).

The year will go quick - I promise.  I was thinking about how nuts the 16 month engagement would be but I kept busy up until the end.  Plus the more time the more you can do yourself, work on and plan for. 

You can hit up the classified to get some great deals on things to pull together an amazing wedding.  The great news is you have your guy...and you have a lifetime together be it as fiances for a bit longer or husband and wife.

BTW I totally have to tell you that you remind me of another knottie friend I made here from my month board.  My fiesty little gaming ginger  

jnkreager

I think you should do whatever makes you happy, but I will agree with a lot of the PPs: the time truly does fly by!  We got engaged at the beginning of July, 2010 and we still have tons to do for our December wedding.  I will be honest too; I might find it a bit odd if I was invited to a wedding reception when the couple had already been married for a couple of years unless they were planning on renewing their vowels too.  Other people might feel differently though.

I admit, it is easy for the budget to spiral out of control, but there are tons of ways to help keep it in line too. 

For example, I bought almost all of my centerpiece vases off of another bride for a great price, then shopped around for the bed price on silk orchids (ended up getting them for $1.50 a piece!) so our centerpieces are going to be waaaay cheaper than if we just went to Michaels one day and bought all of the supplies.

Another way to save big: cut the guest list.  We aren't inviting any kids that aren't family.  Sorry, but I am not going to pay $30 for one of my mom's, friend's kids to eat chicken fingers.  That can really add up!

Also, shop around for vendors.  I know that is the last thing you want to hear when you are already tired of planning, but looking at all of your options is crucial in order to find the best deal.  Lots of vendors have similar offerings but at very different prices.

Whatever you decide--good luck!

scuster09

I think that a lot of us who have been dating for a long time with a long time apart (dated 3 years, now living 2.5 apart), everyone considers this option. As a "survivor" (almost!) there is only two months until the wedding and I am so excited and never thought I would feel that way with all the stress of the wedding. Obviously, do whatever is best for you, but it does get better and you will get pumped. We are going to be engaged a total of 14 months, we have been through a job loss, hospital stays, my sister's cancer, etc during this time apart, but right now I wouldn't change it for the world because our big day will be here and our parents are paying for it (what the heck right?!). I never thought I would be able to plan the wedding of my dreams on $12000 and not lift a finger or do any DIY projects. 

Just a word of hope from someone else who "feels you". Good luck on your decision!

krazywizard13

Thanks Ladies! It's good to hear that the excitement does come a little closer to the actual day! I am feeling a little better about just going ahead with the wedding we have set up for 10-20-12, my next "freak-out" will be over decorations. I will have to post some pictures of the venue and get some insight on how I can DIY spruce it up!

Something that definitely keeps me motivated is our photographer, I know I booked a great one, and seeing his pictures makes me excited for our day.

Also, thinking about going dress shopping next weekened, it will be my first time out! I'm sure that more than anything else so far will be quite the wedding mood booster!

Thanks again for all the kind words and advice!