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Invite officiant to RD?

I am wondering whether or not to invite my officiant to our RD.  Neither myself nor my FI really know our officiant (we looked up non-denominational ministers in the area and decided to go with her).  I believe I saw somewhere that it is customary to invite the officant and their spouse to the RD, but would this just be weird since we don't really know her?  Any thoughts would be great..thanks! 

Re: Invite officiant to RD?

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    Santorini2011Santorini2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I personally think that it is ridiculous to be "obligated" to invite the officant to the reception or RD since you are paying them for their services.  I would not invite my florists to sit down and eat.  With that being said...it is customary and we will invite the priest and his wife to both.  I guess it is out of respect...
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    edited December 2011
    We're inviting our pastor to the RD and reception, however we know him.  My parents used to attend his church.

    IMO, the minister-for-hire probably doesn't expect to be invited since she knows that you're practically strangers to each other.  I would be more inclined to invite her to the RD (just because she's there for the rehearsal) but not the reception (because the reception is more personal/intimate).
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    edited December 2011
    If it's a minister for hire, I would say no.

    That being said, if you are going with a religious officiant, like one from a church, I think it's very appropriate to invite them to your RD and reception.  At our church, we don't "pay" them for their services; we give them a thank you donation, which most turn around and give some of it back to the church to help out with costs. 

    It's like this:  We had this talk with our pastor, who we are very close with.  His comment was this: While everyone else is there to enjoy the wedding, if you are getting married in a religious institution, he is there to enjoy your marriage.  He is the one that you will go to for help with problems in times of need.  He is the one that has a vested interest in seeing this last.  Most of your guests won't check up on your in your everyday life; he will.  Therefore, including him in something as small as the RD/reception is well worth it, IMO.  He's going to be there the rest of your marriage helping you out; start building/continuing that relationship now.
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    dibsontopdibsontop member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I don't think we'll be inviting our priest to the RD.  He's already told us that he really doesn't even come to the Rehersal.  Our church has someone that runs through everything with us instead.  The priest will show up just to collect our marriage license, check if we have last minute questions, and then disappear.  We will however be inviting him to the Reception.


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    edited December 2011
    Thanks for all of your responses.  Since our officiant is a minister for hire, we won't be extending an invitation to the reception.  We will probably invite her to the RD just to be polite, but I think we'll ultimately let my FMIL make that decision since she is hosting. 
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