WR mini check

RecoveringActor

I'm meeting with a graphic designer to talk about invitations... and I think I'm going to steal an idea that I got from my month board and instead of RSVP cards, I'm going to do RSVP postcards!  And I'm skipping the inner envelope as well.  It's an added expensive that frankly I think is silly and outdated and I'm trying to cut everywhere I can.  Saving 15 cents per RSVP is going to be a little help, too. 

What kind of things do you think I should have ready for this woman?  I have no idea how to word the invitation, because my parents are separated, and only my father is helping us financially.  And my mother is ADAMANT that my father's wife not be on the invitation. 

dibsontop

Would your mom not be happy with the use of "together with their parents"?

My husbands mom is deceased and we didn't want to upset his dad to see only his name on the invitation.  His dad wasn't helping us financially but my parents were.  We ran in by them first and they were perfectly fine with their names not being on the invites.

Ms.BriarRose

Go to Crane & Co. website.  They have an Invite wording tool there that will help you figure everything out.

If you dad is paying and he is married, the wife goes on.  Sorry, that's the correct ettiquitte.  Now, if he wasn't married, you could argue it (like I did), but with them being married, it's not fair to him or your stepmom.

Technically, since your mom is not contributing financially, you could say she shouldn't go on the invite either- but I know that's a no (from personal experience), so we have to figure out something else.  Though you could use this in your fight with her about the stepmom....we had to do something like that with my parents.  I hated playing them against each other, but sometimes you have to.

The only other thing you could do is the "Together with their families"  or "The families of" RA and Gzilla "request the pleasure of your company at their wedding" or something along those lines.

In terms of what to design your invites around, I am a more traditional girl.  I personally liked the inner envelope (and it helped solve issues of who was invited, bc I wrote out each name that was invited...we had lots of issues with people wanting to bring this person and that person, etc), but I am more traditional.  I did do away with the reception card (useless!) and I loved the idea of the post card! 

For the invite itself, I am a fan of "less is more".  I like a simple border, colored ink, maybe a motif or monogram.   I am not a fan of the ones with pictures or whatever on them (I personally think they look like children's birthday invites instead of a wedding invite, but that's just me). 

My suggestion would be to visit Crane and Co, William Arthur, Checkerboard, Carlson Craft...those are all the big invite companies, go to their websites and get ideas.  Also Wedding Paper Divas might give you a bunch of ideas as well; also head to Magnet Street to look at ideas.  Finally you go look on Etsy as well.  Oh, and check out Proud To Plan's blog (she designs paper products, and posts them on the blog).  Hope that helps some!

Ms.BriarRose

PS- I totally understand the fight between divorced parents.  My parents played the whole "I am paying for this, so I get this right and your father/mother doesn't" the whole engagement.  It came to a head about a month before the wedding, when DH finally had to step in and say, CUT IT OUT OR GET OUT.  Literally, in all caps because he yelled it at both.  They straightened up, though it was very much forced you could tell.

RecoveringActor

Oh my mother is totally the dramallama of the situation. I love her dearly but sometimes she needs to know when to back off. She told me once that if I invited my dad's wife, she wouldn't go. She got over that, but I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'll def check out those sites before I meet w the designer.

Ms.BriarRose

Let us know what you decide.  And if you ever need to vent to someone about the parents fighting (oh, wait til you hear about the fight a month before the wedding...I was ready to cancel the entire thing, I was so fed up with it all), I always have an ear for you!

Can't wait to see what you decide on for your invite design, too!  That was honestly one of my favorite parts; I actually am a huge fan of William Arthur now, because that company allows you to pretty much design your own invites without it costing an arm and a leg.  I loved picking out all the litle details

paprika28

definitely check out weddingpaperdivas. I get their emails and I've been pulling different ideas from their invites for my DIY invites.

I second (third?) 'together with their parents'.

Or you could totally just not even say anything about the parents. Ok it with your dad & future inlaws.... and just put something in the program.