Delaware

I love my FI...

So, my ex best friend's wedding is tonight.  This is the friend who we were inseperable, and was supposed to be in my wedding.  The entire first year of my engagement all I heard was how she was ticked that I was engaged and she wasn't since we had been together shorter than she and her BF (even though she was in London studying for her masters and he was in Philly).  So, when she came home for good in Aug 2009, he proposed at the airport.  I was the only one to know (beside her family), I was supposed to be there when it happened (something came up, so we drove up immediately after), and I was the only friend at her house the night of, except for her best male friend.
Well, then she tells me that she can't be in my wedding because she can't focus on my wedding.  Then she tells me that I can't be in hers.  Why?  Because if I got my surgery too close to her wedding date, I would be too concerned with healing and not enough with her wedding.  Of course, the fact that every girl she chose is at least 100 lbs lighter than me (at the time) might have played a role as well, but she won't admit to that.  I called her out on it all, how I was the only one who supported her while she was away, etc, etc, and she couldn't see the wrong doing.  So I ended the friendship- I couldn't compromise my morals to that point.
I feel sorry for her and her SO, in a way.  Because their relationshp needed a TON of work.  The fights they would get into in front of us and others would blow you away.  They were going to do pre-marital couseling, but when they heard the Catholic church (one of their many fights) required Pre-Cana and only that nothing more, they said they were not going to do anymore because that is what is required- even thought they needed it badly (one of the reasons I can't stand the Catholic Church's view on marriage).  FI and I have talked about how their marriage is never going to make it and the fact that when they divorce it will probably involve marriage.  I would never wish divorce on anyone, and that's why it makes it sad.

Anyway, it still hurts that her wedding is tonight and we weren't invited, weren't included in anything.  So FI tells me that we are going out tonight for dinner...to the Melting Pot!  He put money away specifically for a really nice dinner tonight, because no matter how much I won't compromise my morals, it still hurts to have a friendship I devoted myself to for many years end because of someone's attitude and ungratefulness.  But the fact that he did that, and thought about it before hand, well, that proves right there I got the pick of the litter :)

Re: I love my FI...

  • edited December 2011
    That's really thoughtful of your FI.  Hope you have a reservation!  And I hope you enjoy a nice, long dinner together.
  • JayElleJayCeeJayElleJayCee member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh my goodness Brit! That is a horrible story. I went through something like that (didn't ruin the friendship completely but changed it for a long time). I can sort of get what you are going through. I think the fact that your FI remembered and did this for you is simply amazing. What a thoughtful and caring guy. I must admit my FI would not have "pre-meditated" that. He would have offered if he knew how upset I was - but it would be the day of! lol.  I hope you have a great dinner tonight. Just remember that you didn't do anything wrong. While it is hard to lose someone you were once really close to - she is the one who ultimately lost. It is your gain because it sounds like you are better off without her. She seems very selfish. She's gonna look back one day and realize what a huge mistake she made. That will be on her.  xoxo for you!
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  • EiDuffyEiDuffy member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    sorry about the loss of your friend, but it sounds like your wedding & life will be better without someone so selfish in it...the melting pot was a terrific idea from your FI! It is my favorite restaurant b/c it is where FI and i had our first date and years later where he proposed  :) 
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  • edited December 2011
    It was awesome.  We have only gone a few times before, but each time we go we usually get the cheapest Big Night Out meal.  This time, he insisted we upgrade to the one with lobster.  Oh, it was sooooo good. 
  • edited December 2011
    Cool  Brian is a winner!  Glad you had a fun time!
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