XP: How are you splitting the holidays?

MrsBoss2012

Happy Monday! So with the holiday season approaching FI and I are working out where we will be spending Thanksgiving/Christmas He's from Dayton and I'm from Toledo and sometimes out of town families will host the holiday get togethers. We've been together for 7 years but only the last two years did we spend Thanksgiving together. I'm not sure if either of us 100% enjoyed spending it with someone else's family so this year we're taking the selfish route and going Splits-Ville for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm sorry I just want to be with MY family! But we had a serious talk about how things will change for next year and I've decided to give up my Christmas to him in exchange for Thanksgiving. It was pretty easy, Thanksgiving is bigger than Christmas for my family and vice versa for his.

So with all that being said.....anyone else have this dilemma? What are you doing for the holidays as you become a married couple?

sweetcarolanne

We've been chatting about this and trying to figure out how we'll handle it after we get married.  Since my family is in California, I usually go back for Christmas, but I've spent the past 2 Thanksgivings with him and his family here in Ohio.  We'll be doing the same for Thanksgiving this year, but my mom is coming to Ohio for Christmas this year (which we'll do at his parent's house as well).  It gets so expensive to fly home for the holidays and there's no telling how bad the weather will be, so I'm stuck on how to approach celebrating the holidays in future years.  For the record, FI has been home with me twice before, both coincidentally during Easter.  

jnkreager

FI and I have been together for almost five and a half years and holidays have always been hard for us to figure out where we are going.  Our parents live about a mile a part from each other, which is a blessing and a curse.  The nice thing is we both get an opportunity to spend the holidays with our families, but the hard part is they all expect us to be there with each of them since we are in town. 

Juggling 4 Thanksgivings in one day is not an easy task!  We normally each go to the first one separately and eat lunch.  After lunch, I meet him at his second Thanksgiving at his Grandmas for dessert.  Later on that night we go to my Dad's family's celebration. 

For Christmas we spend Christmas Eve with his parents, Christmas morning with mine, and then go our separate ways again for lunch.

Cassandra999

Last year (first holidays we were engaged) we decided to start alternating.  So Thanksgiving at my family's last year = Thanksgiving with his family this year.  Xmas with his family last year = Xmas with my family this year.   It's a 4 hr drive to Michigan for my family & most of his family is within an hour away from Cbus.

hansonam446

Well since we're in NC at the moment and his family is in SC we'll be doing Thanksgiving down there and Christmas in Ohio. His family isn't big on Christmas so it wasn't much of a debate.

FutureMrsG2013

we both love our families and i hate being away from him for a holiday so a couple years ago we decided to make a schedule. basically we switch families each thanksgiving ialthough this year were doing thanksgiving with both) and then we also switch christmas dinner...but we spend chirstmas with both families. for example...we will do thanksgiving with my family then christmas morning with his family then christmas dinner with my family. then next year we will switch if that makes sense 

BAYB153

Ugh the million dollar question! My family is from Akron, OH and his family is from Indianapolis, IN (5 hour drive)...we both live in Columbus....it's a complete nightmare usually, because his parents are very vocal and try to get their "way" alot of the times (meaning stay for 10 days), whereas mine are laid back and just want us to be happy and do what's most "convenient." I've decided that the only logical way is to do Thanksgiving in one city then Christmas at the other, (then the other city around New Year's while I'm still in school and have the luxury of not having to return to work after Christmas). Otherwise, it becomes a complicated mess. My cousins have went this route (they live in Chicago) and it has worked out smoothly.

[Deleted User]

Eh, I am kinda dreading the holidays to be honest. I hate to be Debbie Downer here, but it is the truth.

We will probably spend part of the day with his family (H's brother and GF are hosting ) and the other half of the day at my Grandma's with mine. I imagine Christmas will be similar to Thanksgiving as well.

tiffanydaniels

This is how I deal with the holidays! I schedule myself to work! 

I know that is awful, but I am suck a new years girl and so I work christmas eve and day so I can have new years off. New years is special to my FI and I because since we have started dating we through a little new years party and it is very important to us. (I am trying to justify not sounding so awful) 

it is definitely hard to split because my family lives here and brents family lives in Castilia, Oh, which is near Sandusky. Since we both normally work the day before and after thanksgiving my FI normally comes to my parents. And christmas he typically makes a trip up there sometime close to see them. We are really bad about both making a trip up there, because before I had school and work, but this year we will both probably go and spend some time with his family

MrsBoss2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-columbus_xp-splitting-holidays?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:112Discussion:2405b293-33d9-48db-affd-85a856b3c634Post:8fe77094-5bb7-4802-9b7b-f54cac386c6d">Re: XP: How are you splitting the holidays?</a>:
[QUOTE]T<strong>his is how I deal with the holidays! I schedule myself to work! </strong> I know that is awful, but I am suck a new years girl and so I work christmas eve and day so I can have new years off. New years is special to my FI and I because since we have started dating we through a little new years party and it is very important to us. (I am trying to justify not sounding so awful)  it is definitely hard to split because my family lives here and brents family lives in Castilia, Oh, which is near Sandusky. Since we both normally work the day before and after thanksgiving my FI normally comes to my parents. And christmas he typically makes a trip up there sometime close to see them. We are really bad about both making a trip up there, because before I had school and work, but this year we will both probably go and spend some time with his family
Posted by tiffanydaniels[/QUOTE]

LOL thats a funny cop out!

MrsBoss2012

jnkreager- I would think it would be easy to be 1 mile away! I could even work with 20. But I know what you mean. Its still the same situation. Being away from one house for too long and you feel you may miss something.

I guess none of us have it easy! But hey marriage is all about compromise, right.

Ajoyd

We usually alternate years too--last year we did Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his and this year we would alternate BUT we decided to invite the families to St. Louis for Thanksgiving with us at our new house. Kind of excited and dreading it all at once--it seemed like a good idea at the time!

It is really hard for me to give up Christmas with my family for Christmas with FI's family because his family celebration is just their immediate family. There is nothing wrong with that but on Christmas day my whole family including aunts, uncles, cousins gets together. Since I live in St. Louis now this is often my only opportunity to see some of them for the whole year. Plus my grandma is 93 and who knows how many more Christmases I will have with her.

Compromise is TOUGH!!!

csh96

I would be all for splitting the day between families or alternating holidays year after year.  However, H's family really isn't nearby and he has never spent the holidays with them too often.  Therefore, it's makes it easier.  Now we only split up the holidays based on if he is working (he's a PO) and then if we host versus me visiting family by myself.

Jelenny

Ugh this always gives me a headache.

H was told he had Thanksgiving weekend off then last week was told he had to work Black Friday - so really?  How can we get to WI for Thanksgiving weekend per our initial plans?  I am pushing to just stay home we have to board our foster dogs, Mack our newest rescue can't be boarded and is on strict kennel rest since he has a broken leg from getting hit with a semi - it's easier to stay home.

And we were not going to see my family when we went up there so for me it's a wash either way.  I have off he doesn't.

So far the Christmas plans are to stay put in Ohio which bums me out but also is nice since we had a year and half of running to Wisconsin for wedding planning.

for your pleasure meet Mack the foster that got hit by a semi:

AshLW

First of all, TOO IRONIC that this is on the board today because FI and I were just talking about this last night.

Let me start by saying, I dread the holidays for this exact reason.  Our families live 2 hours (his) and 1.5 hour (mine) from Columbus, and about 45 minutes apart from one another.  Neither of our families.... ok, ok, I'll just say it.... neither of our MOMS even give us the option of missing out and alternating holidays like many of the PPs have said, so it usually goes like this:

Thanksgiving morning, we drive 2 hours to go to his parents first.... spend 2-3 hours there, then drive 45 minutes down to my parents.... spend 2-3 hours there, then drive 1.5 hour back home.  Needless to say, it makes for a very very long day.  5 hours in a car to be with family for about 5 hours.

Christmas is the worst.  Christmas Eve, we have to drive to his parents for their BIG family Christmas dinner, then drive down to my parents for ours.  Then we usually spend the night at my parents, wake up and do our immediate family Christmas (gift exchange).  THEN, we drive BACK up to his parents for their immediate family Christmas.  And once that's all said and done, we drive back to Columbus. 

Did you guys all follow that?! 

MrsBoss2012

jelenny- poor Max!

Ash- Oh No! Your Christmas does sound pretty bad Well maybe you can talk to your mom's and explain to them that marriage is about compromise like one of the above posts said. Let them know it would probably be more enjoyable to spend one full day with them vs just a few hours splitting the two families.