Vent on being not engaged yet

MissOwl

I love this board. It makes me crazy though to see all of your plans and ideas. I just get so excited and I want to plan but I don't want to be 'that girl.'

BF has had the ring for 4.5 weeks now. He said he'd give it to me in a 'month or two' - his timeline, not mine - and I'm getting so antsy. He's been working a ton so I know I shouldn't even expect it to happen in the next several weeks, but I just want to get engaged!!

Did anyone else feel like this?

KellyRVT

Eric told me he asked my parent's permission at my brother's wedding June 5th, 2010. So I had a pretty good idea it was coming at some point. On my birthday he strung me along most of the day and then finally in the evening he proposed. He used my grandmother's ring which he had to secretly drive all the way to Cleveland to get from my family. That way, she could share this day with us (she passed away in 2006) and also allow me to pick out my own ring (which I loved- and we did together). 

Just hang tight girl. The worst part is knowing he has the ring. A girl I work with knows her bf has had the ring for almost 8 months, it's driving her insane especially with my wedding coming up. 

It will happen, and when it does it will be amazing  Just try to put it out of your mind so the moment will be that much more special when it happens.

Hang in there! 

nnoble4

Also, he may want to give you some sort of surprise! FI took me ring shopping, then a couple of weeks later told me not to expect it anytime soon because we can't afford it, then a few weeks later popped the question.  He wanted me to be surprised by it, even though we had talked about it a lot.  So....hang in there, let him do his proposal thing!

[Deleted User]

Aww, MissOwl, don't worry too much. He may be planning something special, you never know. Guys do things on their own time.

I knew my H was getting ready to propose even though he never asked my parents for permission or anything. He kept asking me things like "are you sure" and " do you want to be with me forever."  I knew then that he was close. We had talked about marriage, so I knew it was just a matter of time.

csh96

Awww, I agree with the other ladies.  I bet he is planning something really special.  Something you truly deserve.
I feel for you though.  It would be driving me nuts too.  My FI completely surprised me and I had no idea he had a ring or was planning to ask.  I guess there is a small benefit there.

TheBeckmeister

FI and I picked out my ring together.  He had to special order the setting, and when it came in, he realized that it wasn't what I wanted, so he ordered a different ring using the original diamond.  They sent him back the old setting (unbeknownst to me), so what did FI do?  He had the ring box sitting on his dresser, told me he had something to show me, pointed at the box and asked me to open it.  I was freaking out because it wasn't at all how I wanted him to propose.  Anyways, I opened the box, and it was just the empty setting!  The real proposal was much better :-)

Hang in there, I bet he's just up to something special for you!

MissOwl

thanks ladies. it's driving me nuts it's great to hear that others have been there though. you are wonderful!

kiyamurph

I agree with the others, I'm sure he's waiting for the "perfect" moment.  Like Missy said, guys do things on their own time.  Last year, FI was already living here in Washington state while I was finishing school in Cleveland and he came to Ohio for his mom's retirement party last March.  We had talked about getting engaged before, but he told me that he wasn't going to propose anytime soon because his mom's retirement party (he paid for the whole thing) cost much more than he expected.  I was bummed since I thought we would be engaged by the summer, but just figured he would propose by the end of the year.  Sure enough, when he came back into town for my graduation last May he ended up proposing at my graduation.  I was not expecting it at all since he said he wouldn't propose anytime soon, and here he was proposing 2 months later.  Turns out, he had had the ring since January and totally lied to my face so it would be a surprise!

So the point is, like everyone else said, just hang in there.  I know that's SO much easier said than done but at least you know it's actually going to happen and when it does it'll be a moment you'll never forget!  Can't wait to hear the good news!

kiyamurph

Oh and I meant to ask you, did you two pick the ring out together?  Do you already know what it looks like?

tiffanydaniels

this is funny I was just talking about it with my friend from work. Her Boyfriend has had the ring for 7 months, she helped pick it out and she knows it is coming. She is like freaking out because he told her it was going to March or May and that he wanted to be in OU, which is where they met. Well she is freaking out because this weekend is it because she works the last weekend of the month and she is really freaking. She feels the same way, she wants to start getting moving on the wedding planning and he is dragging his feet. Hang in there you will get it soon. I was nervous and antsy too and I only waited a month (and i thought that was long)

MrsBoss2012

I'm here to say hang in there like everyone else! I thought my day was coming but FI had pulled that same "Something came up and I just don't have the money to get the ring." I was bummed. Little did I know he already HAD the ring! We have known each other for 7 years so I have BEEN ready but there is still nothing like that moment even if you know its coming soon. Just sit back and relax. I was so antsy and ready to start planning but I was like a deer caught in headlights when it happened. I was too excited to plan anything for the first month. Now I'm so overwhelmed that it's really happening. So enjoy your peace of mind now!

MissOwl

you all are bringing smiles to my face. kiya, we did buy the ring together so i know what it looks like and I LOVE it. can't wait to get that thing on my finger.

thanks for all of the words of encouragement ladies. i am going to go into this weekend (and our date night tonight) with no expectations so i don't get so bummed when sunday rolls around and nothing has happened.

zen face on...

Belle0000

MissOwl, you have just described the EXACT situation that I'm in!  Literally, I feel like I'm reading about my life.  He's had the ring for a while now, we went and picked it out together, and we've already decided we want a wedding next summer.  I know it's coming eventually, but he said he doesn't want to do it on a random day.  But we don't have anything "special" coming up any time soon until my birthday in July.  What makes it worse is that he originally planned it for Memorial Day weekend, and long story short, I ruined his plan  

I'm really stressing about it because he doesn't want to do any wedding planning yet, and I'm afraid venues will be booked, etc.  And I'm totally bummed I won't be doing Running of the Brides tomorrow

So don't worry, you're not the only one who feels the way you do!

osuchica85

The more you freak out about it the more difficult it will be for your boyfriend to suprise you. You don't want to be like the girl I work with whose proposal was having the ring handed to her because she kept nagging about getting it when she knew he had it. I mean what fun is that? It's hard enough for your boyfriend to make it fun if you already know about the ring so give him a break.

Just so you know....I never knew my fiance had a ring so I don't know what you guys are going threw exactly...but I have been dating my fiance for nearly 9 years now. I know how annoying it can be when a "special" day goes by wondering where's that ring! Just know he might not be waiting for a birthday, or something like that...he might just be waiting till you least expect it.

We finally got engaged one day when I picked up an extra shift at work. I came home in time for the iowa/osu game. I was busy paying attention to the game and my fiance was busy doing other stuff. (should have been a tip off)...appearently he had fed my dog like 10 times during the game trying to get her to ring the bell to go outside (to get me outside). It finally worked. I took her outside and there was random roses all over the yard/trees. I go back inside because I was confused by all the roses and there my fiance was on one knee with rose petals all over, our song on, champagne and candles lit.  Looking back...I am soooooooooooooooooo glad he didn't do thanksgiving, christmas, etc.....it was a random day but it was such a surprise I had no mental expectations. I loved it.

Oh and another thing. I guess my fiance originally wanted to do it several months earlier on our anniversery but it took several months to get the ring in due to being a special order in platinum. So there could be a million reasons for why he doesn't want to propose yet....and the reason may not be in his hands.

I hope it happens for you all soon.

nannerswolf

I had to wait 4 months knowing he had the ring and it was driving me bonkers. It was very stressful because everything he did could have been "the surprise moment" and I got very sad everytime it wasn't. We'd been dating for over a decade by that point, and he'd made me very happy when he bought the ring. For four months, however, I went to sleep every night worrying that he was having second thoughts. Later, he told me he just wanted it to be a creative proposal and he was having trouble coming up with any ideas that were "good enough". Eventually we went hiking at Highbanks, I spent the whole time thinking "this could be it" and he didn't make a move. Finally, when the park was closing, I saw a big buck and was trying to get a picture of it. I turned around and there he was, on one knee. Apparently he had been trying to avoid other hikers all day and hadn't seen the opportunity.

While I know that it is SOOOOOO stressful waiting for it and worrying and wondering what he is thinking, once it is on your finger, it is all worth it. The person you want to be with most in the world isprobably just waiting for what he thinks is the the perfect moment. Good luck!

christie311

oh yeah.... totally feel ya on that one. i had to get his sister involved to speed up the process HA!!