I'm gonna kill her!

I swear my mom is trying to sabotage the wedding!! We got engaged in June, and ever since then it's been so incredibly difficult to get any money out of my mom (after she told me she and my dad would cover the cost of the wedding). It's been like pulling teeth to get deposits paid before things have become unavailable. Now, the bridal shop is telling me I need to order my dress sooner rather than later (the dress SHE told me was perfect), and she tells me that she can't pay for it now. Now, I completely understand that money isn't the easiest thing to come by these days, but COME ON! Through the entire wedding planning process it's been "oh, don't worry, we can afford a nice caterer", and then "well we can't give you that money now" after I've negotiated everything with the caterer. Or "you need to cut costs wherever you can" but "you really need to have the best invitations". I'm pulling my hair out and screaming! I'm so incredibly sick and tired of trying to deal with my mother going back and forth on everything, and it's so stressful to be trying to plan things and then not be able to get the money for it.

Now, FI wants to basically tell my parents that they're welcome at the wedding, but that we're done dealing with them. I really don't want to do that because I do love my parents a lot, and I've always been really close to them, but it's SO frustrating trying to logic with the woman! The worst part is that we've never gotten a solid number of how much money they can afford to give us, which just makes it harder to try to figure out what we can get. I'm cutting corners everywhere I can, trying to reduce the cost, and we've had to ask FI's parents for help too. It just sucks so much!

Re: I'm gonna kill her!

  • liz745liz745 member
    edited December 2011
    wow. your parents dont HAVE to give you any money. They are being very generous and kind by giving you anything and all you can do is complain? You could pay for the wedding yourself then you wouldnt have to worry about the great burden of your parents paying for it.
    If your parents are paying for it they should be a part of every budgeting decision because its thier money. Do you really want your parents to pay more than they can afford for the wedding. Your FI's suggestion is rude and immature. If you want to take on the finances then fine but you dont have to be done with your parents because they couldnt float the bill for YOUR wedding.
    If I were you I would try being grateful and I would stop making fincial decisions without making sure I had the money for it.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree that your parents don't have to give you money for your wedding.  But this situation sounds tough since they have offered to give it to you.  Personally, I would sit down with your parents and ask them what their thinking they can contribute (if they can at all) and try to get  a solid number from them.
    I wouldn't go with what your FI says... They're your parents and there's no need for you to burn bridges with them over this.
  • tayleytayley member
    edited December 2011
    I'm VERY grateful that they're helping out, because you're right, they don't have to help at all. I don't mean to sound like I'm not, and come off as a spoiled brat. The frustration is that they've made it very clear to me that they will pay for everything, but then when it comes time to pay for it, they don't want to (after approving a cost and every little detail about it).

    We spoke with my parents and came to a better understanding, and now we have a better grasp on what we have to work with. There's no way I'd ever shut my parents out because, as I mentioned before, I'm very close to them. I apologize for sounding childish and complaining...I really just needed to vent, and I clearly didn't explain the situation very well.
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