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Nebraska-Omaha

MIA BM

One of my bridesmaids joined the peace corps right before I got engaged.  I asked her to be a part of my day and now she might now be able to because of the whole "living in another country thing".  I will keep her as a bridesmaid because she is that person in my life but how far do I take that?  I want her to still be helpful but that seems out of the question.  Also how do I include her in the wedding so that others still know she is a bm?  Any ideas?

Re: MIA BM

  • lindy.linderlindy.linder member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If she is in another country DURING the wedding then you can include her in the program as a bridesmaid (I would also send her a program when all is said and done).If she will be at the wedding but not here before the wedding I do not see a problem. NONE of my bridesmaids are helping me plan (and I could care less). Your fiance is supposed to help you plan. Being upset that your BM is doing something wonderful for the world because she can't help you stuff envelopes or whatever else seems a little strange. You can have her picture on your wedding website as a bridesmaid that will help people know but other than that I am not sure what you mean.
  • HuskerfanzHuskerfanz member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Congrats to your BM!  That sounds like a great opportunity.Will she be out of the country for the actual wedding or just prior?  Not sure what you mean by "be helpful."  It's an honor to be a BM for someone and the only responsibilities are to buy the dress and show up.  Anything else is considerate of the BMs and is really going above and beyond.If she is out of the country for the wedding, you could include her in the program and then others will know she's a BM.
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  • RokkanenRokkanen member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sorry I think I am being misunderstood.  She is wanting to be a part of the wedding like asking if she can do something while she is over there.  I don't expect anyone to DO anything for me.  I am looking for ways to involve her not ways to keep her busy!
  • HuskerfanzHuskerfanz member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If she has offered then that is a different story.  Sorry, I didn't mean to come off wrong but on the national boards there are quite a few brides who treat their party as servants.This may be a stupid question but will she have internet?  If so, she could help find inspiration photos for you or she could look for pictures of BM dresses she likes.  The other BMs can include her on the planning for any pre wedding activities even though she won't be there.  That's all I have off the top of my head but I'll keep thinking.
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    TTC #1 since 08/11 IUI#2 = BFP!
  • angieleedangieleed member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I had a similar situation and I just told her that what I really needed was her support. We emailed and skyped a lot when I was stressed out and she was my voice of reason. That was the most helpful thing she could have done for me given the situation. Other than that and looking at pictures on the web...there really isn't a whole lot she can do...and she needs to know that is OKAY with you!
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