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Iowa-Des Moines

So ready to elope!

I knew when I started planning this wedding that things would be difficult, but I had NO idea! First off, I really don't get along with my family. My mother is in her own little world and I have 3 "father figures" and each of them has a rather large family (not to mention my mother's). My fiance' and I are both in college and we're going to be in school for a VERY long time (he's in Paralegal studies and wants to go on to law school and I'm trying to get into an herbal sciences program in Seattle to continue later with Naturopathic Medicine). Well, my mother has not helped at all with the wedding planning and didn't even help with the engagement party until the night before when we had no food and no plans. I met my father when I was 16, but my sister's father has been in my life since I was 8. But my current stepdad was my father's friend 23 years ago and I've known him my entire life. Now all of my family members have been asking who's giving me away and quite frankly I've never liked the idea of being "given away" for my wedding. My sister's dad and I have NEVER been close even though he's been in my life so long (in fact, he talks crap behind my back to other family members) and yet everyone on his side is giving me a guilt trip to let him walk me down the aisle!I want to just toss everything I've done so far and start all over. My fiance' and I have never wanted a big wedding and would be just as happy meeting with our very close friends and our officiant to do the ceremony. Has anyone else felt like this?Also, our wedding date was set for May 1st, 2010, but I'm wanting to get married sooner if we do cut down the wedding plans and set our date for March 21st, 2010. We're planning to move to Seattle that August and we both agree it would be wiser to be married for a few months before we move so we can save up for an apartment and stuff. I was never one as a girl to dream about my wedding day and I've been engaged before and I remember feeling this same stress then from the lack of support in my family. Has anyone else dealt with a lack of support, financial or otherwise, from your family? What did you do.Oh- and sorry for the long post! I just don't know what to do anymore.

Re: So ready to elope!

  • edited December 2011
    Well, due to some recent issues with financial aid for school, we have decided to elope this coming Wednesday. Surprisingly, it wasn't at all hard to plan. We haven't told our parents yet, but we plan to tomorrow. Sadly, I know that my parents aren't really going to care. We filed our paperwork already and it's going to be legal tomorrow so we can do our ceremony on Wednesday. I was really nervous at first going in there (but FI was cool as could be and looked at me funny for being nervous- I still don't understand it) but then I saw my new name on the paperwork and I became as giddy as a schoolgirl. Then I made a quick call to our reverend and she had no problem with the last-minute plans. So, next week I will finally be Mrs. Montague!
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