Iowa-Des Moines

Frustrated

I am starting by saying this... I love both of my sisters and wouldn't trade them for all the gold in the world.  I told my older sister, "Sami," in the beginning that she could be in charge of decorating (along with my mom) because I could care less about that stuff (it's not my thing and it's not that important in my perspective), but I told her there are some things that I do want.  Our wedding is just over 2 weeks away (Sept. 4th).  Monday my sis came down to help my mom with decorations, and apparently the only reason she wanted me around was so that I could watch her daughter for her.  I told her some things that I wanted (my Wizard of Oz lights and ISU cyclone painting I made for my soon to be hubby for x-mas, "Nick").  She told me "No, it will clash with the theme (fall harvest theme) and end up looking like junk."  She ended up getting very frustrated with me (and I with her).  I broke down and started bawling cuz my stress level is so high with trying to find a job, the wedding, trying to get our house more livable so that we can move in BEFORE the wedding, and I even tried explaining that it has all gotten WAY more complicated than Nick and I wanted it to be. (our goal is just for everybody to have fun and celebrate).  She bitched at me saying, "Well didn't you know it was going to be very stressful when you chose to get married this date...blah blah blah."  (The house was suppose to be done in Dec. but weather has been crummy, and Sept. 4th was this cousin's b-day whom was like a brother to him which was why we picked the date.)  That just made me furious and made me mad that she won't even listen to me.  She also said that I had said in the beginning that I want my wedding to be better than her wedding.  I tried telling her that I never said that because 1st of all I could care less because I'm not trying to compete with anybody.  She had an elegant country wedding, and we just want a simple country wedding, and 2nd, she's the person that said she wanted my wedding to be better than hers. She also went off on me saying that was is important to me for this wedding (like the buns cuz the food is important) isn't important, not to her anyways.  She said that the decorations are very important.

I called my other sister, "Tessi," to tell her about it and ask for advice cuz I always have a high regaurd for her opinion.  Long story short she gave up telling our mother "no" all the time more than 2 weeks before their wedding, and she just let Mom do w/e she wanted.  She said I should do the same thing, and if those things I want to have (that Sami says no to) are something I really do want to have then I should just go out to the barn (where reception is) 1st thing in the morning to hang them up and not make a big deal about it.  So that's what I'm trying to do... let Mom and Sami do whatever they want and hang up those 2 things that morning or night before.  After all, the most important thing is that Nick and I are getting married.

Anways... I'm trying not to think about it too much.  Has anybody else been in a situation like this?  How did you handle it?

Re: Frustrated

  • medusia00medusia00 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Sounds like my family!!

    There are a couple of things, you said that you didn't really care about the decorations, So let them do what they want to a point. If you want those 2 things at your wedding the bring them yourself. It is all about you and your FI getting married and if you want to have some different things at your wedding do it!! It doesn't all have to be about the "theme" its about you two together so make it happen!!

    My FMIL did the same thing, and is still doing the same thing but I've just kind of brushed it off and done what I wanted. I talked to my FI about it, and now we're good to go!
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