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Iowa-Des Moines

OK, I'll admit it... kind of bitchy-- guest list issues.

SO.... FI and I grew up in the same small town so we have a lot of overlaping guest. He and I went through our town's section of the phonebook and added everyone we wanted from town to our guest list. We then sent it off to his parents to have them add their family/friends. When it came back to us there are about several couples that they have added from our town that I really do not want to invite. We grew up with the children of these couples and they (the children) have been married in recent years and we were not invited. I'm not upset about this or holding it against them. It is just the facts. We shouldn't have been invited to their weddings... we aren't friends with them. In a small town it gets to be a fine line of who you invite and if you invite this person than you have to invite that person, etc. I feel these people would be lower on the "chain" than some of the people we have left off and can't afford nor want to invite the whole town. And, personally, a couple of the ladies I really don't even care for. His parents are aquantences with them (and every other person in our 1,200 person town) but probably haven't done more than say hi to in several years. How do I explain that does not necessitate a wedding invitation??
~basquing in the wedded bliss~

Re: OK, I'll admit it... kind of bitchy-- guest list issues.

  • edited December 2011
    Well, if you and your FI are paying for the wedding you have final say on your guest list. Only invite who you want to share your day with. If your parents are helping pay you may need to make some, but not all concessions. Just tell her that because of your budget or space restrictions that some people are not invited off the list that she added.
  • abja45abja45 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    First of all you are not being bitchy. You make very valid points in your post- I would just go to the future in-laws, with your soon-to-be husband, and simply explain what you said above.  There might be a few people on the list that they added that they have good reason to want at the wedding (ie starting doing social things with a new couple that you guys didn't know about).
    In the end be firm with the fact that you want to be surrounded by people that love and support you- and not just a group of people that are in the same town that are included by default.
    Good Luck.

  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_iowa-des-moines_ok-ill-admit-kind-of-bitchy-guest-list-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:80Discussion:283bfd89-c8dc-427a-a9d1-431a485b3d14Post:335736d2-cbf0-473c-b9a8-9fb5f5804577">Re: OK, I'll admit it... kind of bitchy-- guest list issues.</a>:
    [QUOTE]First of all you are not being bitchy. You make very valid points in your post- I would just go to the future in-laws, with your soon-to-be husband, and simply explain what you said above.  There might be a few people on the list that they added that they have good reason to want at the wedding (ie starting doing social things with a new couple that you guys didn't know about). In the end be firm with the fact that you want to be surrounded by people that love and support you- and not just a group of people that are in the same town that are included by default. Good Luck.
    Posted by abja45[/QUOTE]

    Agree with this. Good luck!
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  • panda10panda10 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would just tell them that you can only invite a certain number, and they should make an "A" list and a "B" list. Or make your own. That's what we did, and it worked out for us. Or as long as you know that these people arn't great friends with your parents, just tell them that you were maxed out # of invites and you had to make a cut. 
    Good Luck!!

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