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Rehearsal Dinner Invitations and Thank You Notes-Help!

My fh doesn't think that it is necessary to send out an invitation for the rehearsal dinner, and that word of mouth will be fine.  I disagree because the priest and his wife need to be included, and I think it's just good manners although we're a laid back group.  Did you send them?  Also, since I will likely get my way and we'll do one, should I ask my fmil to use the same stationer as the wedding invitation?  I would like it to match, but I wasn't sure what other do.  I would plan on paying for them since it was my idea and it's important to me.  FH thinks I'm being overly critical.  I already have three designs going between my 1. STD and aunt's shower, 2. other shower (that fmil/fsil are throwing me) and 3. invitations, so I really don't want to introduce a fourth.  Did the rehearsal dinner invites match your wedding invite stuff?  Also, were your thank you notes for your shower different than your wedding thank you notes?  If so, did you tie them in with the shower invite?

Re: Rehearsal Dinner Invitations and Thank You Notes-Help!

  • edited December 2011
    It is really not necessary or required to send out invites to the RD, but many people chose to do so. My IL's hosted ours, so they sent out invites simply so they could have a head count. Many people just chose to spread the word via mouth. It is really up to whoever is hosting/paying.

    The RD invites do not need to match your wedding invites. My MIL got our RD invites at Party City. They said you are invited to our RD on the front and she filled in the details of date, place, time, etc. Not a big deal.

    My bridal shower TY's did match the invites. The hostess was kind enough to buy the matching TY's when she purchased the invites and give them to me. If not, I would have just bought a pack of blank TY notes and done them that way.

    Our wedding TY notes did not technically match our invites either, but they did in my mind. Our wedding invites were silver hearts and our TY notes had Thank You written in silver on the front and blank inside.

    I think you are way overthinking much of this and need to chill. If you can get matching invites and TY's without being too much of a hassle and causing too much stress between you & your FI, then fine. But if you can't then just pick any invites and TY's. The important thing is that you write the TY's in a timely manner after the wedding. People are just going to acknowledge them and throw them in the trash anyway.

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  • csh96csh96
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am sending RH dinner invites to get a head count but they do not match my invitations.  I wanted them to less formal and more fun.  Plus I got them for free from Vista print.  The colors are in line with the wedding colors however.  

    I haven't purchased any thank you cards yet.  I DIY'd my invitations so I doubt they will match.  My invitations are ivory so I will likely just get some simple ivory thank yous.  I also like the idea of the photo thank you cards for the wedding thank yous.
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  • edited December 2011
    I would say send RD invites, even it is casual. We received an e-vite RD invite once and thought it was a little inappropriate. And if you decide to send invites but your RD host wasn't planning on sending them out, you should probably OK it with them and offer to pay for the invites.

    Did you send them?  Also, since I will likely get my way and we'll do one, should I ask my fmil to use the same stationer as the wedding invitation? We sent RD invites because we felt we needed to, we were inviting all out-of-town family in addition to usual RD guests, and our RD was a little more formal. My father-in-law (who helped pay for the dinner) doesn't live in the country so I was happy he let me have full control of the dinner. For the dinner invites, I used the same stationer as our wedding papers.  However, it didn't match our wedding invites and I didn't want them to. The wedding, bridal shower, and RD are three separate events and I wanted to distinguish them from each other. 

    Did the rehearsal dinner invites match your wedding invite stuff?  Also, were your thank you notes for your shower different than your wedding thank you notes?  If so, did you tie them in with the shower invite? Our RD invites looked totally different from our wedding invites. Our RD was at DeepWood, so to go with the restaurant theme I found some faux bois beige paper, added a layer of shimmery emerald green backing, and added a little tan card with info for the rehearsal (only included that card for people who need to be there). My mom used the same stationer as our wedding invites for the bridal shower invites and she decided to use similar colors to our wedding for my shower (our wedding colors were graphite and Tiffany Blue/aqua), so my shower invites coordinated but had a different design. She told me she went to the same stationers, so I went there and got my thank you's to coordinate with the shower invites.  Our wedding invites were different (and I had already picked them out prior to people planning a shower), and our wedding thank you's coordinated with our wedding invites. 

  • BCsGalBCsGal
    edited December 2011
    My MIL sent out RD invitations, so get a head count, and relay the information, and most RDs I have been to, I have received an invitation.  She made them in Vistaprint, and they didn't match the wedding very much, which was fine.  They just had some of the same colors.
    My shower invitations did match my shower theme, just because my sister got them for me.  I did not use them all, so I can use them for other things (they don't mention bridal anything on them).
    We used different ones for the wedding, just because my shower ones were pink.  We got ones very similar to MissySue's - they looked good, and were inexpensive.   I am all about having stuff match, but in this case, they really are just going to be read, and then probably tossed.  I had spent so much money on other stuff,  that as long as they look nice, that worked for me. 
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  • edited December 2011
    My FMIL and fiance didn't want to send them either but I did just because I wanted people to have something more formal for the times.  So we compromisd on doing e-vites, this way we saved money and didn't have to worry about it matching our invitations or anything.  It was a little different for us because we don't need an exact headcount since we're doing a backyard bbq but I still think evites were the best way for us to go. 
  • AlliD11AlliD11
    edited December 2011
    I'm planning on sending out RD invites however they aren't going to match my invitations.  Our rehearsal dinner is going to be less formal and more casual so I don't want them matching exactly but will keep with our wedding colors! I am sending them only to get a head count.
    If your RD is less formal, you could always think about doing an evite? Just a thought!
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