Time went by

Starqueg

Back in July, I realized that we were 18 months from the wedding and that I should start actually thinking realistically about planning, instead of just looking at pretty pictures.  Six months have gone by, and nothing has really be decided on yet.   My finace is less than helpful, my MOH is going through relationship issues and isn't all that excited to help right now (or fun to be around), and I feel like I'm doing it all on my own.  I need to make appointments with caterers for my future MIL and I to meet with, I have a dress appointment next week, and that's about it.  There's a local florist that does wedding flowers, so we'll probably just use them, but I need to go talk to them.  I have no idea about how to find good music, or even if we want a dj or band.  I'm overwhelmed by the amount of time and effort I'm going to be spending to plan our wedding.  When my semester starts up again at the end of the month, I'll have no time to do any of this and it'll all have to wait until the summer, when I'll still be busy with classes.

[Deleted User]

It looks like you've got a good start but it honestly sounds like you're not that excited about your wedding!  My groom isn't that helpful either... but that's how I prefer it, I think normally most of the planning and finer details are left to the bride to be.

Band or DJ often times depends on your budget and what you imagine at your wedding.  If you already have a date I assume you have a venue, so start with their recommended vendor list and start attending local bridal expos, that's another great way to get information.  They can be overwhelming but try to enjoy it!

Starqueg

I'm not excited about the recpetion, but I can't wait to be married.  The rest of it just seems silly.  All those details don't matter to me.  My dad is paying for most of this, and if he was willing to, I'd be asking for a planner so someone else can do all this work for me.  However, he already told me that a planner is not something he'd pay for.  I'm trying to be excited, but I'm more overwhelmed than anything right now.

heroeswearbrown

My groom has too many opinions. haha.
 I get where you're coming from though. Although I am excited about planning the wedding, I'm definitely in the realm of "no one else seems to care." MOH is my older sister who is still single and bitter about that, so I'm trying to keep her feelings in mind, and mom is just kinda nonchalant about the whole planning process. long story short, I'm going to a wedding show by myself on Saturday. Just a little depressing. Oh well.

I would just suggest focusing on things about it you do like, maybe? Like maybe find one aspect of it you can get really excited about and throw your heart into that, and then maybe the rest of things will just stem from there? Like I was really excited about dress shopping. And once I found my dress, I was excited to find my shoes, and my jewelry, and then that made me excited about the bridesmaids dresses which then got my excited about the venue...etc...does that make sense? It may not work for you, but it's just a suggestion.

I hope you find something that gets you excited.

Starqueg

I'm excited about the dress.  I can't wait to go shopping on Monday with my dad and MOH. 
I think part of my issue is more stressing about my MOH and her attitude.  She's going through a lot right now with her 3 year old, custody fight, break up (not from his father), father's gf just had a baby, and she talks about all of this, a lot, to anyone who will listen.  I love her, but her drama is pulling me down.  I'm afraid she's going to monopolize the dress shopping time by telling my dad all of her drama, or retelling it all to me.  He won't want to hear it, and she'll get annoyed when he tells her that (because nothing in the world is as important as her kid) and it'll be a pain.
The food will be fun when we're at the point of tasting and planning a menu, as opposed to calling caterers and making appointments.  I think I've already picked out the paper stuff (invites and whatnot), but weddingpaperdivas is a regular time-sink for me.  I think when things start getting real I'll be more excited.  Listening to bands/djs/musicians will be fun.  Picking my fiance's three piece suit will be great.  It's just all abstract right now, and that's not fun for me.

Invol

You're still a year out! You have so much time and I think for people who haven't recently been involved in a wedding it's hard for them to imagine why it would take a year of planning.If it's still abstract to you and you've started planning, for them it must seem like only a cloud of an idea.

enid08

Maybe you should very carefully and gently ask if you MOH would like to back out of the wedding? She might be grateful to be able to focus on her stuff, and you could do things with the rest of your wedding party. I guess it depends on if that would be hurtful to her or not. It's just a thought.

Starqueg

She'd kill me if I asked her that.  I don't need her help planning anyway, although she had been all gung ho about it when I first started planning.  My fiance and I are making good progress with the planning, so all is good at this point.