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January 2013 Weddings

problem bridesmaid!! help

so i have had a problem with a bidesmaid of mine. we got engaged about a year ago and as soon as we picked the date i asked my girls to be bridesmaids so they all had about 10-11 months notice. for simplicity sake lets call her bridesmaid "A". Me and "A" were really close but as soon as i asked her to be a BM she fell of the face of the earth. in the last 10 months or so i have gotten ahold of her mabey 4 times. its starting to get to when the girls need to put their half of the money for thier dresses down ( i paid the 1st half they are all custom their half is $75) and again i can not get ahold of BM "A". my bridal shower was yesterday and she didnt show up and when i called  to see if she was ok there was no answer. she posts a gazillion posts to Facebook from her phone everyday so i know she has it on her. On top of this it was originally her or my sister as a BM. At this point i would much rather have my sister at my side then BM "A".  is it aproperate to ask her to step down. im super stressed and frustrated. thanks for listening :)

Re: problem bridesmaid!! help

  • I would definitely ask her to step down, and if you dont get a response right away I would consider her dropped out. I'm sorry that happened to you. Weddings seem to really seperate the true friends from fair weather friends, don't they?
  • yeah most deffinatly! i feel so bad for my sister, but i know she will just love to end up in the wedding :)
  • It's kinda crappy to b-list someone, and ettiquette wise, it's not entirely couth to replace a BM. It could serve as hurtful on both sides. The replaced BM may think "Okay, so that's how much of a friend I am to her, I'm replaceable." and your sister may think "So I'm just the next best option."

    Uneven sides are uneven sides.

    That being said, I'm not going to tell you you can't replace this MIA bridesmaid. I understand your frustration. I have one BM who I can rarely get a hold of, but that's just the way she is. it is no different than any other time.

    I might try to go visit this BM in person, not just on the phone. Try to figure out why she's dropped off the face of the planet before kicking her out. I understand she hasn't been responsive, but you never know.
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