Extreme hairstyles

heidijo43

So, this is about my MOH.
She is a very sweet girl. She's been my best friend for 10 years. She is currently going to college at St. Cloud State. Let's just say, since she's been there, she's embraced her inner hippie. She has deadlocks. Aside from being a little smelly, I think they suit her well.

However, my mother hates them. She has asked me repeatedly if my MOH will still have them when my wedding comes around. She thinks that they will ruin my pictures, and that the family will be put off by it. I can understand her concerns to a point, but at the same time I wouldn't feel right asking my friend to change her hair for my wedding.

Any ideas on this one?

wittyschaffy

Just remind your Mom that you didn't pick your bridal party because of how they looked, but because of what those people mean to you.  The way she does her hair is immaterial.  In my opinion, it is really no different than your mom being upset that you chose someone with a pixie cut to be in your wedding when she thinks everyone should have an updo.  Your bridal party selection is about you and your hubby's desire to be surrounded by supportive people who are important members of your lives - not because they're going to be "pretty" for your pictures. 

And if that doesn't work, perhaps a "mom, this is how she is and I'm wouldn't dream of asking her to change a thing about herself for my wedding so you need to stop asking me about it" conversation is in order.

kaylas16

I agree with PP.  It's about having people that you love and that support you around you on your wedding day!  Maybe explain to her that her hairstyle doesn't bother you at all so she (your mom) should not be concerned about it either!  Also, I think you mentioned that your wedding is going to be in 2012? Thats quite a bit of time and she could have a completely different hairstyle by then!  Oh parents....

KittE7

ditto PPs...
also, I don't think that her dreads will look so crazy in your wedding pictures.  The WP will probably wear coordinating outfits, putting the focus on the bride & groom anyway.  And even if not, it'll just be a nice picture, a moment in time, of you and your friends on your wedding day.
Plus, the photos with the WP will likely be separate from the smaller family portraits, so you can remind your mom of this if she's still concerned.

hkiesling

Ditto pps.  You wouldn't ask a bm to lose weight to be in your wedding, would you?  Her hair is obviously an expression of her personality and she would likely be insulted if you asked her to change them (it's not as simple as just combing them out for the day and putting them back the next day).  Plus, I think people like Crystal on American Idol have shown that they can still look nice.

maybe984

I've seen some really cute updos done with dreads. Politely tell your Mom to shove it and spend a couple hours with your friend playing with her hair and seeing what ways you can find to style her hair. Plus, as one PP mentioned... your wedding is a ways off-- your friend may not even have the dreads by then.

I Want Cake

I agree with PPs, that it's about who you want to stand up for you, not what they look like.  Everyone is different and nobody is perfect.  If it were my mom, I wouldn't even entertain the subject when she brings it up.

Also, as Maybe984 said, dreds can look pretty cute in updos, or even just pulled into a ponytail or bun.  Just don't ask this BM to be the only one with an updo if others can do their hair like that, too.  It'd look too obvious that you're trying to hide her dreds.

[Deleted User]

I think that if your mother has a problem with it, your mother can bring it up with your MOH. If she isn't about to do that then she can keep quiet about it.

heidijo43

Thank you. I think you're all completely right about this. You just reaffirmed the way I was feeling about it. She'll be done with college this year and there is a good chance that she would take them out when she searches for jobs and whatnot.
She knows that my mom hates dreadlocks, and she's actually brought it up to me. I told my MOH that I care more about having her there than what her hair looks like. I told my mom that it is not something I'm concerned about and reminded her that she has been a great friend to me for years and that no one else could fill that spot up there by my side. Even if some of my older guests don't find them tasteful, I'm sure that it won't be a big enough issue to put a damper on my day.