Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul

groom's parents paying for more than bride's parents

My fiance and I, my parents, and my fiance's parents are all chipping in on the cost of the wedding, but the groom's parents are paying significantly more for the wedding than anyone else. How do I handle who is hosting the reception? The bride's parents traditionally host, but they're not contributing as much to the cost of everything. If both sets of parents host, who makes a welcoming speech at the reception? Are the groom's parents still expected to pay for a groom's dinner on top of the majority of the cost of the reception? How do I handle this situation without making my parents feel badly that they weren't able to pay for more?

Re: groom's parents paying for more than bride's parents

  • First, the groom's parents should not be expected to pay for anything, so I wouldn't try to expect them to pay for the RD especially if they are already graciously hosting part of the reception.

    I don't see anything wrong with both sets of parents saying something at the reception, if they want to. If you are worried about the wording on invitations, I would probably put "Together with their families, Jane and John invite you... " etc.
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  • Yep - "Together with their parents" would satisfy.  My Dad and my FIL both said something at our reception, even though my ILs weren't technically hosting.  When it all comes down to it, it doesn't really matter who contributes what.  If you're really worried about it, have them cut a check for what they want to contribue (note that I said want, not are required) and pay the bills out of the money and then nobody knows who paid for what.  
  • edited March 2012
    I would also do "together with their parents" on the invites. Both my dad and FIL gave a short toast at the reception, which is totally acceptable, even if they haven't contributed towards the wedding cost. Think of it as a way to welcome you (or your new H) into the family...not a reward for ponying up $$.
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  • In Response to Re: groom's parents paying for more than bride's parents:
    I would also do "together with their parents" on the invites. Both my dad and FIL gave a short toast at the reception, which is totally acceptable, even if they haven't contributed towards the wedding cost Think of it as a way to welcome you (or your new H) into the family...not a reward for ponying up $$.
    Posted by trixie549
    This is an excellent point :-)
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  • Thanks for the tips on the wedding invites. We did already go with both set of parents' names on the invite :)
    I'm still wondering how I should handle the groom's dinner. I think my fiance's parents are assuming they will host and pay for that, but I'm kind of uncomfortable with them doing so after helping out so much already. Do I just get over it?
  • I am in the exact same situation with my FI's parent contributing more than my parents (although we ourselves are paying for 75% of the wedding costs).  I also felt that it was awkward to ask about how to handle paying for the rehearsal dinner. In the end we just brought it up to them by thanking them for their contribution and asking if that contribution included the groom's dinner or not, as we were trying to finalize our personal budget for the wedding.  Talking about money is always awkward, especially with the FILs, but open communication will avoid any (even potentially more awkward) assumptions from the parties involved about who's planning/paying for what. 

    As far as feeling uncomfortable about them hosting the groom's dinner, perhaps they *want* to provide that for you and it is important to them to uphold that tradition.  I wouldn't get too caught up in worrying about who paid for what.  In today's day and age who pays for the wedding is much less traditional. 
  • In Response to Re: groom's parents paying for more than bride's parents:
    Think of it as a way to welcome you (or your new H) into the family...not a reward for ponying up $$.
    Posted by trixie549
    I totally agree!
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