Head table? Sweetheart? What to do!?

TCbride1

I've always been curious about how other people feel about this topic.

I have mixed feelings....
-As a date I hate when I have to sit at a random table when my FI is in a wedding
-As a bridesmaid I like feeling special being with the wedding party (but also wish I was with my sig. other)
-As a guest I don't like when I can't see the Bride & Groom during speeches
BUT I'm not sure if at my own wedding, I'd want to sit at a sweetheart table w/ FI as if we're secluding ourselves.  Hmmm. Thoughts? What do you prefer, or what worked best for you? 

sndietz

I am doing sweetheart.  I'd like to sit with my husband and have a few minutes to ourselves.  I am going to let the rest of the bridal party sit with their families; their tables will be near ours. 

khornbach

This was strangely enough a weird sticking point for my DH and me. I wanted a sweetheart table because I don't like the one sided look of a head table. But, he wanted to sit with the BM and GM. So we worked out an alternative solution. Our venue was able to do a "regal" table which was a big oval table. we got to sit all the BM and GM around the table with their dates (which all but 2 had!) and our parents. This made it so all the people you needed for speeches or extra pictures were together. We weren't at the table much so there were still people to talk to for those at the table and i could find everyone easily

FutureMrsSheeler

I personally wanted a sweetheart table, but FI wanted a head table, so we will probably do that, but we haven't completely decided yet. 

I feel bad for the WP's dates, and know that I would be uncomfortable sitting with random people, even though it is only for about an hour.

I also want to have time with the WPand such, so I am still on the fence.

Cackle6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_head-table-sweetheart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:029be724-d1b2-4626-8cc4-982d4124841fPost:ec712e26-b8df-4073-87b3-c03993b64cd5">Re: Head table? Sweetheart? What to do!?</a>:
[QUOTE] Our venue was able to do a "regal" table which was a big oval table. we got to sit all the BM and GM around the table with their dates 
Posted by khornbach[/QUOTE]

<div>This is what we are doing as well. It's been one of the few things FI actually voiced an opinion on, and I think it's a good idea. I've never been a fan of head tables that are just one long table - if you're the person on the end you don't really get to talk to anyone and that sucks.</div>

graysquirrel

We had a traditional head table. Most people in our circle had never even heard of anything else. I had thought about doing other options, but we really wanted our BP with us and we didn't have room for their guests at it (logistics of the room). Out of our BP's guests, I think that there was only one or 2 people who didn't know anyone, and we were careful in how we sat them so it worked out well. This might make me a b1tch, but one of the groomsmen's wives had no seating chart at her wedding and my H was in their WP and I was left to fend for myself completely and it was terribly awkward. I didn't feel bad about her not sitting with her H after that.

TCbride1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_head-table-sweetheart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:029be724-d1b2-4626-8cc4-982d4124841fPost:ec712e26-b8df-4073-87b3-c03993b64cd5">Re: Head table? Sweetheart? What to do!?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Our venue was able to do a "regal" table which was a big oval table. we got to sit all the BM and GM around the table with their dates</strong> (which all but 2 had!) and our parents. This made it so all the people you needed for speeches or extra pictures were together. We weren't at the table much so there were still people to talk to for those at the table and i could find everyone easily
Posted by khornbach[/QUOTE]


Ooh I really like this idea. I'll have to chat with our venue coordinator to see if it's possible.

MaggieandJake

I voted "other"

We did a head table with just the wedding party.

Looking back, I'd make one change, and I'm kinda kicking myself for not doing it in the first place (Sorry to my dear BM!).  In hindsight, I would have let my 1 BM who had a date (and who wasn't in the wedding party already) sit with her at the head table.  Our ushers and their dates + my BM's date sat at a table together. 

At my H's cousin's wedding they had all dates sit with their SO at the head table-so they just had 1 long head table.  This of course probably wouldn't work as well if you have a large wedding party though. 

AshP12

I'm doing a head table and letting the BMs and GMs have their SOs sit with them at the head table if they choose. It works for us because we have a small enough wedding party (4 BM, 4 GM) and most of the SOs aren't familiar enough with our family/friends to be comfortable sitting with them. I'm in an upcoming wedding in which my future husband won't know anyone and he will not be able to sit with me at the head table. Because of that, he's skipping dinner altogether and just coming to the dance portion of that reception. I would hate to have to do that to my wedding parties dates. Whatever you choose, I recommend letting the wedding party sit with their SOs and others they are comfortable around.

musicalsunlight

I think it just depends on your WP. If your WP is made up of a bunch of people who would have SO's that don't know each other, maybe it is better to have a big head table or just a sweetheart table. But if you think they are the type that would get along with strangers for a little while, then a regular head table might be better. I am having a big head table with both WP members and their dates.

colstj1

We are doing a head table, but then having a table for the WP dates to sit at that will be close to the head table. I was at a wedding and my FI was in the WP. They did this exact thing and it was just fine. I was able to talk with all of the other WP dates and meet new people, yet I was close enough to the head table to talk to my FI if I wanted to.

tpender13

We only had a best man and MOH as our WP. H and I sat at a regular round table in the middle of the floor with best man, his FI, MOH, and her H. So, kind of like the regal table but on a much smaller scale.

KateJ10

I have also disliked being separated/alone for the dinner. If I had had a small enough bridal party, I would have considered having them and their dates sit with us. But we had 5 each, so we just had our own sweetheart table and I love that we did that, and I think other people were happy about that as well.

trixie549

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_head-table-sweetheart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:029be724-d1b2-4626-8cc4-982d4124841fPost:2743e965-68dd-4c4f-a235-2bf5c1fb222c">Re: Head table? Sweetheart? What to do!?</a>:
[QUOTE]We only had a best man and MOH as our WP. H and I sat at a regular round table in the middle of the floor with best man, his FI, MOH, and her H. So, kind of like the regal table but on a much smaller scale.
Posted by tpender13[/QUOTE]

We are also planning to do this with our BM, MOH and their spouses. I hate being on display when I eat, so this will be more comfortable and appropriate for us, considering we only have on attendant each (a traditional head table would look silly for just 4 of us).

newlyseliski

We also did a more "oval" shaped baron's table for the bride, groom, bridesmaids, groomsmen and significant others!  Our parents wanted to sit at other tables with family members and were just adjacent to the head table for speeches and stuff.  It usually requires additional "half-round" tables and larger, more expensive linens to cover a baron's table vs. a traditional head table or sweetheart table.  Our venue did not have the half-round tables available, so we had to rent them.  We used (2) standard 8'x30" banquet tables and (2) 5' diameter half-rounds and it seated 14 people comfortably. Half of the bridesmaids and half of the groomsmen had spouses/dates... so it worked out perfectly!  Since most of their spouses/dates didn't know anyone else at the wedding, I think they appreciated it.

Steph0871

This is one of those things I've never understood... head tables.  Do you REALLY need to have your friends next to you while you eat a meal? I mean, really? Don't you think they should be able to enjoy the meal with their friends and SOs?  I dunno. I just don't get it.

We had a sweetheart table, and it was the only hour H and I had 'alone' all day, to be honest.  I loved it.  We sat our wedding party and their SOs among other mutual friends, and gave them the table up front, so they could easily do speeches.

TCbride1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_head-table-sweetheart?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:029be724-d1b2-4626-8cc4-982d4124841fPost:55a338e6-e400-43a9-8f6a-c1bbe3c0a06c">Re: Head table? Sweetheart? What to do!?</a>:
[QUOTE]  I dunno. I just don't get it. We had a sweetheart table, and it was the only hour H and I had 'alone' all day, to be honest.  I loved it.  <strong>We sat our wedding party and their SOs among other mutual friends, and gave them the table up front, so they could easily do speeches.
</strong>Posted by Steph0871[/QUOTE]

Good idea. I never really liked the head table thing, I've just never seen a sweetheart table in action, so wasn't sure if it worked well for others during speeches or not. Thanks for the advice everyone!

beka0404

Aside from not being a very big fan of traditional head tables, that setup didn't really work with our venue. I was glad because nothing skeeves me out more than a bunch of people staring at me while I'm eating!

My husband and I sat at a round table with our parents, the BM, the MOH and their spouses. Then we had the rest of the WP at the remaing rounds with their spouses/significant others. It worked out well for us and I didn't feel robbed of quality time with our WP (first, because we had time with them after the ceremony on the limo bus and second, because when you're all seated facing the same direction it's not very conducive to conversation anyway). Our second choice would have been a sweetheart table.

I've been to a few weddings with the royal table-type setup and it always seems like it works well too. As a guest, it's kind of handy because you can stop and say hi to the WP that you know without being conspicuous.

saintpaulJess

We're doing a head table with bridesmaids, groomsmen AND significant others.  The head table will have people seated on both sides and then the rest of the tables will be rounds that will circle the head table.

kekr0202

We're having cocktails and apps only, no sit down but here's my take-I HATE when I can't sit with my date, whether I'm in a wedding or my FI is in a wedding.  I know I have strong opinions on this but I think it's rather rude to be invited to a wedding and not be able to sit with your date.  Just my two cents.

If I were having a sit down dinner I would opt for the Regal Table option where dates are allowed to join the wedding party or choose to have a Sweetheart.

AlyssaKisser

I once attended a wedding with an ex. He was in the wedding and sat at the head table. I didn't know many other people there, and for some reason they stuck me at the grandparents' table. It was awkward and boring.

I'm having a small-ish destination wedding, so depending on how many people end up coming, I'd really like to have one large, U-shaped table.

even0004

For my wedding we will have a head table. None of the Groomsmen have a date but one BM is married so he'll be sitting at the head table with us. I can't imagine making him sit somewhere else. I would feel way to bad about that.