this is the code for the render ad
Community› Local Wedding Boards› Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul
Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul
New Discussion

Gift Opening next day??? Help!!!!

Sarahsue1684Sarahsue1684 member
100 Comments
in Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul
Ok so I havent really though about this much until yesterday when FMIL asked what we were doing.

Me and my FI live in the basement of my parents house until we find a house. We do not have AC. Our hotel does have a banquet room but it is booked for the Sunday after our wedding.

In honesty I really do not want ot have a huge gift opening and really would like this to be a fun moment with just me and my FI. I have tlaked to some friends who have done it both ways.

Yesterday on the phone when my FMIL asked about it I had said I havent really thought about it yet and told her it may be something we just do together and she seemed a little peeved about it. For one we dont have a place to have it at. We dont have the money to provide more food (me FI and my parents are the only ones paying for the whole wedding) and its the day before we leave for our honeymoon so I would just like it to to be a relaxing day to do what we want when we want. She also states that 4 people from out of town were wondering what we were doing because they want to come....im just torn because if I say what i want to do it offends them and they get mad and think im a bridezilla :(

What have those of you who are married done...or what are you doing??
Report Reply to Post

Re: Gift Opening next day??? Help!!!!

  • TaffetaDarlingTaffetaTaffetaDarlingTaffeta member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Like you, I'm not a fan of the gift opening extravaganza. Sounds like a day to do what you two need is in order especially since you are leaving for the Honeymoon so soon. I'm sure it won't be the last thing a MIL law gets peeved about. She'll get over it. 

    For our post wedding stuff, we are just chillin with the family that may still be in town. No stress, no commitments. 
    Report Reply
  • shan87shan87
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    ILs threw a gift opening for us. I didn't care either way. We had the space and they were willing to pay for the food. If they are requesting it but the burden falls on you I would stick your ground.

    It also depends on how close your H is with his family and how often he gets to see them. I was at the IL's until 3 in the morning the day after the wedding. I was exhausted but I sucked it up because his family is from all over the world so getting them in the same room is near impossible.
    Report Reply
  • PoliceWife104PoliceWife104
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It sounds like you've already decided what you want to do, which makes perfect sense, because you leave the next day.  I would say skip it & let MIL deal.  In the long run, a gift opening isn't the end all, be all of a wedding. 

    We're having a gift opening with some light snacks at FIL's house the day after the wedding, because FMIL wanted to.  I was fine either way.  It's going to be a "if you want to come, you can", deal & like PP, I think it will end up just being people hanging out for a bit.
    Report Reply
  • newlyseliskinewlyseliski member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We didn't do one for the same reasons... Fortunately, neither our in laws nor my parents minded one way or another.  We just briefly stopped by our respective parents' houses to visit for a little bit the day after the wedding and head home.  I agree that if whomever is requesting it isn't willing to foot the bill for it... it's your decision. 

    However, we did open all the cards the day after when at the in-laws so we could make sure that checks, money and such got deposited/organized and weren't sitting around while we were off on our honeymoon! 

    We didn't open the gifts until two weekends after the wedding and had our families over to our apartment for dessert... ulterior motive was that they all helped us clean up, organize and put a lot of the gifts away :)
    Report Reply
  • beka0404beka0404
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We had a gift opening/Vikings game party at our house - my MIL was pretty insistent and my husband's aunt and uncle brought and cooked all the food. If we would have had to cover ANY of the costs or the labor, I would have 86'd it, because I was exhausted and like you, we were leaving for our honeymoon right away. 

    In hindsight, I really disliked the materialistic aspect of opening gifts in front of people - frankly, I think it gives people the opportunity to judge what others gave and I felt like it was no one's business but my husband's and mine. Not everyone has the same in-law family dynamic as me, so I don't think the materialistic aspect is universal.

    Please don't worry about being a bridezilla - inevitably, something you do will offend someone (brides = martyrs). It is not your job to entertain OOT guests AFTER the wedding. If your MIL wants to host a gathering, let her, but you will probably pretty tired and looking to just enjoy your new husband's company, you know?
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • wittyschaffywittyschaffy member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    My parents threw a brunch for out of town family the next morning so that we could spend some time with them before they headed home but we didn't open a single gift (save for one of the out of towners gifts because they asked us to) until everyone had left.  It was just us and our parents (and my siblings who were staying with my parents).

     I didn't want to open gifts with a huge audience.  If you've been around here long enough, you know the story about the fairy diorama we got as a gift from one of DH's "creative" aunts.  I could barely keep a straight face and was too tired and not in a mood to play nice when someone went so very very very far off regsistry!  :-P
    Report Reply
  • Sarahsue1684Sarahsue1684 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_gift-opening-next-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:0bc28da1-3297-4328-8aa5-8cdac54669e3Post:00cb8494-d857-4231-bdb5-fb7ac4606938">Re: Gift Opening next day??? Help!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]We had a gift opening/Vikings game party at our house - my MIL was pretty insistent and my husband's aunt and uncle brought and cooked all the food. If we would have had to cover ANY of the costs or the labor, I would have 86'd it, because I was exhausted and like you, we were leaving for our honeymoon right away.  In hindsight, I really disliked the materialistic aspect of opening gifts in front of people - frankly, I think it gives people the opportunity to judge what others gave and I felt like it was no one's business but my husband's and mine. Not everyone has the same in-law family dynamic as me, so I don't think the materialistic aspect is universal. Please don't worry about being a bridezilla - inevitably, something you do will offend someone (brides = martyrs). It is not your job to entertain OOT guests AFTER the wedding. If your MIL wants to host a gathering, let her, but you will probably pretty tired and looking to just enjoy your new husband's company, you know?
    Posted by beka0404[/QUOTE]

    Agreed to all.....FMIL is not wanting to host anything so it would be me and my family. This whole wedding has been something with his side let me tell you. Another reason I dont want to deal with this. :)

    Thanks everyone!!! At least I know im not the only one out there that feels like doing this alone!!!
    Report Reply
  • KateJ10KateJ10
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would agree to not do one- we are not doing one as I don't want any commitments the day after and we leave for HM on that Monday- and I guess I wouldn't mind if it were just with our parents, but maybe a way you can appease her is to show her the fun stuff you guys got the next time they come and visit. You will probably get gift cards also, so you can show her the stuff you bought with the GCs then too.
    Report Reply
  • nordkenordke member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We're not doing one either. I told everyone that come Sunday, I think we'll all just want a day to do what we each want to do and not have to worry about being at  certain place at a certain time. Thankfully too both our families are fine with whatever we do. Your FMIL will get over it. If not, that's her problem to deal with :) 
    Report Reply
  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_gift-opening-next-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:0bc28da1-3297-4328-8aa5-8cdac54669e3Post:00cb8494-d857-4231-bdb5-fb7ac4606938">Re: Gift Opening next day??? Help!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE] In hindsight, I really disliked the materialistic aspect of opening gifts in front of people - frankly, I think it gives people the opportunity to judge what others gave and I felt like it was no one's business but my husband's and mine. 
    Posted by beka0404[/QUOTE]

    <div>I agree with this 1000%. You bring up an excellent point. I'm hoping that gift opening will just be something shared by FI and I, I have no idea how our families feel about them.</div>
    <a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Money Saving Tips"><img src="http://global.thenest.com/tickers/tt17ce82.aspx" alt="Anniversary" border="0"  /></a>

    White Knot

    Planning Bio-Added FOR SALE page, will be adding more stuff to it soon! 
    Report Reply
  • tlbattagliatlbattaglia member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Love the last point.  I think we're going to do it alone.
    Anniversary
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards