PA?

ssminy79

For my wedding we are not having bridesmaids/groomsmen-our parents are standing up for us.  However, I really would like one of my girlfriends to be involved with the day.  We have been friends since day 1-literally, she and I were born within 2 hours of each other in the same delivery room!  At any rate, I told her that I would really like her to be involved-helping me the day of, the night before...etc.  She seemed only slightly interested.  She does live 5 hours away, so I am not sure if that is an issue.    I have another girlfriend in MN who has already been really helpful with suggestions and now I am reconsidering asking her, or maybe having both help me out?  Just more as a moral support and keeping me and my mom from getting on each other's nerves.  What do you guys think?  I can't do this all on my own and I would really like to include my closest girlfriends on my day, but I have mixed feelings about one of them...

Bimbi284

I don't think the distance (5 hours away) should be an issue. I live in Chicago, my MOH lives in Milwaukee, another BM is in La Crosse, and the other 3 are in various places in MN. If we can make that work, having one girl 5 hours away shoouldn't be too bad.It sounds like you already asked the one friend (even if indirectly). If she's that important to you, she should be a part of it, even if she isn't as helpful as the other one. Sounds like your other friend has already been useful, so it makes sense that you would choose her to help you out too. One of my BMs (my SIL) has been of NO help to me whatsoever thus far (and I don't expect her to be for the duration of the process), but I still consider her a very important part of my life, and regardless of her ability to help me out, I want her to stand up for me on my wedding day. The rest of my girls have been awesome, so it kind of balances it out.Sorry so long...yikes!I hope that helps...GL!

LolaBelle515

Nothing wrong with having two personal attendants! That way, you still get to honor the two close friends it sounds like you would like to ask---but you don't have to worry if one of them is less into details and organization. The other friend will do great with those odds and ends---and you still get to have both of them with you all day long! Of course, you should ask your friend who only seemed slightly interested if she WANTS this role. It's OK if she says no--maybe she' concerned about the distance or isn't into be a personal attendant, and that's OK, too. If she can be honest with you, that's cool, too. Good luck!

ssminy79

SO, my next question...how does one ask another to be a personal attendent?

felaney

I just asked my personal attendant like I did my bridesmaids.. basically said it would mean a lot to have her be a part of my day

Bimbi284

Yeah...just ask! I asked all of my bridesmaids myself. I didn't think it was necessary to do a fancy shmancy card or anything like that when a simple "will you be my bridesmaid?" would suffice.

littlemissflip

You could just let them be as involved as they want to be without giving them a title.  I had several friends help out in various ways on the wedding day.  I either asked them "would you mind doing X?", or they offered to do certain things... I didn't call any of them PAs (even one of my friends who was super involved in a lot of aspects of wedding planning).  I didn't want any one person to feel obligated. I guess I just don't get why friends helping out need to be called something other than... friends!   

periippa

Don't let the distance bother you too much! I live in Washington DC, but my bridesmaids live in Iowa, Omaha, Minneapolis, and New York City!If you are having mixed feelings on one of your friends, then I'd wait to ask her. See how/if your relationship changes during the next few months. You'd be surprised how much friendships can change when someone is getting married!