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Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul

Rant - long

I'm a PA in a former roommate's wedding that's happening the first weekend in August, and the entire wedding is just frustrating me.  The bride has 4 PA's (another is our other roommate, so the 3 of us are really close)  and when she asked us, she said that we'd each have our own "job" that will make us each feel special.  Seriously.  So the three of us have gotten together a few times over the past 5 months or so, and we've asked her several times if there's anything we can help with.  She never has an answer.  We asked about the bridal shower and bach party, and she said she was only having a family shower and her MOH was taking care of the bach party.

3 weeks before the shower, one of her other PA's invites me via email and informs me that she needs help with the shower.  I couldn't go because I was already scheduled to work.  (It was on a holiday weekend, so I couldn't find anyone to switch shifts.)  So I looked like a terrible friend since I wasn't at her shower.

Then about a month ago, her MOH sent out a facebook invite for the bachelor/bachelorette party (they're having it together).  So I responded that I'd be there.  I have to work in the morning, but the party was scheduled at noon so I'd be able to change quick after work and meet up with everyone.  Then a week and a half before the party, she updates the party info to say that it's in WI, about 3 hours away.  Again, I would have just requested work off if I knew it was going to be in WI.  So now I'm not even sure that it's worth the drive.  I'd work in the am, drive out there, stay for a few hours, then have to drive back to be at work the next morning.

Then I got a facebook invite for a "personal shower" her bridesmaid would like to throw her in a hotel room the night after the rehearsal dinner since the bachelorette party is really a group get together.  But I don't know how to respond because I haven't heard anything about whether or not I've even invited to the rehearsal dinner.  Maybe I should just assume I am, but I feel like that gets into a sticky situation.

I suppose I could ask the bride, but I've tried calling her and getting together with her for the past month, and she's completely unresponsive.  The only communication I've gotten from her has been to ask me to help her and her FI move to their new place.

So... thanks for letting me rant about this wedding.  I feel terrible because she's really a good friend, but I think she has "wedding brain" or something, and the lack of communication is driving me nuts!

So In Love

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Re: Rant - long

  • edited December 2011
    WTF does she need 4 PA's for? ugh sorry-but seriously!

    Rant away- personally, what I would do is not feel like a bad friend at all. If she comes back at you or ends up getting upset over something, like you not attending a pre party, then you have plenty of legit reasons that you weren't able to make it!

    I would just let the bachelorette know the rehearsal dinner situation, and that you would like to go if you are going to be at the rehearsal dinner and you will let her know once you find out for sure.

    This all in all sounds like kind of a shiit show. :)
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_rant-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:11be3bf8-b260-4d9f-920f-9a0156fefc85Post:db984c5c-26bd-4e29-97e7-b21d6cef45fb">Re: Rant - long</a>:
    [QUOTE]WTF does she need 4 PA's for? ugh sorry-but seriously! Rant away- personally, what I would do is not feel like a bad friend at all. If she comes back at you or ends up getting upset over something, like you not attending a pre party, then you have plenty of legit reasons that you weren't able to make it! I would just let the bachelorette know the rehearsal dinner situation, and that you would like to go if you are going to be at the rehearsal dinner and you will let her know once you find out for sure. This all in all sounds like kind of a shiit show. :)
    Posted by KateJ10[/QUOTE]

    Ditto! 

    Sounds like a mess, no fun! 
  • edited December 2011
    I wouldn't feel too bad about missing the shower/party. It's their lack of communication that's to blame, not your lack of caring! And yes, I would just really try to get a hold of the bride to ask her if you're expected at the rehearsal dinner. If so, go to the after party thing. If not, I guess maybe still go to the after party, depending on how convenient it is for you.

    I'm sure the bride does have "wedding brain". I have a few friends/family helping me with wedding projects and I feel so bad that we haven't hung out except for wedding related things for the past few months. I just keep telling myself I'll make it up to them!
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  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    This has WTF written all over it. I'm sorry you're having to go through this.
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