Bar questions

becca2434

So my parents are paying for our wedding and they don't really feel comfortable paying for a open bar. For one there are quite a few party people coming to our wedding and they feel a open bar will only help contribute to chaos. Plus we also feel it is very unnessary to pay for everyones drinks. We are already having a very nice dinner and 4 different kinds of heavy hor dourves for cocatail hour 2 butler passed and 2 stations. We are however hosting 1 glass of one for dinner, and a champagne toast and we are hosting pop all night. My question is this rude? I ready on the E board that everyone is really aganist cash bars. What are you doing?

kaylas16

We hosted pop, had 3 kegs, and 30 bottles of wine.  We also had a dollar amount that we would host for other bar purchases, which apparently was high enough where we weren't even close to hitting that amount, so my dad just had the bar open all night. 

I have been to weddings where it was an entire open bar all night and I've been to weddings were there was a partial cash bar simliar to what to we did. 

Have you guys considered having a few kegs hosted?  I think in this area it's common for wedding guests to pay for some of their drinks.  I know alot of people on TK would say it's rude for guests to have to pay for their drinks but the way I feel is as long as you are paying for their dinner and some kind of beverage you are not being rude.   Obviously guests appreciate not having to open their wallets at your wedding but you don't want to have some extravagent open bar situation that isn't affordable to you guys.

plum10

I've found at least in MN/Wis (I've been to a lot of weddings) partial bar is very popular which is what I'm doing, too. Host 2 kegs, the glass of wine and champagne toast and if anyone wants other drinks they can buy from the cash bar. 

shainabiron

Same.  We are hosting 2 kegs, wine, and mostly likely a champagne toast (plus pop, coffee, and tea).  Most of the weddings i have been to in WI  or MN have done something similar. 

SuperRNluvsChef

PEC doesn't allow cash bars so everything is hosted.  We're getting a couple kegs, 4 cases of wine and serving mojitos. 

IMO you should provide what you can afford and skip the cash bar part, as I don't think guests should have to pay for their drinks. 

EmilyCMN

We did a partial hosting also. We bought 2 kegs, 1 case (24 bottles) of wine, and we hosted pop all night. That worked out well for us. A majority of the guests got to drink all night on us and we knew exactly what the bill would be so we didn't have a tab of unknown amount out there. We also hosted our bridal party the whole evening which I think was like an extra $85... I guess we picked a bunch of light weights!

Some of our guests may have snuck in their own alcohol... it was kind of funny and the hotel didn't care/notice...

FutureMrsSheeler

We're doing a partially open bar. We are having three kegs, wine, and pop. There will also be champagne during the social hour. 

I think a partially open bar is very acceptable, especially in MN.

colstj1

We are going to be hosting a keg and around 25 bottles of wine and 25 bottles of champagne for a toast.  From there it will be a cash bar for people who want mixed drinks or more than that. I personally feel as though there is nothing wrong with having a cash bar. You can always set limits to things, like how we are doing 25 bottles of wine and then once it runs out, it's out.

SSaltzman87

We're probably going to do partially hosted as well. Haven't figured out what exactly we're hosting though :-)

PaddyB

We are hosting a fully open bar. I thought I might give you a different perspective than what you have gotten in PP. 

It seems to me etiquette is what makes it so hard not to host at least some form of alcohol the whole night.  I'm not saying this because I think you need to, but becuase you aren't supposed to put the fact that you are having a partial cash bar on the invitation etc. 

When I got to weddings and something, even just beer or wine, is not hosted the whole evening I always wish I had known that because then I would have brought more cash. I don't normally have a lot of cash on me, and even less when I'm dressed up and not planning to have a purse.  I usually just have an ID and a credit card with me, and most weddings dont take credit cards.

Anyway, when I am at a wedding that does not have at least beer and wine the whole night the thing that I personally find rude is that I had no heads up, but the problem is that it is also considered rude to give your guests a heads up.

After that long convoluted reasoning, I would never dream of putting some limit on it. I would instead try to find a server provide that will work with me to come up with something (alcoholic) within my budget that I can afford to provide all night.

mzad22

I am with the majority of the posters here.  I am hosting a partial bar.  Instead of purchasing a certain dollar amount of alcohol, we are hosting beer, wine, and champagne for a certain amount of time.  That way people will know exactly when they will have to start paying.  It leaves the budget a little bit up in the air for us, but I didn't like the idea of one person standing in line getting a free drink and the next having to pay because the hosted alcohol budget reached its cap.  Our caterer said that if the keg still has beer left that we can continue to host that until it runs out (since you pay for the whole thing anyway).

mzad22

Also I just wanted to say that, no, I don't think that it is rude.  I think that when you host a wedding you make it as nice as you can, but I also think that guests understand that not everyone has the money to pay for something like an open bar (which I have heard can be very expensive!)

MrsBassPlaya

I think in this area people are used to cash bars.  I, personally, really dislike when a couple doesn't have anything hosted.  I'm totally fine if the couple does the beer/wine thing because hard liquor can get super $$.  (Although I always fully appreciate the completely hosted bar).  I used to never bring cash to weddings until I moved up here.  Now, if I find out it's a cash bar, I bring a flask.  Not kidding.

jennipea382

Every wedding I've been to in this area has had a cash bar or partially hosted bar. The only open bar wedding I've been to was a cousin's in MD who also had delicious crab cakes for dinner.. but anyways..

We're most likely using the PEC so we will be hosting beer and wine (as PP said, no cash bars there). I've had friends host these things until it's out and it works fine for me. I personally bring cash to weddings just in case there is a cash bar. I don't find it rude unless you have really extravagant things for yourself like your dress and jewelry. For my wedding I'd rather get a cheaper dress than skimp on food or beverages! :-)

quincygirl77

We are hosting an open bar only because of the generosity of my FILs (we were going to do wine and beer only).  Almost all of the weddings I've been too have had a cocktail hour that is hosted and then cash bar, which worked great.  I think it is a nice gesture to have a bit of hosting, even just for an hour or so.

AETS26

I always thought a cash bar was a little tacky... until I started planning my own wedding. We certainly can't afford an open bar all night.

wittyschaffy

We did what most PPs did - we hosted cocktail hour and then after dinner, it was hosted beer, wine and soda but anything above and beyond that was up to the guest. 

kidlets2

I'm going to be the exception I guess. I don't feel that we should pay for anyone's drinks, except pop & water. FI are not big drinkers and neither is our immediate family. It's your choice to drink alcoholic beverages which cost a lot more than non, so you should have to bear that expense not us. I look at it like cake...not every bride & groom care for cake so some have pie, cupcakes or even nothing. Why is that ok but not paying for someone's hangover isn't?? Not to mention, if you are providing the alcohol, wouldn't logic follow to pay for someone's cab or a sober ride home? I would just feel terrible if someone got a DWI or into an accident after being allowed to drink all night at my wedding.

Just to give another perspective, I was just at a MN wedding where only keg beer was hosted. Water, pop, mixed drinks, and wine were cash.