Officiant Help

jcamm11

Okay, this is going to be a little long, but I'd like some feedback.  I live on the east coast, and I'm getting married at Mississippi Dunes next year.  I emailed their preferred wedding minister Rick Mattson, he said he'd put me on his calendar, but to read over his requirements and confirm.  Here is what his requirement for pre-marital counseling was:

Counseling: The state of Minnesota gives marriage license discounts to couples who go through pre-marriage counseling. This is a firm requirement for my involvement. You may do your counseling with me or another professional person (or attend classes).

So I wrote to him..

Hi Rick,

I read over all of your requirements and information.  Mike and I live on the east coast, so we might have to do the pre-marital counseling with someone out here.  I am not %100 sure, but we may be able to go to the twin cities over Christmas.  Perhaps we can work something out then? 

Here is the very next thing he wrote back:

Hi Jan, I'm sorry to say I don't think I can serve at your wedding. I'm really sorry. I won't be around for Christmas (my mom lives in FL, so I'm visiting there for a couple of weeks in late Dec), and I've never been comfortable working with couples that I can't meet in person (even if they do their counseling elsewhere--I still like to spend some time getting acquainted).

Again, please accept my apologies, Jan.  I tried to think of a way to make this work but couldn't come up with a good solution.

Please pass my apology on to Mike as well, and if there is anything else I can do for you when you're in MN next summer, just let me know. Dennis Neitz at MDunes is great to work with and he will keep his word with you on all your plans.

Take care,
Rick

His pdf did say he didn't require me to go through him.  There's also the option of conference calls, alternative home visits (for me of course, not for him to reschedule xmas with his fam)..  Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel like he gave up on me a little quick.  What do you think?  Also, do you have any recommendations for a good officiant in the twin cities area?  Sigh...

shainabiron

We're using Judge Tom Armstrong.  He responds really well to emails (so far) and doesn't require the counseling or to meet in person before the wedding.  He said we could do all of our communicating with him via email or phone.  He also gives several contact numbers and encourages you to use them for any questions. Let me know if you want his info!

shan87

I read it as.. he didn't realize you were out of state until you sent that email. Once he figured out he dropped you LoL. I can see his concern with not being able to meet you - but it doesn't seem like he tried to set up a time other than christmas to do it.

Just think of it as his loss. I have heard several knotties have  great experience with Judge Armstrong. I've heard he allows you to put together your own ceremony.

If you didnt' want to go with him I would check out the Counties Website. They usually list the Names and Phone Numbers of Judges that can perform your ceremony.

jcamm11

Thanks, for the suggestions girls!  Judge Armstrong does have a lot of amazing reviews.   I emailed him today, hopefully he'll have my date open.

I am a little dissappointed because I wanted an actual minister vs. a judge.  Oh well..  It's just too hard to find someone from so far away..

Angie Richie

We used Reverend Markland.  We found him on Theknot.com.  He does not requre counseling and he did a great job for us!

mlschn06

If you wanted an actual minister keep looking around online- they are out ther! Also, you might just want to try calling a church in your area and see if they will do non-member weddings. That is what we ended up doing and it is working out wonderfully for us!

jcamm11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_officiant-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:1acccdba-8f6e-4ac4-9efc-623575989f3dPost:048e859d-fcb4-49c4-a94b-6565faba1ebb">Re: Officiant Help</a>:
[QUOTE]We used Reverend Markland.  We found him on Theknot.com.  He does not requre counseling and he did a great job for us!
Posted by Angie Richie[/QUOTE]

I just gave him a call, and I really liked him!  He was actually just about to leave for a rehearsal at <em>my</em> venue (gee, I wonder why he's working there instead of the Dunes' preferred minister).  I saw great reviews on him too.  Thanks, for the suggestion!

Veittobe

If Reverend Markland does not work out, you could look into Ron Sykes.  I found him here on the Knot as well and he was fantastic.  We received so many compliments on our sermon from our family!  He's definitely worth looking into.  He is a pastor at Cornerstone Church of Blaine.  We couldn't have been happier with him as our wedding pastor.

jcamm11

I'm really surprised to hear from so many of you who have liked your ministers/jops.  I have not been to a single wedding that I thought the OF did a good job - some were even embarrassing to listen to.  Thanks for all the great recommendations.