Who is paying for your wedding?

saintpaulJess

So what's the general consensus here...

saintpaulJess

FI and I are footing the bill.

We're both thirty-something and that just seemed most appropriate for us and our families.

Steph0871

FI and I were going to pay for a smaller wedding. My dad was upset it wouldn't be a full-out 'normal' wedding, so I told him he could pay for that. He's footing about 2/3 and FI and I are paying 1/3. (My dad is just paying for the reception.)

wittyschaffy

We paid for a small part and my parents paid the rest.  (they offered, we didn't ask)  We paid for my dress, invites, the limo, and all the deposits for ALL the vendors.  My parents offered to write us a check for what they would have spent on a wedding if we decided that we wanted to elope and i will fully admit to being completely tempted by that offer on occasion.  We had some quite un-necessary drama during planning because of the private ceremony part. 

We got married at the Conservatory and because DH's family is gigantic - and to be fair mine isn't tiny either-, we had to make it immediate family, grandparents, godparents, attendants and attendants SOs.  thats it.  We had 15 people at the Ceremony. They got their undies in a bunch about how we "were excluding them and that must mean that you don't love us".  Ummm, hello, we threw a HUGE party for 200 right after and we had our videographer do a quick "these are the important parts of the wedding" video that we showed at the Reception before we walked in.  Whatevs. 

maybe984

My answer is kind of convoluted. I was planning to pay for it almost entirely from money that my grandfather had left me when he died about 15 years ago. However, when I first got engaged, my Dad admitted that he (who legally has access to that account until I'm 28 or something...) had used it as collateral for a loan, and it was still tied up in that and we couldn't withdraw it. So, I agreed to let my dad pay for it... and once the funds in the trust are accessible again... he can keep that.

So, if you ask some members of my family... my dad paid for most and my in-laws paid for beer, wine, and a few small things. If you ask me... it was theoretically my money that paid for it.

tegdirb2001

We are getting 1/4 from my parents and the rest my FI and I are paying for.

shan87

My Mom is paying 55% and FI Parents are putting in 45%
My Mom wanted to pay for it all but FI parents are very equal equal ppl -- if you give them a gift for $100 you will get a gift back for $100. LoL So they wanted to contribute they don't have any girls just 2 boys so they wanted to help. I thought it was very nice and usually I decline money even free (I hate strings) but didn't want to start a war with the inlaws already.

My Dad passed away and wanted me to use the money he left me to pay for it. My Mom said I could use that money for My dress and the rest I should save. Made sense. So thats what I did.

KateJ10

His parents and my parents are helping us out a little bit, maybe 25% total. I expect that FI will pay around another 25% and I will make up the remaining 50%.

 

shainabiron

FI and I are paying for everything except the groom's dinner and the hosted bar (beer/wine) at the reception.  His parents are paying for those things.

tpender13

FI and I started planning a wedding we could afford ourselves w/out going into too much debt. Our three sets of parents (his are divorced and both remarried) have all offered to help financially. None of our plans changed once we found out that we were getting help, aside from adding a handful of people to the guest list, as we didn't want strings attached to the money.

SuperRNluvsChef

We're getting a little bit on money from our parents but FI and I are paying for about %95 of the total bill.

SSaltzman87

My parents are paying for most of it, but have asked FI and I to contribute financially as much as we could. It'll probably end up being split down the middle in some way, which is perfectly fine by me.

graysquirrel

We're getting what will be the cost of our honeymoon paid for by both of our parents and we're paying for the rest. 

I Want Cake

FI and I are paying for about 70% of ours, thanks to the homebuyer's refund we got last year, and a lot of saving.  My parents are kicking in a certain amount, but offered to raise it a little since I decided to pay for my own dress, which was more than I had wanted to pay.  Originally, my dad was going to cash out some stock he bought in the company he works for, but it's not doing so well right now, so he's going to just write me a check for what he was planning on it being.  FI's mom said she'd host the rehearsal dinner, but I'm really hoping she offers to kick in for our flower budget, which is really small.  I don't want to hear her whine about how it isn't lavish enough when she could've offered to help.  I know I shouldn't be bitter and should be grateful for everything offered, but I really do think she could be a little more supportive financially.  I know she can't afford what my parents can, but she can still afford something a little more than a small dinner.  I just hope that when she said she'd host the RD, she knows that that means she'll pay for it, not just greet everyone as they come in.

olivehim

FI's parents are paying for rehearsal dinner.  My mom and dad (divorced) are contributing about 20% and the other 80% is on us.  We're in our 30's and make a ton more money than both sets of our parents so it makes complete sense.  They help out in any way they can and it's very thoughtful and sweet of them but we don't expect it by any means.  We're just so grateful to be able to afford the kind of wedding we both hoped for (without being in debt afterwards).  Nothing too fancy, but it'll be the best day of our lives for sure!

veijes

My dad gave me an amount he was willing to give, which covered about 65% of the wedding. I bought a lot of things, like my dress, accessories, DIY projects, the flowers for our centerpieces and the vases, etc. My mom doesn't have much so she gave about $1000, which I appreciated so much since that was a lot for her. Then at the end, things started to add up so his parents helped up out with some of the final payments on the reception site, and gave us first class tickets for our honeymoon.

rainlex83

The wedding is coming out of our pockets. Our three sets of parents have their own financial problems, so they won't be able to help us. Its okay, I'm pretty sure we can still pull off a nice wedding with a smaller budget.

CheerKate

My parents are paying for about 90% of the wedding.  We are covering the rest plus the costs of our honeymoon, rings, hotels, etc.

Rebecca7911

My fiance and I are paying for our wedding ourselves.  Just like rainlex83, our 3 set of parents have their own financial issues to worry about and we don't expect them to contribute. We are having a longer engagement so we are able to save enough to have a nice wedding.

newlyseliski

My parents are giving us a set amount that will cover about 1/3 of the wedding, my fiance's parents are covering 1/4 of the wedding and my fiance and I are covering the rest.  It's mostly me, since my fiance is in school and I've been saving for years!  We've paid all the deposits ourselves so far and my parents paid for about half of my dress.

MaggieandJake

My parents gave us a set amount as well (about 1/2-1/3 of the total cost) and whatever other expenses we want-it's up to us.  My grandma is also helping us out a with part of the cost of using the family church-which she has been a member of for over 60 years! (My mom, and all of my maternal aunts and uncles were married there too).  She's a little upset over some little conflict between the church and herself over my wedding, so in protest, she's giving what she tithes annually to us first (which in the end goes to the church anyway).  His parents have offered to contribute towards our honeymoon.

Enchanted616

We are paying for rings and honeymoon, but my parents are taking care of the rest.

jenn920

My parents gave us $3000, which will cover about 15% of the total cost.  FI and I are paying the rest... his family had some financial hardships when he was in high school and have never recovered, so they aren't able to help at all.  Like Olive, FI and I make more money than our parents (or at least will be next year when I'm done with grad school and working again!) so it makes sense for us to pay for as much as possible.  Hence, we are having a more casual wedding with less fanciness, but its going to be beautiful and a ton of fun anyway!!!

ecni0801

Even though FI and I are still in college (he graduates this December and already has had tons of offers, thank God), we're footing the bill. My parents offered, but we'd just rather do it ourselves. We've been saving up a lot for the past two years, thankfully. My parents paid for my brother and sister's wedding (they got married at the court and then just had a sit down dinner with family), so whatever they spent on them, they're giving to us to use on the rehearsal dinner in Stillwater. We've been very lucky to be finding such great deals so far on the vendors.

beka0404

We paid for the vast majority of it ourselves. My MIL hosted and paid for the rehearsal dinner (highly advised - one less thing to plan!) and my parents bought my dress, some accessories, and some other smaller items. Other than that, we covered the tab - food, liquor, flowers, fees, limo bus, band, etc.

After the fact, my MIL gave us a generous monetary gift, and my parents offset the wedding costs with their gift - my dad built us a 900 sq ft deck this summer, which would have cost $8000 or more in labor had we hired a contractor. Both gifts were unexpected and wholly appreciated since, frankly, we had a rather lavish wedding.