How many of you.....

samatson

had or have a personal attendant?

What were their duties?

TIA!!

flower_lover

I had a personal attendant and not a day-of coordinator. If I had it to do over, I would have had a DOC in addition to my personal attendant.

We had a relatively small wedding (100 guests), but there was so much for the personal attendant to do that I felt bad. She distributed everybody's flowers, helped put up signs at the venue, and answered questions that the catering staff had.

She is a super-organized person, but has never been a bride before and there were a few things she didn't think of (nor did I). For instance, she didn't bring my bouquet or flowers for my hair to me before getting the other bridal partiy members theirs. Unfortunately, this meant that in about 1/3 of the pre-wedding pictures, I didn't have either my bouquet or the flowers in my hair.

The catering staff had asked if we needed a microphone for the reception. Even though we did and it said so on our reception "order", she didn't realize we needed one and said no. It was sad because people had to talk without one - our band had their own amplifiers but no mike. That was too bad as they would have provided one had she known we'd asked for it.

There were a few other things that were missed. I certainly don't blame my PA, she is a great person. I just felt bad on the wedding day asking her to do so many things, and also wished there'd been an experienced person there who might have thought of extra details that we didn't think of.

hkiesling

I ended up having two...sort of.  I had one official one who helped me with pre-wedding things: she went dress shopping with me, to a fitting, kept me sane.  She also helped with some light decorating the day of and helped cinch me into my dress.  Then a very good friend of mine sort of adopted herself as my day of PA, took a few photos on my camera, cleared the hallway so no one would see me before the ceremony, qued us to start down the aisle, followed us taking pictures to hold my bouquet/straighten dress, and then checked in with me throughout the night.  Both were God-sends.  I have a PA list I can email you if want.  Email me at hkiesling@yahoo.com.

I think the most important thing though is that I talked things over beforehand with the girls.  I wanted them to enjoy the wedding, so no one (including wedding party) had to do too much.

juliels53

I plan to have a personal attendant, but more as an honoary position. She's a family friend and I wanted to include her  in some way. She'll come along to my fittings and to pictures, just to be behind the scenes a bit.

Whatever you decide to do...make sure you thank them and have some small token of appreciation. I was just a PA for my friend recently, but really I was a coordinator, decorator and everything in between. It was a lot of work that I didn't know I was in for...with hardly a thank you. Very good idea to have a list, so they know what to expect day-of.

Clare13

I will have a personal attendant or two, but with that said I am being very cautious of what I am asking them to do the day of the wedding.  I have been a personal attendant many times.  Some brides require the PA to do everything the DOC would do.  Set-up, coordinate timeline, deal with all problems, take care of last minute needs/crisis, clean-up, etc.  If this is what you need, then please hire a DOC.  It makes for a horrible day for your personal attendant.  I have been in this situation and it has been no fun and all I wanted to do was leave at the end of the night. 

With that said I have been on the complete opposite side.  The bride was organized and what she need was for me to hand out flowers, make sure the ushers were ready when they were supposed to be, hang out with her before the wedding, go to get hair, nails, etc done and keep her relaxed and deal with the small problems that came up the day of the event.  This was super fun and I was glad I was able to be with bride the day of and take away the stress when that button fell off one of the tuxes, etc. 

I plan on having personal attendants who get to spend the day with me and help out with the things that go wrong that I can not plan for.  I also have a very very very long veil and I know that I will need help with outside pictures.  The more hands the better.  But, my main concern is that they get to enjoy the entire day with me.  They are not hired help and I want to respect this. 

Please consider what you need before you ask a personal attendant.  Remember, it should be fun for them, not a job that they are not being paid for.  

ljkinzel

Girls, you couldn't have said it better.  I am a professional wedding planner/coordinator that specializes in Day of Coordination.  About 95% of our clients only want our DOC package. I hate hearing these same comments when I am working at a wedding made by a couple that is already married and watched me work all day.  They wished they would have hired a professional DOC instead of having their PA or two do everything.  The brides that have made those comments to me have all said that they wished they would have given their PA's tasks like, "go and grab my lipstick and hang out with me", not "go and put on 300 chair cover". There were also many items that went through the cracks and were done incorrectly because of lack of experience.  Later on, in some cases, it put strain on their friendship. Visit my website for more information. www.atyourserviceweddings.com

beka0404

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_many-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:7111a360-223f-4e4f-8b75-f9107bb2e7d3Post:e7ca855a-5295-47e2-a7b5-8a6a800e72f1">Re: How many of you.....</a>:
[QUOTE]I will have a personal attendant or two, but with that said I am being very cautious of what I am asking them to do the day of the wedding.  I have been a personal attendant many times.  Some brides require the PA to do everything the DOC would do.  Set-up, coordinate timeline, deal with all problems, take care of last minute needs/crisis, clean-up, etc.  If this is what you need, then please hire a DOC.  It makes for a horrible day for your personal attendant.  I have been in this situation and it has been no fun and all I wanted to do was leave at the end of the night. 
Posted by Clare13[/QUOTE]

Well said. I had a similar experience. It was horrible - and seven years later, I still remember it clearly. I think I may still have PTSD! :)