Should I change my entire meal???

drdifabio

Ok I have officially gone nuts. Being engaged for almost a year and a half now is has given me way to much time to think about decisions that have already been made and try to change them.

So my newest dilemma is the meal at the reception.
We currently have a family style meal by courses but I keep thinking about doing an all hors d'oeuvre meal instead - like a tapas meal if any of you are familiar with that.

The reason I am thinking about flipping is because I really like the tapas style of eating - I think it would promote conversation and be a more mingling atmosphere. But family style would prolly do that too??? Now I haven't talked to my venue yet so I am not sure how it would totally work but here is my guess on how the two options would break out....

Family Style - 19.95pp
Salads as the 1st course, sides as the 2nd course, and protein (chicken or steak) passed out by servers. Dessert included on a buffet table.

Hors d'oeuvres - same cost pp
Would get us roughly 6-7 pieces per person plus a Viennese dessert station.

Or 8-9 pieces per person plus a chocolate fondue station.

So does the tapas/hors d'oeuvres meal sounds cool enough to you to be worth the switch? Would you prefer the family style meal? They are both a little bit of a different way of serving dinner and I am honestly not sure which one I like better anymore so am looking to you for your thoughts!

TIA!

loopy82

I really like the tapas idea. I have never been to a wedding that has had that style of meal. Does serving tapas provide people with enough food? That would be my concern. A lot of my guests are from a small town/ farm and tapas just wouldn't go over well. They are more of a meat and potatoes crowd. I would think of what you think would suit your guests the best.

I went to a wedding two years ago that served food family style. It was nice to not have to get up and stand in a buffet line.

Are you having (a lot of )children at your wedding? If you are, I would say that family style would be best for people feeding their children.

wittyschaffy

If you're just going to serve appetizers, be sure to make that very clear on your invite.  I think 99% of reception attendees will expect dinner unless you say otherwise and will very likely be hungry if it isn't a full meal.

If it was me personally, I'd go with the regular meal even though I get where you're coming from with the whole being different thing.  I did a sit down meal but we custom did the menu and made it "ours" that way. 

Good luck with your decision.

shameless_ad

We are doing a tapas style meal.  It will be a combination of buffet style and hors d'oevres.  We haven't talked with Heather about how it will actually work, but I would like to have food stations set up throughout the room, to encourage mingling.  My FI is absolutely adament that we do NOT have a sit down dinner of any type - he really wants people up and moving during the reception.  Not sure if any of that really helped...

Muffers

We are doing heavy hors d'oeuvres for our reception so of course I love the tapas idea! Our goal is to keep people mingling, so we'll have some passed bites (like crostini, chicken skewers, etc.) as well as stations (carved sandwiches, martini mashed potato bar).

I never eat much at weddings - usually b/c i'm drinking, dancing and yakkity yakking - so the idea of being able to wander around and munch is perfect for me. I would be a happy guest at your wedding

maybe984

Honestly, I really dislike hors d'oeuvre-only receptions.

When eating that way, I never feel like I actually had enough of a meal, even if I've actually wayyy overeaten. Especially if it's at a regular meal time.

Honestly, I think you're getting way more for your money with a family style dinner. Even if the servings are almost the same in terms of volume or caloric intake, it's all a matter of perception. And, some people's perception will be that you were trying to cut costs by cutting out a "real meal."

Muffers

PS - I agree w/Witty that it's important to be clear on the invites about the meal, whether you're having a dinner or champagne and cake or hors d'oeuvres or whatever.

And Maybe984 is right that there may be some folks with perception issues, sadly most of us in this country have terrible views on portion size! But if there is enough food people will be fine, regardless of how big each serving is.

kclepire

I don't fully understand the tapas.  Would you be sitting at your table and small plates of food are coming out for each table?  Is someone going around with plates of food?
I think it's wierd to do tapas or family style with plates in the middle of the table because some of your tables will be mixed people who don't know each other.

I 2nd Maybe984 that people will actually eat more if you have hor derves and not feel as full so they will eat more.

PP mentioned that FI doesn't wants ppl up and mingling and doesn't want ppl sitting.  Keep in mind that some people may not know others so that makes it hard for them to walk around and mingle. 

kassie411

I did a family style at the PEC and people are still raving about the food.  It was very classy and tasted amazing.  I'd say family style all the way.. people really enjoy being able to relax and having everything served to them.

drdifabio

Thanks so much for all the thoughts!

Yea the fear that tapas might not feel like enough food even if it is the same amount is a def concern.

Shameless - I think maybe the buffet plus tapas is a much better idea. I think that could work really well but I am not sure that I like it better than family style....hummm

kclepire - Tapas is a little hard for me to explain as I have only gone to two tapas restaurants but I could see it being either small plates to tables or passed dishes. And one of my goals is to have people talk to someone they dont know. We are doing seat assignments so people will be sitting with at least some people they know but say only half the people at the table. I think either style gets people talking which is exactly what I want.

kassie - that is great to hear your family style at the PEC went well! Do you have any more details that you would want to share? Like what you served, how it came out, was it by course?

I Want Cake

I voted for family-style, too.  For a mixed crowd of family of all ages and friends, I think a traditional meal would go over better.  Tapas are fantastic, but they're also a pretty modern take on eating that not everyone may enjoy if they're expecting a full meal, plus it seems like you get way more for the price with a family-style meal.  If the goal is to get everyone talking and they're going to be sitting either way, I'd personally go with the traditional and maybe do tapas as passed appetizers instead.

t.lee

We did an all appetizer buffet at our wedding because we really like eating appetizers for dinner and because we wanted everyone to mingle.

The apps were set up at four stations that were spaced apart so things didn't get congested. We chose heavier apps so no one would leave hungry - coconut shrimp, mini crab cakes, mini burgers w/fries, bourbon tenderloin bites, chicken flatbread, ravioli w/alfredo sauce, mini ham/swiss/asparagus sandwiches and a mashed potato martini bar. The mashed potato martinis and bourbon bites were both performance stations so that added to the interactive aspect of the meal. 

Everyone loved the food. Even my MIL liked the food, and she was the person I was most worried about, cuz she is super picky. People mingled and got to know each other better, and everyone was well satisfied.

Granted, tapas is slightly different that what I did, people not used to the smaller portions served individually might not think they are getting enough. It's just a perception, those bites add up before you realize it!!

Our wedding was pretty small, only 85 people, so the size of your wedding might play into the logistics of this decision as well.  My initial plan was also a family style dinner, so I think either way is good as long as people are full and happy at the end.

kassie411

For our food we served a summer type salad

Spring Mix with strawberries, mandrain oranges and a lemon poppyseed dressing

Then main meal was one of the two:

Almond Crusted Chicken
Wild Mushroom Cream Chardonnay Thyme Cream Sauce with Garlic Mashed Potatoes.

Wild Mushroom Ravioli
Creamy Alfredo Sauce with Baby Portebello Mushrooms and Colorful Fresh Mixed Vegetables. (Vegetarian)

For dessert we had wedding cake.  I had either marble that we used for the cake cutting or red velvet with cream cheese frosting (which was a HUGE hit) we ordered that in sheets and had it served.  We used Roseville Bakery and it was fantastic.

Everyone RAVED about the food.  Even people I talk to now about the wedding still bring up how FABULOUS the food was.  THE PEC was very helpful because a few people wanted Chicken with no sauce so they made it happen.

Hope that helps... Chad and I got one dinner of each and split it.  I noticed a lot of people sharing their dinner because both were so good they couldn't choose just one.

drdifabio

Kassie - thanks so much! How did you orchestrate it? Did all the food just come out at once? How did you sever the main dishes?

kassie411

They had enough staff to serve almost everyone around the same time.

It was awesome.. we also did all the speeches after the head table had finished eating (for the most part) and everyone still was finishing up there food.  It seemed to go great because people could eat and not have to wait around while speeches were given.  Then after the speeches we did the cake. So by the time the people were completely finished with their dinners cake was being served.

They had a lot of staff on hand to make everything run super smoothly.

PS we had the same florist.. here's a picture of my boquet.. it was beautiful..

drdifabio

Kassie - that sounds great! So did you do a plated meal or family style? It almost sounds more like a plated meal. Yea I am glad you liked Sarah for your florist! That is beautiful! I cant wait to have her do mine! You know the funny thing is a I saw her the week before your wedding and she mentioned that she had a wedding that weekend - now I can put it all together! She is married to one of my coworkers so I see her stop by for lunch from time to time.