Is This Dumb or What?

em01092

Ok so remember, FMIL wants little to nothing to do with me or FI right now. Nothing has really gotten any better, so we're just trying to hold out and have a pleasant wedding day. 

So today, she sends me a forward, the first in weeks, about the "Funniest Wedding Dance Ever." It consists of a F/D dance that starts out as a slow dance and then they bust into more "fun" stuff, like YMCA and whatnot. I agree, this is cute, but it is not what we want to do! Not only do we not want to, but none of us have the time to plan/choreograph something like this. I'm like seriously? I think she is being passive aggressive as hell! FI thinks it's just an email she thought was funny. No. 

First, this is the 5th or 6th time she has sent me this email, or they have all been very very similar. Same concept. So either she has memory issues, or she knows what she's doing, and considering her history....Second, this is the first email in weeks. She isn't forwarding me every day like she used to, otherwise I wouldn't think so much of it. Third, before all of this crap, she was repeatedly giving me crap about how we needed to do more fun and lively dances. 

I feel like this is just a petty stab, and FI doesn't see it because men don't act this way. Obviously I'm not planning to reply, but I'm just annoyed. Thoughts?

inhisname2010

I think you're right because we're woman and we know how woman act BUT I say ignore it. The wedding in too close to pay her foolishness any mind. Let her send all the forwards she wants. ITS NOT HER WEDDING so you and your FI will do what you please...48 days to go...no time for stress

jillzky

Given the history, I can see why you'd feel the way you do.  I think I'd be inclined to reply back with something like, 'LOL, this is so cute. I wish we had time (and were coordinated enough) to do something like this.'  Kind of self-deprecating and still gets the point across that you're not doing it. 

I kind of feel like she's sort of just trying to make contact with you to ease the tension a little bit.  Maybe give her the benefit of the doubt this time.  From a distance, I think she's trying to thaw things a little bit. 

mybestfriend4eva

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_is-this-dumb-or-what?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:70ee44a8-2ccf-461d-b84e-84a804cac566Post:fa1fbfd6-7185-42e0-ae5e-2fa02fa45368">Re: Is This Dumb or What?</a>:
[QUOTE]Given the history, I can see why you'd feel the way you do.  I think I'd be inclined to<strong> reply back with something like, 'LOL, this is so cute. I wish we had time (and were coordinated enough) to do something like this.' </strong> Kind of self-deprecating and still gets the point across that you're not doing it.<strong>  I kind of feel like she's sort of just trying to make contact with you to ease the tension a little bit.</strong>  Maybe give her the benefit of the doubt this time.  From a distance, I think she's trying to thaw things a little bit. 
Posted by jillzky[/QUOTE]

I agree with the reply just so you let it be known this isnt for you but also not ignore her as from PP I would assume she would take no reply as a stab. Also given past history she could be making a stab but agree that she could be trying to make some contact. Either way I say reply similar to above and continue to proceed with caution. I know at this point you have to be guarded considering all that has happened but with family you never know when they will just go back to normal so to speak and try to make things better. GL girlie

[Deleted User]

Agree with PPs about the reply.  Obviously, you know her better than I  do, but I might be inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt here.  Maybe she is just trying to break the ice and is too proud to just apologize for her atrocious behavior?

em01092

I never even thought it about it that way! Back before all of the hooplah started, we used to send forwards all the time to each other, and we never replied...she never to mine, me never to hers. So I don't know what her email means, but I see what you guys are saying though. Maybe I will reply with something like you mentioned Jill. 

Also, I stand by what I said about this being the only email/forward and that being kind of, well, odd to me. If she starts emailing me stuff daily (like she used to) and includes NWR things, I'd be more inclined to think she is trying to re-establish a connection rather than being passive aggressive. And I guess part of me doesn't want to respond, because I'm still upset and I want an apology. 

cdbishop

I totally understand that it may be a little strange.  I like the idea of the reply mentioned by PP. 

rlavach

She's just desperate for attention. Some people thrive off of negative energy. I'd ignore her. You have too much to do and are clearly a much better person. No need to waste your time.