Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul

Advice Needed

My cousin e-mailed me last night asking when our gift opening was going to be.  Our wedding is June 25, 2010 and although we plan on doing a gift opening on Saturday, we havn't figured out of any of the details yet.  I think its great she is asking but the reason she wants to know is so she can plan a shower for her brother's fiance on that same weekend.  They just announced their engagement for an Aug. 28th wedding in Chicago.  My concerns are: 1) she is going to plan the shower for that Saturday and I'm going to have to work around it  2) the family is going to be concerned about a completely separate party/event that has to be set-up, entertained, etc. instead of just relaxing and enjoying my wedding. I understand her future sister-law is from Chicago and doesn't plan on being back in the Twin Cities until after the wedding ,but I still feel like it is going to affect my wedding in the end.  This is my first real freak out as a bride and I need advice.  Do I say something or just let it go and hope for the best?

Re: Advice Needed

  • edited December 2011
    Honestly, I wouldnt be to worried about the gift opening.  Maybe make yours a brunch and her shower a dinner thing.  Might I also suggest making her shower a Sunday morning brunch if she will be in town all weekend.  Not to mention not everyone likes to watch you open your presents so they might not even show up to yours unless they are close to you.  My first wedding we opened presents after the dance so if you wanted to stay you could or you could just leave.  My brother did theirs the day after their wedding and it was just immediate family that showed up.  Hope this helps.
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I agree, don't let it bother you!!  It TRULY will not affect your wedding.  I'd do a brunch and SKIP the public gift opening using hindsight 20/20...  Seriously, no one other than you and your sets of parents really need to know what people got you and they're boring as HE** to sit through especially if you've got a large guest list.  The other reason is it gives you a chance to log things better if you do them at your own pace.  We had "bowl" written down by the people taking notes and after we got our new place a few years later and really got to bring our gifts out to enjoy, that "bowl" was actually a VERY expensive CRYSTAL serving bowl..  OTOH, if you're having a small wedding, I had some friends that before the dance started they did their gift opening and it was kinda neat, but then again, there were only 25-40 of us there..

    Tell her to go ahead and schedule their party any other day that weekend and PLEASE be considerate to people who will have attended the wedding to allow them time to sleep in on Saturday KWIM (also give you and FI to have the morning to RELAX together and take a breath).. 
  • likr0401likr0401 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know it seems like a really big deal but I don't think it will affect your wedding at all.  A similar situation happened at my cousin's wedding last June.  My cousin got married on a Saturday night, and we had a baby shower for a different cousin on Sunday afternoon.  It actually worked out great because all of our out of town family got to spend time together at the wedding and also at the baby shower the next day.  HTH to calm your nerves about the whole thing :)
  • Clare13Clare13 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for all the advice.  I have taken a deep breath and found out more information about that plan for the shower.   That has also helped.  I was hopeing that we could have a more relaxed bruch/get together/gift opening the day after the wedding so we can hang out with more of the out of town guests who are staying around.  And I do agree MesmrEwe on the sleeping in part.  It sounds now like the shower will be on Sunday.  I unfortunatly will not be able to attend as we leave for our honeymoon on Saturday night.  But, it will be convienent for everyone else.  Just sorry I will have to miss it.  Again, thanks. 
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