WTF Wednesday

Steph0871

Share your open letters!

Steph0871

Dear Mother Nature,
Stop with the heat and humidity already.  I know it's July, I know it's summer... but you never gave me spring! We went straight from snow to 80 degrees.  At least cool off to below 75 at night, please.  I'm not looking forward to $100+ electric bill this month.
Sincerely,One of your 6 billion peons
Dear Work,
I haven't asked off a sick day in like 6 months.  I have a migraine. I promise I'm not lying.  Please don't make me feel guilty for missing two days of work.  Seriously, if the rest of you just did your own jobs, you wouldn't have to worry about me not doing them.  Keep stressing me out, and I can guarantee my migraine will stick around even longer.  I don't want that, and neither do you.
Thanks,The girl who does everything.

maybe984

Dear Facebook,

Thank you for all of the awkward virtual encounters with ex-boyfriends (and former friends I'm no longer fond of) that you force me to have. My addiction to you is quite real and quite potent, and has been since the early days in '04... so when you tell me 14 times a day that I should friend my ex just because we have 167 friends in common... I tend to do what you ask.

Even without you, there are occasionally those exes who will contact you every time they turn up single. They'll call you out of the blue, make small talk, ask you about your relationship status. It's always then you think to ask them about theirs, and every time they say "oh, I just broke up with so-and-so two days ago." When you tell them about your wondefully solid relationship, they'll give you a passive-aggressive form of congratulations that they try to make sound heartfelt... and then never call you again for four years.

With your help, Facebook... it's all so much more transparent... and far more awkward. You can see within seconds of logging in that they've changed their relationship status, awkwardly applauded your engagement on your wall, and left similar messages on the walls of two other girls who dated him in high school. It's like the cursory phone call but faster and more public... and all you can think is "oh God, I hope no one thinks I encourage him to do this" because no one likes the girl who's engaged to the guy of her dreams but still allows her exes to follow her around like stray puppies.

So, Facebook, my dearest of thanks to you for humbling me daily and making keeping in touch so easy even my flakey ex-boyfriend can do it.

Forever Yours,
Can't Deny a Friend Request

laura_fett

To piggyback on Maybes note

Dear Facebook,
Please stop telling me to add ex-boyfriends that are deceased, there really has to be a way to get profiles of people who are no longer alive off of facebook. It's ackward, I feel like I should contact facebook and tell them to get rid of it, but then again, I don't feel like I'm the person that should do that, what if people find that profile comforting, I don't want to take that away from anyone, but facebook should not ask me more than once if I want to add someone I've said I don't want to add as a friend.
Thanks,
Ex girlfriend

Dear potential employers for FI,
Please hire FI, we would love for him to have a job. He's a really hard worker, dedicated, and passionate. So, please give him a job, I will love you forever.
Thanks,
Loving FI

Enchanted616

Dear fat-free cream cheese,

You do not taste anything like real cream cheese.

I'm trying to diet, and you are no help.

Thanks,

Me.

maybe984

Hahaha. I love the one about fat-free cream cheese. It's so true.

Suggestion: buy the light cream cheese at Bruegger's. While not entirely fat free, it's relatively not horrible for your diet... and literally tastes exactly like the full-fat version.

beka0404

Dear Feet,

I know that I abused you when I was younger. 12 years of ballet and 3 of making you bleed in pointe shoes. Shoving you into high heels whilst cocktail waitressing in college. Walking around my house and leaving you bare and rarely buying shoes with support for your arches... Anyway, Feet, I have a favor to ask. Could you cut it out with the metatarsalgia and plantar fascitiis? I know I have abused you, but can we call a truce? Because without you I can't function well. And I miss working out and being able to walk without yelping in pain. And I miss life prior to chomping on Advil like candy.

Regards,

Kate

EmilyCMN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_wtf-wednesday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:ed59125f-fc5d-4df3-8446-5f7fa28b6015Post:efb6b208-502a-4fb8-b5c8-2b9a95b6baef">Re: WTF Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Feet, I know that I abused you when I was younger. 12 years of ballet and 3 of making you bleed in pointe shoes. Shoving you into high heels whilst cocktail waitressing in college. Walking around my house and leaving you bare and rarely buying shoes with support for your arches... Anyway, Feet, I have a favor to ask. Could you cut it out with the metatarsalgia and plantar fascitiis? I know I have abused you, but can we call a truce? Because without you I can't function well. And I miss working out and being able to walk without yelping in pain. And I miss life prior to chomping on Advil like candy. Regards, Kate
Posted by beka0404[/QUOTE]

Have you tried a good chiropractor yet? My chiropractor got my feet back in working order in a few visits. He is based out of Roseville if you are in the area I could send you his info.

Dear Boss,

Why do you always have to be out of the office when big news has to be announced that raises tons of questions and concerns? I enjoy being busy but when you are the only person who knows the information and didn't feel the need to pass it on to me before you left it makes me look bad! In the future when you expect me to field all of this stuff maybe you could set up one of your famous meetings so we can talk through it before you check out.

Thanks...

SSaltzman87

Dear Neighbor That Shares A Few Common Walls With Me and My FI:

Was it REALLY necessary to pound on the kitchen wall 10+ times while I was washing dishes last night? Be a grown up for once and actually have the balls to talk to us if you have a problem. Plus, who gives a crap when I wash my dishes! Not to mention you almost made my art in the dining room come off the wall and my dog was barking incessantly at your pounding.

Ever since we moved in, you've had SO many issues with the people around you making the LEAST bit of noise. If you have issues with noise, WHY WOULD YOU EVER MOVE INTO COMMON WALL HOUSING!? It's NEVER completely quiet! Anyone that's lived in an apartment, or even a dorm knows that! You're gonna hear people walking around, appliances being used and so on no matter what!

It was completely uncalled for you to yell at my FI while he outside one day telling him that our talking at night drives you 'crazy'. We can talk as much as we want in our own home, how dare you try to dictate how we live!

We've tried reasoning with you and coming to some sort of solution via the homeowners' association AND the property manager! We even tried contacting you ourselves and you refused to answer your door. The association keeps telling you to install more soundproofing in your condo, but you have yet to do so- it's been almost a year! You even refused to come to a meeting set up specifically to work this whole thing out.

But, your refusal to cooperate with anything just makes us look that much better than you. Plus, the president of the association lives across the hall from us and is completely on our side.

Sincerely,

Your Twenty-Something Neighbors Who Are Living Normal Lives

schmood

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_wtf-wednesday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:ed59125f-fc5d-4df3-8446-5f7fa28b6015Post:efb6b208-502a-4fb8-b5c8-2b9a95b6baef">Re: WTF Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Feet, I know that I abused you when I was younger. 12 years of ballet and 3 of making you bleed in pointe shoes. Shoving you into high heels whilst cocktail waitressing in college. Walking around my house and leaving you bare and rarely buying shoes with support for your arches... Anyway, Feet, I have a favor to ask. Could you cut it out with the metatarsalgia and plantar fascitiis? I know I have abused you, but can we call a truce? Because without you I can't function well. And I miss working out and being able to walk without yelping in pain. And I miss life prior to chomping on Advil like candy. Regards, Kate
Posted by beka0404[/QUOTE]

Have you tried custom inserts with a metatarsal pad and/or night splints for you foot issues?  The inserts should help with both issues, the night splints with the plantar fasciitis.  I'm an orthotist and work with both issues frequently....

hkiesling

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_wtf-wednesday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:ed59125f-fc5d-4df3-8446-5f7fa28b6015Post:efb6b208-502a-4fb8-b5c8-2b9a95b6baef">Re: WTF Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Feet, I know that I abused you when I was younger. 12 years of ballet and 3 of making you bleed in pointe shoes. Shoving you into high heels whilst cocktail waitressing in college. Walking around my house and leaving you bare and rarely buying shoes with support for your arches... Anyway, Feet, I have a favor to ask. Could you cut it out with the metatarsalgia and plantar fascitiis? I know I have abused you, but can we call a truce? Because without you I can't function well. And I miss working out and being able to walk without yelping in pain. And I miss life prior to chomping on Advil like candy. Regards, Kate
Posted by beka0404[/QUOTE]

My feet used to hate me as well (years of martial arts).  I had terrible plantar fascitis.  What finally worked for me was hydrogen peroxide. Took them away in about a month.

newlyseliski

Dear younger sister,

While I am very happy for you and your new fiance and have no doubt that you will both be very happy... please don't expect me to be super excited for you all the time since you both decided to get married 6 months before my fiance and I without even having the courtesy to ask us if we minded.... and also despite the fact that you've both only been dating for a year, were engaged after us, and my fiance and I have been dating for far longer with far more challenging circumstances that you've never had to deal with. 

I also won't sympathize with you about how someone wanted to charge you $2 per invite to address them in calligraphy.  Your fiance's parents are paying for most of it, so stop whining.

Love, your big sister

(I will probably delete this soon in case my sister stalks these boards at all... thanks for the opportunity to vent, Stephanie!)

beka0404

In response to the foot advice - thank you! It's less plantar fasciitis and more metatarsalgia. My mom is a nurse and is all over me to go to the doctor to check for Morton's neuroma, but I've been self-caring with ice and ibuprofen and rest. I ran yesterday - foolish! - so my feet were super bad. I bought some arch supports and some metatarsal pads for my shoes and I'm crossing my fingers. If it's still bad in August I'll go in to the doc.

Man. B*tching about my feet makes me feel like an OLD LADY.

(Hkiesling, I don't think we're thinking of the same thing - plantar fasciitis is internal...)

I Want Cake

I know it's late, but I need to vent:

Dear hips/back,

Quit fucking hurting so goddamn bad I can't move!  Because of you, I can't take less than 20 minutes to wash myself in the morning, and that makes me run even later than normal, which means I don't have time to let Wesley out for a little playtime before I go to work.  You've made me waste 2 days of sick time this week seeing doctors, and the problem is still not solved.

Dear Percocet,

Quit making me throw up.  You're effective at killing pain, but it doesn't matter if I end up vomiting you out anyway.

Dear Moron Doctor,

The pain, once again, is in my hips, not my gut.  Do not send me for CT scans to address the part of my body that is not causing the problems.  Do not make me drink nasty barium shakes that make me sick.  Do not make me spend literally 3 hours in waiting rooms over the course of 2 days if you're not going to fix what's wrong with me.

Dear Wesley,

Mommy is in pain and can't be as much fun as she usually is.  You've been a very patient dog and I love you.  I couldn't ask for a better dog.  I promise I'll get you some really good treats.

MN_Jen

Dear theknot.com,

If I get fired because of you, I would appreciate it if you help me pay my rent.

Also, please stop switching me over to thenest.com whenever I log on.  I know its kinda lame of me to stop by every day even though I've been married for 6 weeks, but please stop reminding me.  Thenest.com is boring, and I don't know anyone over there.  I want to keep playing here.

Hugs and kisses,
Jenni