So, after reading Shan's post about her BM advice, I figured I should voice my concern about one of mine...or, well, I'm not really sure IF she is a BM or not.
I asked the girls and my Man of Honor within a week of getting engaged (back in September) if they would be my BM's. All except one confirmed relatively quickly. The other, well, she is a little more complicated. I sent her an "ecard" asking her to be my BM, as I did wtih all the other girls. She never responded directly, so after about half a week, I texted her asking if she got my email. She responded that she did, but that she wanted to talk to me in person about it. I said that was fine, and about a week or so later, we met at a coffee shop to talk that, among other life/catching-up things. I asked her if she had made a decision and she more or less completely avoided the question. I brushed it off, figuring she was still deciding, and knowing of her financial issues, I understood and didn't want to pressure her.
Fast forward about 2 weeks, we arranged to get together again, at my apartment. I had asked her if she had decided on being a BM, and she said she wanted to talk to me more about that, and how it pertained to her concerns about her "illness"..... Ok her newly diagnosed illness was in August, and the doctor told her she has IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) ... She is being a little bit of a drama queen about it, and I feel bad for saying that because it is never fun to have a condition like that. BUT, I feel like she is making it into something way bigger than it needs to be for everyone else to know about it. (She made a Facebook post for everyone to see that she had this new illness and how she doesn't want anyone to judge her if she can't eat something or if she wants to stay home etc.... she basically made it sound like she had cancer instead of problems in the bathroom)
After hanging out again, she still never directly answered the question as to whether she would be a BM or not, using her illness as an ambiguous answer.
Now, I am not getting married until January of 2012, and I really do want her to be a BM. She is my first friend I've ever had, and since she is a year younger than me, we have been friends literally since she was born. (Her dad has been lifelong friends with mine) We grew up together and while we've had times of distance, we aren't at that type of place right now and I consider her one of my closest friends. It would mean a lot for me to have her in the wedding. Her finances are extremely rocky and if that was her prime concern, I would have no qualms about paying for her dress, because it means that much to me for her to be there. I guess I'm just wondering what you girls think is a reasonable time frame to wait for a response... I am not planning on retracting the invitation because I think that is incredibly tacky and rude. I feel like it is also rude to give an ultimatim but there is a certain point in planning that I need to know the actual count of BM's that I have.... blargh..any advice?
