Head Table

graysquirrel

So I was lurking on the etiquette board and people were saying that significant others should not be separated-- like if a groomsman has a girlfriend, she should sit by him. Is this the way it is done?  I've never heard of dates of bridal party members getting to sit at the head table.

beka0404

I've never been to a wedding where the significant others sat at the head table. I have, however, been to weddings where the wedding party sat at regular tables with their significant others. I think it's a nice gesture, especially if your WP is mostly married and coupled-off.

We've opted against an old-school head table, because I'd rather gouge my eyes out than have a room full of people watching me eat. Also, we're in our 30s and most of our WP are married or in long term relationships, and we wanted to have our friends' spouses be included because they're important to us. We have three rounds of 12 reserved in the center of our venue. At the "head" table will be me, FI, our parents, the matron of honor and her family and the best man and his girlfriend. The other tables will be the rest of the wedding party and their dates.

shan87

We are doing it old school and having us and the WP at the head table. Then have a table of spouses at the front. When you think about it you spend like 30mins eating which too me isn't that bad. I've been to weddings as a BM and my FI wasn't even invited.... needless to say seating away from each other is not the end of the world.

kkaew816

I think either way is fine, at our wedding we had our bridal party's SOs sit at the head table with us, but we also had a fairly small bridal party (3 each).

I don't think it's tacky to have a traditional head table, like shan87 said, dinner lasts only like 30 min-1 hour and I think people can handle being separated from their SOs for that long!

dcprep

We had a head table -- our room was conducive to having a long table for us. But dinner doesn't take THAT long, and people get up and mill around anyway to go to the bar and stuff. I've been in weddings where there is no head table, and it's nice to be able to sit with DH for dinner, but I also think it's kind of fun to be at the head table and feel like a member of the wedding party too

Mrs TK

I was set on having wp and so's at the head table, but after I realized that some of the WP was bringing their kids I realized that those 2 wives needed to sit at the table with their kids so we only had WP at the head table.  Honestly it goes by so quickly and the WP had left the head table to go get drinks, mingle so it was maybe 15-20 mins of them being separated.

KateJ10

I'm going to go against the grain here and say I HATED being at a wedding and not knowing basically anyone but my FI, and he was seated at a head table while I was sitting with people I had never met for a good hour while eating. I do understand that is how it is commonly done, but I wouldn't want people to feel uncomfortable if they don't know anyone. So I do intend to keep all members of the party with their significant others/families because I think they would enjoy it much more. I won't do a head table, maybe a sweetheart table?  And have the members of the party sitting close to us?

But I guess something to consider is that I am pretty introverted so talking to strangers isn't easy for me. If it was a smaller party having the significant others eat with you would probably be really appreciated.

saintpaulJess

If you can make it happen, I think it's nice to be able to sit with your SO at the head table.

I've had it both ways, though.

wittyschaffy

Our "head table" was just a regular old round set in the middle, not on a riser, just like everyone elses.  We did not have SOs sitting with us because there wasn't enough room but we made sure that SOs sat with people they knew. 

debbieupper

I don't think it's terrible to have a long headtable without SOs, but I do think it's much more enjoyable for the WP if they can sit with their SOs. I have at least one bridesmaid who said her bf wasn't coming if he had to sit alone (I asked her, she didn't come right out and say it). It's not a stubborn thing - it's just that a lot of people really feel uncomfortable sitting with strangers. I'm not one of those people, so it's good to be reminded of that.

We are doing a u-shaped giant head table like this:

We'll have 23 people at it (WP + their guests), and it will look something like this, but we'll have people on both sides, save for the side opposite me and FI:

Just another option for you!

tpender13

I've never seen SOs at a head table w/the WP. I thought some of those posts were nuts, too. We're not doing a head table, mainly because we're only having a best man and MOH. We're doing round tables w/8 people at each, and our table will be in the center w/6 settings for myself, FI, best man and his FI, and my MOH and her H. MOH has kids, but her parents will be there so we'll seat the kids w/their grandparents.

katherine.c.johns

We are having spouses sit at the head table with the wedding party. Our WP is not very big, so it isn't a big deal. I just remember that my FI felt kind of awkward at my sister's wedding because I was literally the only person (besides my parents) that he knew at the wedding, and he couldn't sit by me! So, I guess it's just more comfortable that way.

beka0404

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_head-table?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:fa674343-f3c7-4a8d-b76e-d3e147ed331ePost:26786d32-7758-4fd3-80ce-c2817e6309c3">Re: Head Table</a>:
[QUOTE]I've never been to a wedding where the significant others sat at the head table.
Posted by beka0404[/QUOTE]

<div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span">Actually, I take that back - I have been to a wedding that had spouses/SOs at the head table. The couple had a big long family style table (much like Debbie's) with the guests seated at rounds surrounding the head table. It was a really cool, setup, and the head table looked like they were having a blast - it was not a "just sit here for 20 mins" type of thing.</span></div>

I Want Cake

I would like to have SOs at the head table, too, but I'm not sure if it'll be feasable because 2 of the groomsmen have lots of kids (4 each) that will need to be tended to.  It'd feel weird to let some of the BP's SOs sit with us while others have to sit with everyone else.  It's an issue I'm waffling on.  I don't want a sweetheart table or a table on a stage because I don't want people to stare at me while I eat, so ideally our head table would have people on both sides except for the 2 spaces right in front of FI and I so people can still get good pictures of us.  We're also not doing the typical boy-girl-boy-girl seating.  If we did this, I'd be stuck talking to FI's brother instead of my BFF, which would be miserable.

ChelsiLynn

We are doing a "captain's table" where it is basically a long head table but the chairs go on both sides of the table. There will be 21 people total and I think its going to work out pretty awesome.  FI and I have both been on receiving end of not knowing anybody else at a wedding and having to sit alone.  It only usually lasts about an hour but I just know how uncomfortable I felt in that situation and I won't do it to anyone else. 

graysquirrel

Thanks for the input, girls! I think I will go ahead with our head table the traditional way because most of us know each other or will by the time we have to eat.