Missouri-Kansas City

scary time

a few months ago i went to the lady doctor after having a week of horrible pain that would make me double over. she told me nothing was wrong but scheduled an ultrasound. in the ultrasound they found a softball sized cyst in my ovary that had burst making me bleed as badly as i was. at this point i had gone two weeks with what my doctor told me were the equivalent of labor pains.
she told me that if i get another one it will effect my fertility, my mother was unable to have children after 25 and her mother 30. as of a few days ago i am starting to have the same pains again but my doctor told me its not commen to get them that big twice.
because im only 20 years old i know that i shouldnt be thinking about having babies while planning my wedding, but with the information my doctor has told me, now may be the only time to have my large family. i just dont know what i would do if i was unable to have babies, as ive always dreamed of be a mommy. its causing stress between my FI and i. he says that if the doctor tells me i will be unfertile then we can go ahead and start trying. but if she tells me that it may be too late.
before i got the pains again i thought about it but not this much, now im freaking out and i honestly dont know what to do.
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Re: scary time

  • edited December 2011
    First of all, regardless if it is common for cysts to get that big a second time, if you are having pain see your doctor. Better safe than sorry.

    As far as starting a family have you and FI talked about all options, like starting a family early so you can have biological children or adopting?  What about surrogacy?

    I would talk these things over and maybe even make an appointment with your doctor so you both can be present and talk with her about your options for starting a family.

    It is a tough situation but you don't want to bring a baby into an environment that isn't ready for it.  Talk options with FI and make an appointment with either your doctor or a family planning therapist.
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  • sncbridesncbride
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    he was there for all of my appointments because i was scared shitless. i honestly feel selfish to say that i wanna feel my own baby move inside me rather then to do a surrgocy. we have talked to my doctor several times and she says that the cyst was large enough to make me not ovulate for some time and it stretched it out, i have an appointment coming up to see if my ovary went back down to the normal size, i guess.

    we have talked about it and the hardest thing for us is the fact that we are both in colllege right now and working opposite shifts. we would be fine financially and we would have everything. i think once we found out id be expecting he would be excited, but its a scary thing.
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  • kelleyku05kelleyku05
    1000 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I've had 3 cysts burst over that past couple years.  And I actually have on right now, that could burst anytime.  They are starting to scar which could cause fertility problems.  I also have a uterine fibroid.  Fun talk!!!  So I know how you feel in a way.  However, FI and I have discussed not having kids and focusing on "us" so I'm focusing on my health and our wedding and not stressing about babies right now. 
  • sncbridesncbride
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    has your doctor said anything about your fertility then? its good to know theres other people out there that have the same issue i have.
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  • kelleyku05kelleyku05
    1000 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    She has mentioned that it can cause infertility, but hasn't gone in to great detail.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm sorry this is such a scary time. I would definately have further conversations with your doctor and I think a family planning specialist is a great idea. You may still have a few years before you have anymore problems, and then maybe you will be ready.
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