Rehearsal dinner invite question

ChiGirl2013

We have to have final counts in to our caterer in a couple of weeks, so invites for our rehearsal dinner need to go out in the next few days.  The problem is.... people aren't sending back their RSVP cards, so I have no idea who's coming and who isn't.  The guest list we have for our rehearsal dinner has about 20 people on it, and I only know for sure that 6 will be coming to the wedding.  (It's a destination wedding, so even some of the VIP's may not be able to make it. I've hinted around but they still can't seem to commit at 6 weeks out.)

The wedding RSVP deadline is this Friday, but we all know I'll end up calling a few people who don't send their cards back.  And if I wait  until I know for sure if everyone is coming to the wedding, they will have less than a week to respond to the RD invite. 

So what do I do - just send the RD invites to all the VIP's whether I know they're coming or not? 

Also, am I supposed to invite our officiant to the RD?  What about the photographer that we're flying in?  (I thought it would be a nice gesture and give her a free meal, but I don't want her to think I expect her to take pics at the RD.)

[Deleted User]

I would definitely invite the officiant.  I would probably also invite the photographer but just explain that you just want her to come and enjoy and not work that event.

Do you have your heart set on sending out paper invites for the RD?  If so, then yes, just send them to everyone(the 20) even if they haven't RSVP'd to the wedding yet.  Maybe it will get them in gear to send in their RSVP or at least call you and let you know their plans.

If your heart isn't set on sending out paper invites, would you be opposed to just relying on word of mouth and/or sending an e-vite?  It seems like a faster way to get the information out there and to get the info you need back: how many people does the caterer prepare for?  I don't want to speak for your guests but it seems like anyone who is flying/driving to a DW would probably accept an invitation to RD but you never know.

Hope that helps :-)

ChiGirl2013

Oh, if they're coming to the wedding, I have no doubt they'd go to the RD.  The problem is, I don't know if they're coming to the wedding.  lol

I already have the paper invites because 4 of the people invited don't have/use computers - so an e-vite wouldn't work.  I think I'll just drop them in the mail like you said and hopefully that will give them a kick in the behind to get the RSVP card back to me.

Now all I need to do is track down an address for the officiant.  He came as part of a "package" through our coordinator and as far as I know, he doesn't belong to any particular church - he just does weddings for this company. I've tried google but all I can find are 2 articles that mention him.... no address.  Maybe I'll just send it to the coordinator's office and hope he gets it.

tiny speck

I would go ahead and just send out all the RD invitations even if you're still waiting for wedding rsvps. Obviously if guests decide they can't make the wedding they'll rsvp no to the RD as well. I don't think it's a big deal. And yeah, definitely invite the officiant; I think it's a nice gesture to invite the photographer too---just reiterate to her over the phone or when you have your final meeting that you don't expect her to be working that day.

FutureMrsKupko

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_rehearsal-dinner-invite-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:043324ca-ea9b-4220-b84f-33f511755b05Post:95fcfc4c-b9ac-4db1-ab04-69f61f20c0db">Re: Rehearsal dinner invite question</a>:
[QUOTE]I would go ahead and just send out all the RD invitations even if you're still waiting for wedding rsvps. Obviously if guests decide they can't make the wedding they'll rsvp no to the RD as well. I don't think it's a big deal. And yeah, definitely invite the officiant; I think it's a nice gesture to invite the photographer too---just reiterate to her over the phone or when you have your final meeting that you don't expect her to be working that day. :)
Posted by tiny speck[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This! I invited our photographer and she just offered to take pictures for free! Its a nice gesture and I doubt they will think that you are trying to get freebie pics. In my situation, we are paying for her hotel since its an out of town wedding. So it made sense to also invite her to RD so we would cover her meal too.

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