Not sure what to think...

singswtheart

I have been engaged since October and we have the wedding date set for April 2013. We have paid a few deposits and have some money out there already. My fiance and I are really good together except a few problems. These problems make me nervous and I have become more aware of them since we got engaged and I think we need to start growing up. He spends money like it is going out of style and has debt because of that. I have a problem with that and keep explaining we need to take care of this because I don't want the debt in my name when we get married and we need to save to buy a home before the wedding. The other thing is that he drinks. He gets lost when he drinks and just drinks a little to much when he is around certain friends. If he isn't around those friends he is just fine. I have told him my concerns so many times and he just keeps saying thats how he has fun and that he wants to enjoy his age (24). I just don't understand what to do or say. I think about it all the time and it makes me want to cancel the wedding but then its like him and I are really good together when he isn't being dumb with his money which usually goes hand in hand with his drinking. He drinks socailly and not every weekend so he is not an alcoholic. Any thoughts would be great or advice. We are having a coaching session from our officiant but that doesn't start until January of 13. Thanks!

eddiesgirl11

If that was me I would definitly stop making wedding plans until you both have a serious talk and I would say before January. If you love him and you both want to work it out you can always postpone the wedding, many vendors will work with you on that.
The most important thing to remember is : Its not a wedding you are  planning it is a marriage. If it is not working out now when you both are living apart ( i assume) and dont own a home, what will happen when you have a mortgage and stress?

Best of luck!

audrewuh

Put the wedding on hold. Seek counseling now, not in January. These issues aren't going away and I've seen them tear apart my bff's marriage. Get professional help, and do it quickly.

ChiGirl2013

I don't think you need to cancel anything, but a nice long chat is definitely in order.  Tell him how you feel.  Tell him that you need stability and security and that his drinking and spending are making you uncomfortable.  Maybe if he knows that it bothers you enough to make you think of postponing the wedding, it will be the kick in the pants he needs to turn things around. 

If your officiant is someone you know, maybe you can call and ask him to mediate the discussion, or point you in the direction of a couple's retreat.  There's nothing that says you have to wait until January to involve a clergy member if he/she is someone you trust and someone who you feel would give good advice. 

Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable walking down the aisle until the problems you mentioned were under control.  While I don't think it's necessary to have a house before you get married, the drinking and overspending ARE major issues and they definitely won't go away just because you've exchanged your I Do's. 

Good luck with your talk and I hope things get better for both of you.  *HUG*