April 2013 Weddings

Confessions/Vents

Got anything you need to get off of your chest?
image 

Re: Confessions/Vents

  • Confession 1: I have been feeling bummed out lately. Tomorrow is my birthday and even though I knew I wouldn't see FI because of work, it has started to sink in and it just sucks. Because of that I don't really want to do anything, with anyone lol.

    Confession 2: It will be my last birthday before I am married and it is kind of freaking me out. More so about losing my last name than anything. Majority of people call me by my initials, vk, and people have started joking that they will no longer be able to call me that anymore and I wanted to cry! I know I am making it into a bigger deal than it is, but it just makes everything more real and kind of scary!

    Vent: I have been working out pretty decently since January. I have done plyometrics one day a week for the past 4 months and running a few days a week. My legs have seen some major improvement, but that is where it stops. I've been doing a core/arm workout for a few weeks now and nothing. It is discouraging and frankly pisses me off lol. Out of nowhere these so called love handles appeared and I am afraid they love my hips so much they don't want to go away.
    image 
  • Confession:  I hate going grocery shopping with my FI.  I've been buying my own groceries for 13 years now - I know what I want.  When he questions me ("Do you really need 3 kinds of snacks"), I want to hit him.  Right there in the store.  I don't know why it bothers me so much.  We're already pooling our money so, yeah, he gets a say, but geez.

    Confession: It's selfish and mean, but we are now supposed to spend time with FMIL once a week and I don't want to.  She got upset when she realized how much time we spend with my family.  I wouldn't mind except that when his family gets together, they don't speak English so I just sit there the whole time making FI translate.  It's not fun!  Plus, she wants to do it on weeknights and they don't eat until after 8.  My bed time is 9pm (lame, I know).  So we don't get home till past my bed time and that makes me even grumpier.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to Re: Confessions/Vents:
    Confession:  I hate going grocery shopping with my FI.  I've been buying my own groceries for 13 years now - I know what I want.  When he questions me ("Do you really need 3 kinds of snacks"), I want to hit him.  Right there in the store.  I don't know why it bothers me so much.  We're already pooling our money so, yeah, he gets a say, but geez.
    Posted by sleepyb
    I can't go food shopping with FI either.  I feel like he looks down on everything I put in the cart. He does most of the cooking so I let him food shop but then I have no quick food for me and DD so I end up sneaking out to the store anyways.  Whenever we go together it is always a fight.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Confession: I am in a bad mood, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.  There are just some days when you want people to leave you the heck alone and today is one of them.  And yes, that includes all the soccer moms at my daughter's school who always manage to look like they're on their way to a photo shoot at 8AM, when I know for a fact they're all stay at home moms who are just going home to wash the dishes.  And no, I do not care that I look like a bum in my ponytail and jeans.  They're lucky I'm there, I have brushed my teeth, and I'm not naked.  That's about as "put together" as I get at that hour of the morning.

    Vent: FI seriously needs to stop leaving empty water bottles, soda bottles, etc laying all over the house or he may very well come home and find them dumped all over his side of the bed.  I am his future wife, not his maid!  UGH!  (Anyone else living with/marrying someone like this?  I would love suggestions on how to fix this, or at least keep myself from becoming a nag.)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    58 invited image | 17 love destination weddings image
    20 can't make it image | 21 don't know what to do with a RSVP card image
    RSVP Deadline: March 8th
  • In Response to Re: Confessions/Vents:
    Confession: I am in a bad mood, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.  There are just some days when you want people to leave you the heck alone and today is one of them.  And yes, that includes all the soccer moms at my daughter's school who always manage to look like they're on their way to a photo shoot at 8AM, when I know for a fact they're all stay at home moms who are just going home to wash the dishes.  And no, I do not care that I look like a bum in my ponytail and jeans.  They're lucky I'm there, I have brushed my teeth, and I'm not naked.  That's about as "put together" as I get at that hour of the morning. Vent: FI seriously needs to stop leaving empty water bottles, soda bottles, etc laying all over the house or he may very well come home and find them dumped all over his side of the bed.  I am his future wife, not his maid!  UGH!  (Anyone else living with/marrying someone like this?  I would love suggestions on how to fix this, or at least keep myself from becoming a nag.)
    Posted by ChiGirl2013
    I hear ya! but with my FI, it's his dirty underwear that he insists on leaving in front of the sink in the bathroom (I get that that's where you take them off before you get in the shower, but the hamper is RIGHT OUTSIDE THE FREAKING DOOR! drives me crazy! I don't think there is any way to change this though because when we went to visit his mom (we live 2 hours away from our families) I went into her bathroom and there were his dirty undies/pants on her bathroom floor from when he had stayed there weeks before! I guess some behaviors are irreversible? If you find a way to change that, CHIGIRL please teach me your ways! :) lol
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • In Response to Re: Confessions/Vents:
    Confession:  I hate going grocery shopping with my FI.  I've been buying my own groceries for 13 years now - I know what I want.  When he questions me ("Do you really need 3 kinds of snacks"), I want to hit him.  Right there in the store.  I don't know why it bothers me so much.  We're already pooling our money so, yeah, he gets a say, but geez. Confession: It's selfish and mean, but we are now supposed to spend time with FMIL once a week and I don't want to.  She got upset when she realized how much time we spend with my family.  I wouldn't mind except that when his family gets together, they don't speak English so I just sit there the whole time making FI translate.  It's not fun!  Plus, she wants to do it on weeknights and they don't eat until after 8.  My bed time is 9pm (lame, I know).  So we don't get home till past my bed time and that makes me even grumpier.
    Posted by sleepyb
    Haha! I feel the same when my FI says "you don't really need mountain dew" (he's a bodybuilder). I say "I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't really do anything bad so I'M GOING TO DRINK MY MT. DEW!" 
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Vent/confession: I totally lost it yesterday. Cried for probably a good solid hour, and then again about 3 hours after that. It started with looking for a reception location, looking at prices, and looking at our budget. Living in SoCal, wedding around here average around $30-40k. At least if you look at the packages I keep seeing and have a good sized guest list like we do. Which snowballed into a complicated, difficult convo with fi about how many people we're inviting, why we're inviting "so many people" (according to him), and us not going into debt and wanting to afford things like a honeymoon and kids in a few years. He mentioned that just HAVING a kid (neo-natal/birth) can run $9k. And I sent myself into a shame spiral about not having finished school, and that affording this would be so much easier if I had a full time job. And because of all this, I started completely reconsidering everything about the wedding: guest list, type, time of year, why I thought I even wanted a wedding in the first place and all the other things about it...

    When I came home from choir last night, I lost it again while i was trying to go to sleep. And when I lose it like this, it just spirals an spirals into horrible dark places where I even question if I want to be with my fi. Which is so rediculous when I'm not freaking out, because I love him so much and cannot imagine my life without him. We even talked about how if heaven is anything where you recognise the people you knew in life, that we couldn't imagine not wanting to be without each other after death...LAST NIGHT! We had this conversation before this rediculous downward spiral at 1 in the morning of mine. Granted, it had been several hours, but it was rediculous. I felt like I had no control over my brain and where it was going, or my eyes and how much I was crying. Which of course took me to the best place I could go-crying to God. I heard recently that not only does God hear our prayers, but our cries and our screams too. And as soon as I reached the place of aiming my self pity at God, instead of just floating around in my apartment, I started to calm down. I felt reassurance. That I'm worthy of my life, that I am worthy of love, and of fi's love, and that he truely loves me, and that as long as we love each other, whatever we do for our wedding will be fine. That even if we have to cut our guest list, people will still love us/me. I've been struggling with feelings of pressure and uncertainty because I feel that everyone (EVERYONE!) at my church will judge me forever based on this wedding. And they may, but they probably won't, and it doesn't matter if they do. Because there is one thing I am certain of: I love fi, he loves me, we want to be married and have a life together, we are going to do that, and the rest is gravy.

    And now I feel like my confession is heavier than most of yours and I may be burdening the board, but that is not my intention. It is to share my new hope, and to possibly to give some to anyone else who has any doubts about their wedding. If you love him, and he loves you, even if you ran off to the courthouse tomorrow, your life would not end. We will not die if we don't have big weddings, small detailed weddings, or really anything other than pledging your mutual love and commitment to each other. And your friends and family will love you no matter what, if they truely love you at all.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    April 2013 September Siggy Challenge
    image
    Red Horse Barn, Huntington Beach, CA
  • In Response to Re: Confessions/Vents:
    Vent: FI seriously needs to stop leaving empty water bottles, soda bottles, etc laying all over the house or he may very well come home and find them dumped all over his side of the bed.  I am his future wife, not his maid!  UGH!  (Anyone else living with/marrying someone like this?  I would love suggestions on how to fix this, or at least keep myself from becoming a nag.)
    Posted by ChiGirl2013
    Sit down with fi and talk about this. I bet you already have, but try again. I am your fi in my relationship. I leave stuff all over. Fi often cleans up after me. But I learn better to do things for myself when people don't clean up after me. It forces me to deal with it. Stop asking him to clean up. Tell him that you are not his maid, he needs to clean up after himself, you won't do it for him. And maybe add a consequence or a reward. When he does clean up, praise him for it. Make him a special treat or give him an extra hug and kiss (a good kiss). Or tell him you won't make food for him if he can't clean up after himself. There is a way to compromise with someone who tends to be less clean than you. But you may also have to develop a slightly thicker skin on this one. The only way to not be a nag, is to not nag...
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    April 2013 September Siggy Challenge
    image
    Red Horse Barn, Huntington Beach, CA
  • ChiGirl2013ChiGirl2013
    500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    member
    edited April 2012
    In Response to Re: Confessions/Vents:
    In Response to Re: Confessions/Vents : Sit down with fi and talk about this. I bet you already have, but try again. I am your fi in my relationship. I leave stuff all over. Fi often cleans up after me. But I learn better to do things for myself when people don't clean up after me. It forces me to deal with it. Stop asking him to clean up. Tell him that you are not his maid, he needs to clean up after himself, you won't do it for him. And maybe add a consequence or a reward. When he does clean up, praise him for it. Make him a special treat or give him an extra hug and kiss (a good kiss). Or tell him you won't make food for him if he can't clean up after himself. There is a way to compromise with someone who tends to be less clean than you. But you may also have to develop a slightly thicker skin on this one. The only way to not be a nag, is to not nag...
    Posted by shipsinthenight
    Yup, we've had this talk ad nauseum.  He still doesn't get it.  If I left it there, it would sit there for weeks, and I'm not the type to leave things laying around to attract ants and such.  Plus, now our 4 year old is picking up his bad habit and leaving all of HER crap laying around for me to pick up as well.  So last night we had a come to Jesus talk and I told him that If I find anything that he has left on the floor for me to clean up, I get to hit him over the head with it as hard as I can.  Hopefully my new strategy works.  I mean, we've lived together for 8 years.  The man is 42.  It's getting a little old.

    And yes, jesslynn, if physical abuse works, I'll be sure to let you know.  lol
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    58 invited image | 17 love destination weddings image
    20 can't make it image | 21 don't know what to do with a RSVP card image
    RSVP Deadline: March 8th
  • Chi, I'm worried that at 42 his bad habbit may totally engrained. I'm 27, so I think I'm probably a little more teachable. Hopefully you will be able to work it out. And if I had a 4 year old picking up that habbit, I would be upset too. Good luck.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    April 2013 September Siggy Challenge
    image
    Red Horse Barn, Huntington Beach, CA
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards