April 2013 Weddings

Oh my god I am fuming

So apparently my stepdad wants to divorce my mother and has been talking to a married woman whose husband has no idea that she's talking to my stepdad. I just texted my stepdad asking if his parents are coming to the wedding and he starts on a tirade "whats the name of the hotel, I'm not sharing a room with your mother." I responded my mom got 3 rooms and he needs to stay in a separate one anyway cause the kids need to be all split up cause there's only 2 beds in each room. He says "good as long as I don't sleep in the same room as her." 

He then proceeds to tell me he's bringing a guest, aka this married woman. Over a text message he tells me. I'm like "um hell no you are not, I'm not paying for your homewrecker to come cause drama on my WEDDING DAY" and then he tells me me and my mom have bled him dry and that's why he's got all these financial issues now. Keep in mind I've thought of this man as a father for the past 10 years. So I'm pretty much sobbing and told him he's not welcome at my wedding if that's how he really feels about me. He then replies "fine but my children won't be there either" aka my 2 sisters and 2 brothers, my flower girls and ring bearers. I'm just like... wow. Over my DEAD BODY will they not be there. 

I don't even know what to do right now. I just don't understand why I had to be involved in the middle of drama my stepdad is causing. My mom had no idea he's been talking to this woman and wanted a divorce until last week. And the week before that they had just went on a date and bought a new car together for my mom to drive since she totaled hers in the accident she was in. 

Sorry for rambling but I happened to be on the computer when all this happened and it's a little late to call anyone.... WHyyyy does there need to be any more added stress so close to my wedding. I don't get it. 
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Re: Oh my god I am fuming

  • Im so sorry that you have to be in the middle of it all! It des suck being so close to your wedding!!! Especially now that he doesnt want your brothers and sister there :( Hopefully things will ge worked out and your day will be amazing!! I know it sounds crazy, but the day of your wedding, give your phone to your maid of honor, that way anything that comes through to you she can try and handle. Thats what im doing... i want to relax and be excited on my day, dont need any more drama!! :)

    JUST BREATHE!!! :)
  • Thank you.. Yeah I've got enough on my plate right now and it's always SOMETHING with my family. I'm sick of being the only mature adult in my family who doesn't thrive off of negative energy. It makes me sick. Believe me the day of my wedding I don't give two shits about whoever is mad at who or what, I'm over it. Like grow UP people!! Damn. I need to go to bed now.. Lol
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  • lol, we have some people like that in our family. im sure everyone does! Its your day, take it all in!! :)
  • Oh wow, I am so sorry to hear that! I can't believe he told you all this over text message. Wow. I don't know what to say. Family drama is one thing but dumping it all on you now is something else! :(
  • ChiGirl2013ChiGirl2013 member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited March 2013
    I'm so sorry to hear that you have to deal with all this - especially so close to your wedding.  And I'm sorry your stepdad is being such a douche.  Is there any way you can reach out to your mom so SHE can make sure they are there?  That sucks that he's using them as pawns in his divorce/arguments with you and your mom.  I hope the karma train slams right into him head-on!  *HUGS*

    Honestly, I'd try to get in touch with your siblings, make sure they have your contact info, and make sure they know that it's their FATHER who is denying them their place at your wedding, not you.  I'm sure he's going to tell them otherwise and painting you and your mom to be the bad guys. 
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  • That is a d!ck move of him.  I am so sorry that you have to deal with this.  Talk to your Mom about the kids, they are her kids too and they belong at your wedding!  I am sure they are very excited about seeing their big sis as a bride.  I don't know what else to say but sorry that he is being such a selfish ass.
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  • I'm so sorry you are dealing with this!! Seriously what a ahole move of him! As for your brothers and sisters, he has no say over them if they are your mom's kids too, so don't even worry about that. He'll regret pulling this move the rest of his life, so sucks for him. I'm just sorry that you are having this before your wedding. Just remember, after the wedding you will have a nice vacation and then if you want to, you can pull back from your family drama into your new little family of you and your husband!
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  • I don't have anything to add other than what PP's have said but just wanted to say I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this.  And feel free to vent.  ((Hugs))
  • That totally sucks!  I agree with PPs that your mom should have a say in whether or not her kids participate in the wedding.  And if they're not her kids, then I would even go so far as to reach out to their mother and find out her thoughts/feelings on the whole thing. 
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  • Oh my word! I am so sorry. I know this may sound cliche, but I sincerely mean that I'll pray for you. I can't imagine going through that. No words we say will make it better, I know, but I hope you have an amazing wedding!
  • Wow thank you all so much! Your responses almost had me in tears lol! It helps a lot to see people reaching out. He really is being an a hole and apparently he was drinking last night, and has been drinking a lot lately. Not okay. He called me today but I missed it and he said he was gonna call me later. I'm not sure if I want to really speak with him right now. Some things are impossible to unhear.. And the kids will definitely be there. No way in hell my mom would let him do that. I feel bad for her too, she was totally blindsided and is trying to keep a happy face for me..
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    RSVP Deadline: 4/6/13
    4/26/13 March Siggy Challenge: Bridesmaid Dresses

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