You'd think I would know better by now....

ChiGirl2013

Why do I even bother telling my family about our wedding plans when I know darn good and well that all they're going to do is complain?  Seriously.  I think they're trying to be nice by asking, so I tell them, and they find SOMETHING to complain about.  Today, it was the cake.  I'm sorry but we're doing a destination wedding and I don't have the money to fly down there just for a cake tasting.  So yeah - I have to rely on online reviews and recommendations from locals.  (Said baker has over 3,000 reviews all raving about her, 5 out of 5 stars, and an A+ with the BBB.  I don't know how we could do any better than this.)  I'm sorry you don't like that and if you are THAT upset about the freakin cake, DON'T EAT ANY!!!!  Or, better yet, take that piece of cake and stuff it where the sun doesn't shine.  I could care less.  It's just a friggin piece of cake.  It's not the end of the world.

Someone please tell me again WHY I have not learned my lesson after nearly 2 years of planning.  You'd think that after having this happen multiple times, I would know better.

abbyizzymommy

Sweetie, of course you keep talking to them. There your family and it's the biggest day of your life. You just don't let them get you down. It's you and your fi's day and that's all that matters!!! Just tell us about all the planning.... That's what we're here for

vk2204

It's hard NOT to talk to someone about your wedding, especially when they are family. If you can, maybe try the "oh we haven't decided between x and y, so you will see at the wedding". Tell them you want to keep some things a surprise! Good luck.

GinaV0822

Same thing here.  I'm so excited about things we're doing and I do want it to be a surprise to the guests, but I want to tell my mom about some of it.  Everytime I do, I regret it.  She always has to point out the negative.  So, I'm just gonna let her show up and be amazed at what we've accomplished.  Gotta pick your battles.  I'm learning to just say a few things here and there, but nothing detailed.  

Your family is just wanting the best for you I'm sure.  But I know they can drive you crazy!!!!  Unless they are paying for you to fly down there to do a cake tasting then I can't see that it should matter to them!

ChiGirl2013

The sad thing is, it's just a handful that are ruining it.  And the rest of them.... they're not really interested.  I'm the last of "my generation" to make the trip down the aisle so it's no big deal by now, like it was when the first one got married.  I just want someone to share the excitement with.... guess that will have to be you guys. 

I also know it has a LOT to do with the destination wedding.  My family is very traditional and they're LIVID that I'm not having the princess wedding everyone else had.  I even had 1 family member offer a HUUUUUUGE amount of money if we'd have the wedding here, but I knew we'd only end up being miserable.  I can only hope that once they get down there and see the place and witness the wedding/reception that they will change their mind and maybe even be glad that they had the opportunity to visit someplace new.  We have a lot of fun & exciting things planned and I would hate to know that, in the end, they were miserable the entire time and regretted going.

We actually did make the trip down to meet with vendors.  The cake was the only one we didn't decide on.  We met with 4 bakers that were all highly recommended.  One baked out of her house and has us to the house, where I saw her cat walking on the kitchen counters.  No thanks.  One had a HORRIBLE attitude and kept trying to force us into doing cupcakes instead of a cake, which we don't want.  One had really dry cake and the other one had good cake and horrible fillings that were either sour or gritty. 

erbear84

My mom complains a lot when I bring things up so I talk to my FMIL more now.  Mom just says "where are you getting the money" for ANY idea I bring up and I'm just tired of the negativity.  FMIL constructively helps me out.

RowenaD

I'm in the same boat as you girls. My MOH is making it hell everything I like she turns around and says it stupid or that's not good enought. I'm sorry who's wedding it it?