When to notify best man that you want him...

ginagirl9

Hello all, hope you are all having a great day.

I have a question, our wedding is April 26, 2013 and i have asked all of my MOH and BM to stand up in the wedding and given them "job/title" I asked them practically the second we got engaged with now date even set yet.  My FI on the other hand has just this last week told the guys they he wanted them to be in the wedding.. Naturally the guys are asking who is his best man, and doing silly things to give themselves a "point" to earn the best man titile. My FI knows who he wants it to be but hasn't ask him yet.  Can you tell me when is accurate time to notifiy the guy he wants as his best man. I think he should tell him ASAP so he can plan accordingly, but FI thinks he can tell him closer to the wedding. What do you think??

Thompc04

My FI asked his guys right away. I don't know what the standard is but i think if he knows who he wants he should ask them ASAP.
 

redjellybean128

My Fi asked his best friend almost immediately after we were engaged.  I'm not sure what the standard is either, but if he has already asked his guys, there is no reason why he should wait to ask the best man. 

orangehills

My FI asked his when he called to tell him he was engaged. We haven't done anything more than that though. About 6 months out we'll start figuring out the suit stuff and all that!

shipsinthenight

I agree with PPs, he should tell him now. I don't know if he's enjoying the competition between his friends to "earn" the spot, or if he's worried it will damage one friendship or another, but since he already knows, he should let the guys know now. Fi called his BF/Best Man within 24 hours of us getting engaged and asked him. He'd known he wanted him since before he met me, and he told me so within a few months of us dating. Tell him to get it over with. If he's delaying because the guys are trying to one up each other, he's taking advantage of them, and if it's because he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, it'll be worse closer to the wedding.

ginagirl9

thanks ladies... I think he should tell him ASAP also. I can only assume it is because he has 3 brothers and  cousin standing up with us. His cousin is his best friend all his life, i think he may be worried that his brothers will get upset. But wether he tells them now or later if they are going to get upset they will either way.  I just wanted to see what you ladies thought.

mabapunta

Wish my FI would take the initiative to decide! He still hasn't asked anyone! He definitely thinks it's no big deal and can ask them closer to the wedding...I gave him a definite deadline to ask by Christmas - and even that is too far away!