Anyone else just...sad?

Cryssteen

I feel like nothing I've planned for my wedding is at all what I wanted it to be.  I'm sad all of the time and find it hard to get excited about any of it.  After my first dress was ruined and I had to get a totally different one, I think it changed the whole experience for me.  I never wanted a big wedding, but we're having 220 people... I didn't want a large bridal party, but I have 8 girls... I didn't want it in a hall, but there's not another option for that many people.  Before, when I had my first dress that was totally "me" that other stuff didn't bother me.  Now, I guess... I just don't care about any of it.  I just want to go to the court house, but my fiance is so excited about all of the rest of it.  It's all what he wants.  Not that he forced it.  I just didn't care.  I was going to look exactly how I wanted to in my vintage lace dress... now I'm not and I just am unhappy about every aspect of it.  I find myself explaining why each element is the way it is, rather than being excited about it.  Ugh. I think I need to be medicated.  

vk2204

No matter how many people will be there, all you will see is your FI becoming your husband! Try to not be sad - turn that frown upside down!

Christine9866

I agree with VK. At the end of the day, it is just really about you and FI. Its about celebrating the love that you both have for each other! Try not to stress over that other stuff. I am sure your wedding is going to be beautiful and you are going to look beautiful in the new dress all dolled up with hair and make up. Although you might have done it differently I think when you arrive that day you are going are going to feel the love of those 220 people that are there to celebrate the both of you

I am excited that we have 129 friends and family coming to our wedding.Its such a great feeling knowing that we are going to have all of our favorite people in one room together for the entire night.

sis180

I felt the same way too, about some of the planning. I feel like maybe some aspects I rushed alittle bit (e.g., dress), and wish I would've taken more time. But, in the end, all that matters is that your Fiance shows up and says "I do". 

ChiGirl2013

I am in the same boat.  I can't make myself get excited because of all the drama, all the things we had to cut because of the budget, and the things I had to settle for because we couldn't afford what we really wanted.  There's nothing wrong with what you're feeling.  Yes, at the end of the day you will have an amazing husband, but I know that doesn't erase what's in your heart.  Just practice your fake smile and do your best.  You never know - some of it might not turn out as bad as you think it will.  *HUGS*

[Deleted User]

I don't think you're alone. I think, as it gets closer, there's a lot of stuff going on to try to organize, figure out, and pull together last minute. I know, at least for me, when I start having to micromanage my life like that to make sure I fit everything in, I get more sad about things. Plus, I think there's an expectation problem. We've all been planning and working so hard to get everything done and ready and perfect and then, when things aren't exactly perfect, it's hard to handle after so much time and effort has been put into it. At least, that's how I've been feeling. Plus, for me, there were a couple of disappointing "noes" which have brought me down a bit.

However, as others said, what's important is that you're marrying your FI. Everything will be perfect because that will be perfect. Even if the details aren't actually exactly how you wanted, it'll still be an amazing day.

phoenix870509

I wanted a small, intimate garden ceremony, 35 people max. Nope, I'm getting about 100 people because FI has such a HUGE family. We actually had to cut people from his list because it would have overshadowed my side. He was upset about it for a bit but then realized my family had to be there too! I'm feeling depressed because I know after the wedding it's going to be blah, the same feeling one gets after Christmas. The big "That's it!?" after all the presents are opened and all the excitment is over. FI and I already feel like we're married, this wedding is just formality. I just want it to be over and done with at this point. My mom has also sucked a lot of the excitment out of it by being such a B! So I'm with ya there.

orangehills

But your venue looks beautiful, so you are lucky that it is so goregous, even though it's a hall! And I remember your new dress, it was so pretty!! I know how you feel though. I am getting the small wedding I originally wanted, but it is sad not to have everyone there I would like to have. My dress is beautiful, but different then how I imagined. If I had known I was going to have such a small wedding originally, I'd be getting married by the beach, but by the time I knew I was, it was too late to do the beach. Plus, I never lost any of the weight I gained in the last year, just maintained that gain for the last few months so my arms will look puffier than I'd like. *sigh* BUT I tell myself, it will still be beautiful and nice and fun and I will be married at the end of it. And really, we'll choose like 2 good pictures and frame them and then be over it and moving on to kids lol

tiny speck

Hang in there! I'm sure it will work out well, and that you will have a good day! As everyone has said, at the end of the day all the details won't matter, although I know it's easier said than done.

adawn1981

This is a normal feeling!!  Just remember that your wedding will be beautiful and no wedding is ever going to be perfect.  It will never be exactly what you want either because 2 people are getting married and they both have families that have a lot of say!  Mine is about 80% what I want, which is good!  But there are some things that I am not happy with, but they'll do and it will still be wonderful.

Actually that 80% is 80% what I want knowing our budget.  If we had 20K for a wedding I would be at about 20% of what I want, LOL.

But we decided to cut the budget and save that money for a baby.  That plan worked for me!!

Everyone's weddings will be wonderful and beautiful and we will all be "oohing and awwing" at everyone else's pictures here in the next month or so!  We will also be laughing at anything that went "wrong" because in the grand scheme of things it won't really matter, it will just be funny!  I am fully planning on falling down at some point at my wedding, between the shoes, the long dress and my inability to be coordinated... I hope that doesn't happen, but if it does I will LMAO!  Unless I rip my dress or something.. that would be sad. LOL

faile556

I hear you.
I wanted to elope. I spent probably the first 3 - 4 months of our 9 month engagement continually bringing it up that I'd rather elope.

I'd still have prefered to elope.

I am getting the honeymoon I want. I got the dress I wanted, I refuse to think about what could have been on that front. The location isn't exactly what I wanted, but that's what we get for choosing an April date when all the "good" spots won't let you outside until May. The decor is good, it's not amazing or awe inspiring but it will suffice.

At the end of the day I'll be married, and once that's all over with we leave for the honeymoon. I'm way more excited about the vacation hahahah! I think it's because the vacation represents that it's all over, I'll be a Mrs. and the wedding will be behind us and I'll finally get to relax!