XP: Seriously

abbyizzymommy

Ok girls, I desperately need your help to find some positive in this... So back in April 2012 when we got engaged FMIL told us to leave the honeymoon out of the budget because she wanted to get it for us. I was really surprised because generally speaking she is extremely selfish and not my biggest fan. Ok so fast forward to now.. She says "hey guys so I booked you a cruise 5 days to Mexico for your honeymoon" we were super excited, thank you soo much freaking out. Then she says,"oh by the way, me and my husband are coming too"!!!!! Are you kidding me?!?! I'm so annoyed, FI and I have 2 girls ages 8 2 and we never get away. And to be honest I wouldn't want to spend 5 days stuck at sea with her on any occasion much less my honeymoon. Ok so I know that must sound awful, I am always respectful and nice to her, but she really just isn't a very nice person.. Anyway so now I'm bummed not looking forward to it at all. Am I being crazy??

vk2204

I would definitely be bummed out that your in laws are going, especially if your girls aren't even going to be there. How does your FI feel about it? Is he upset at all?

I guess since it is already booked and plans are set that you can't change anything now; the only thing you can do is try and avoid them. Honestly, I would ask them what they plan on doing while on the cruise, and then make an opposite plan of your own. But set aside maybe one afternoon and one evening to spend time with them? I am sure they understand it is your honeymoon and hopefully they won't be bothering you guys - and if they do, have your FI say something.

orangehills

Wow, that sucks, I'd be absolutely livid that a) she didn't even give you a choice or let you know what was going on and b) that she is making it a family trip and not a honeymoon. I mean, that is super nice she gave you a honeymoon, but still- talk about strings attached! Get all the information for your trip- your confirmation number, everything. Call the cruise line and make sure that you aren't sitting at the same dining table or in rooms next to each other if possible. Don't tell them any of your plans so that you don't take the same excursions. That way, you both get your trip, but you also get a honeymoon and she can't tag along to anything that you don't want her at. Also- if you find that they are tagging along, like trying to sit next to you at the pool or anything, (if you don't want them there) tell your FI he has to tell them to lay off and do their own thing.

[Deleted User]

Ugh!  No way!  Good luck with planning to avoid them on the ship.  I used to drive a 231 foot ship and it was impossible to avoid people.  Luckly, cruise ships are waaaaay bigger so it might be possible.  Maybe you can get your steward on your side to make up stories about where you are if they try to show up unexpectedly ;-) 

I would encourage you to book lots of spa appointments, she can't bust into those, hehe.

ChiGirl2013

Oh, I'd be mad too for sure!  However, I've been on a cruise and I can assure you that you CAN avoid them quite easily.  We went with some friends and if we hadn't been assigned to their table at dinner, we never would have seen them.  We never once ran into them. 

If you have your booking number, I'd call the cruise line and change your room to another deck, or as far away as you can get from FIL's.  Then just frequent places you'd enjoy - the raunchy midnight comedy shows, the piano bar, etc and stay away from things like bingo and the sun deck.  If you have assigned dinner seating, it won't kill you to eat with them once or twice, but there are so many other options for dining that you don't HAVE to eat dinner with them every night.  Book zipline excursions, rather than chartered bus tours of your ports of call.

Before then, though, your FI needs to sit down with his Mommy and tell her that his marriage is the final step in cutting the apron strings and that he hopes they will respect your privacy and the fact that it's your HONEYMOON and not expect to monopolize your time.  Make sure he tells her that you're both very grateful for their generous gift, but that you're both hoping for a lot of PRIVATE time without anyone else interfering.

jakigaudet

That is so not cool! What a very strange thing to do. She obviously didn't tell you upfront that that was her intention for a reason. I'd go bananas over this.